Part 13

“What are the churches doing for humanity?” asked Brother Talmage. Funny he does not know; they’re getting up fairs.

Tailor measuring fat customer--“Would you hold the end, sir, while I go around!”

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LECTURE ON “ROUGH ON RATS.”--“This is what killed your poor father. Shun it. Avoid anything containing it throughout your future useful(?) careers. We older heads object to its especial ‘Rough’ ness.”]

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89. Tennis, polo, bathing, boating-- Picnic, music, flirting, doting-- These your pastimes best worth noting!

90. When vanities bring weariness, You’ll seek a rural wilderness-- Meet penance for your wickedness!

91. Unless you’re a Mormon, or Turk, Contented you’ll be with this year’s work.

92. Your seaside dreams of love and money Will end in country milk and honey.

93. How sweet to thee is love’s young dream When gliding down the placid stream.

94. Dear captive feet are now set free To skip and dance right merrily, As winter stealeth o’er the sea.

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“THE BATH.”--OSPREY BEACH.]

“There’s a letter in the candle,” is the title of a new song. It’s a pretty production, but yet we can’t help thinking that if the letter stays there long it’s going to get scorched so that no one can read it.

Noisy little boys in Cincinnati are told that right in the centre of the hind hoofs of every live mule there is a little lump of gold, which can be easily dug out with a penknife.

There’s one pleasant thing about house cleaning. A man can straddle himself out in the parlor for a day or two and spit on the floor without spoiling a Brussels carpet.

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95. You’ll meet many cranks at the seaside this year-- It must be the Comet that made them so queer.

96. You’ll have in place of dance hall skips Holy greetings from brethren’s lips-- Prayer meetings: good fellowships.

97. The happy day is drawing nigh-- To all your pains and cares good-bye!

98. The summer dies, and birds of prey To city haunts now fly away.

99. You’re leaving now to meet no more The only one you could adore.

100. To young and old I bid farewell, And will next year their fortunes tell.

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“THE PLACE WHERE THE GOOD FOLKS GO.”--OCEAN GROVE.]

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The time for a man to stand firmly by Job’s example is when he washes his face with home-made soap and begins to paw around over the chairs with his eyes shut, inquiring for a towel, quick, and is told that the towel is in the drawer, but the keys are lost.