Part 15

THE WRONG COLUMN.

64. A clerk, while posting from day book to ledger, transposed an amount by placing the pence in the shilling column and the shillings in the pence column, thereby causing an error of 9s. 2d. With what amount could he make such a mistake?

EDUCATIONAL VAGARIES.

Extracts from Reports of Country Provisional Schools.

School No. 1: On roll, 1 boy, 1 girl; total, 2. Average attendance, 0·6 boy, 0·6 girl; total, 1·2.

School No. 2: On roll, 2 boys, 2 girls; total 4. Average attendance, 1·6 boys, 1·3 girls; total, 2·9.

School No. 3: On roll, 2 boys, no girls. Average attendance, 0·8 boys.

By the above we see the public are paying for a teacher to provide education for eight-tenths of a boy!

65. Three-fourths of a cross, and a circle complete, Two semi-circles at a perpendicular meet; Next add a triangle which stands on two feet, Two semi-circles and a circle complete.

A DISPUTE.

66. Two men have an equal interest in a grindstone, which is 5 ft. 6 in. in diameter. The centre of the stone, to the extent of a diameter of 18 in., is useless, and not to be taken into account.

Required to find the depth to which the first partner may be allowed to grind away from the stone in order to leave an equal share of the stone to the second partner.

BANK NOTE VERSE.

On the backs of bank notes one sometimes meets with strange and peculiar sentiments. “Go, poor devil, get thee gone,” is the kind of parting salutation most in favour; but the following is chiefly notable as a rare instance of the bank-note rhymester parting with his money in a Christian spirit:

Farewell, my note, and wheresoe’er ye wend, Shun gaudy scenes, and be the poor man’s friend; You’ve left a poor one--go to one as poor; And drive despair and hunger from his door.

An Irish merchant, who felt annoyed at a complaining letter he received from a customer, wrote back:--“We decline to acknowledge the receipt of yours of the 15th.”

If to-day is the to-morrow of yesterday, is to-day the yesterday of to-morrow?

67. Suppose that four poor men build their houses around a pond, and that afterwards four evil-disposed rich men build houses at the back of the poor people--as shown in illustration--and wish to have a monopoly of the water: how can they erect a fence so as to shut the poor people off from the pond?

SOME TRADE SIGNS AND MOTTOES.

Many curious inscriptions are to be found displayed on shop windows, office doors, etc.

Here are a few:--

A Pawnbroker.--“Mine is a business of the greatest interest.”

A Flourishing Bootmaker.--“Don’t you wish you were in my shoes?”

A Publican.--“Good beer sold here, but don’t take my word for it.”

A Hairdresser.--“Two heads are better than one.”

A Carter.--“Excelsior--hire and hire.”

A Baker.--“The staff of life I do supply, by it you live and so must I.”

A Butcher.--“We kill to dress, not dress to kill.”