Part 14

It is optional whether you go to the grave or not; it is customary now, to go merely to the house, until the procession has moved, when you are at liberty to return to your ordinary pursuits.

CLXXIII.

Returning cards “of thanks” after a death for visits of condolence, implies that the bereaved parties are prepared to receive visiters; it must, therefore, be with them entirely a matter of feeling, as to how soon it is done.

CARDS.

CLXXIV.

Never be too punctilious and exacting with regard to the penalties incurred through mistakes.

CLXXV.

Lose without any exhibition of ill-humor, and win without any symptoms of exultation.

CLXXVI.

Never lose your temper at cards, and avoid the exhibition of anxiety or of vexation at want of success. If you are playing whist, not only keep your temper, but hold your tongue; any intimation to your partner is not ladylike.

CLXXVII.

Women should never play, unless they can retain the command of their temper. She who wishes to win a heart or retain one, should never permit her admirers to behold her at cards, as the anxiety they produce is as destructive to beauty as to sentiment.

PRESENTS.

CLXXVIII.

Ladies’ gifts to gentlemen should be of the most refined nature possible; little articles not purchased, but those deriving a priceless value as being the offering of their gentle skill, such as a trifle from their needle, or a picture from their pencil. But such offerings, though invaluable among friends, are not used on occasions of ceremony.

CLXXIX.

In the eyes of persons of delicacy, presents are of no worth, except from the manner in which they are bestowed. Strive, then, to give them this value.

CLXXX.

Never give away a present which you have received from another; or at least, so arrange it, that it may never be known.

CLXXXI.

Endeavor always to present an article which the recipient has not. This in many cases may be difficult; but where it is possible, it should always be done. I have known gentlemen to receive half a dozen purses, only one of which did they use.

GENERAL OBSERVATIONS.

CLXXXII.

In entering any public room with a gentleman, let him precede you and obtain a seat.

CLXXXIII.

If at another’s house you should break anything, do not appear to notice it. Your hostess, if a lady, would take no notice of the calamity, nor say, as is sometimes done by ill-bred persons, “Oh! it is of no consequence.”

CLXXXIV.

Do not beat the “devil’s tattoo,” by drumming with your fingers on a table. Never read in an audible whisper; it disturbs those near you.