Part 13

Do not imagine that you will increase your importance by hauteur to your own or to other people’s servants.

CLX.

At the house of your friend always preface your request to a servant by the words, “I would thank you for so and so;” and do not omit the usual courtesy on receiving it.

CLXI.

Do not scold your servants; you had better turn them away at once. When they need reproof, give them it in a calm, dignified, and firm manner; but on no account, if you can possibly avoid it, find fault with them in the presence of strangers, even though they should let fall the tray with your best set of china upon it.

CLXII.

If you have only one servant, speak of her by her Christian name; if you have more, talk of them by the names of their offices, such as nurse, cook, housemaid, footman, &c., but always address them by their Christian names.

LETTERS AND NOTES.

CLXIII.

In writing, endeavor to make your style clear, concise, elegant, and appropriate for all subjects. Avoid repetitions, erasures, insertions, omissions, and confusion of ideas, or labored construction. If your letter is to an equal or friend, these blemishes may remain; if otherwise, it must be commenced again.

CLXIV.

To write on very coarse paper is allowable only for the most indigent; to use gilt-edged and perfumed paper for letters of business, would be ridiculous. The very best paper, but plain or without much ornament, is most to be recommended.

CLXV.

It is extremely impolite to write upon a single leaf of paper, even if it is a billet; it should always be double, although we write only two or three lines. Envelopes are now used almost as much as the paper itself is.

CLXVI.

Use a lofty style towards persons to whom you owe respect; an easy, trifling, or even jesting style toward a friend, and a courteous style toward one another generally.

CLXVII.

The date is often necessary to the understanding of many passages of your letter, therefore never omit it. It may be put at the right hand of the commencement of the letter, if writing to an equal; but in writing to a superior, it should be at the end, in order that the title at the head of the letter may be entirely alone.

CLXVIII.

Seal your communications with wax: bronze or other colors are more suitable than red; use black wax when in mourning. Let the seal be small; large ones are in very bad taste.

CLXIX.

Ceremonious notes and social letters should always be in the third person, and of course not signed.

CLXX.

Letters of introduction should be concise and brief, and enclosed in an envelope, unsealed.

FUNERALS.

CLXXI.

When any of your acquaintances are deceased, be at the house at not quite an hour after the time specified, as the procession moves exactly one hour after the time announced.

CLXXII.