Part 14

One ought to have dates at one’s finger ends seeing they grow upon the palms.

TO TELL THE SPOTS ON THE BOTTOM CARDS OF SIX HEAPS.

Allow anyone to choose six cards from a full pack. Tell him the court cards count 10, and the other cards according to their pips. Having made his selection, tell him to lay the chosen cards upon the table face downwards, without allowing you to see them, and to place upon each as many cards as pips are required to make 12. Whilst he is doing so, you should be out of the room or blindfolded. On your return he hands you the cards left over, and you have to tell the total number of spots on the six bottom cards.

Suppose he had chosen 10, 6, 1, K, 3 and 7, which totals 37, now on the 10, he would place two cards to make 12; on the 6, he would place 6; and on the 1, 11 would be placed, and so on. On receiving the remaining cards from him you pretend to be looking through them carefully, but you simply want to know how many he has given you, which in the above example would be 11. To this number you add 26, which gives 37, the total spots required.

Should there not be enough cards left on hand to complete the six heaps, you can ask him how many cards he is short of, and this number, subtracted from 25, will give the total. It is better not to allow the person to choose six cards right off at the beginning, but for him to shuffle and cut the pack as he pleases, and to take the cards as they come.

BOOK-KEEPING COMMANDMENTS.

By Ledger laws, what I receive Is Debtor made to those who give. Stock for my debts must Debtor be, and Creditor by Property. Profit and Loss accounts are plain, I Debit loss and Credit gain.

57. How far does a man walk while planting a field of corn 285 feet square, the rows being 3 ft apart from the fence?

A MATTER OF OPINION.

A man walks round a pole on the top of which is a monkey. As the man moves, the monkey turns on the top of the pole, so as still to keep face to face with the man. Now, when the man has gone round the pole, has he or has he not gone round the monkey?

TRY IT.

Take the number 15, multiply it by itself, and you have 225; now multiply 225 by itself, then multiply that product by itself, and so on until 15 products have been multiplied by themselves in turn. The final product called for contains 38,539 figures (the first of which is 1412). Allowing three figures to an inch, the answer would be over 1070 feet long. To perform the operation would require about 50,000,000 figures. If they can be made at the rate of 100 a minute, a person working 10 hours a day for 300 days in each year would be 28 years on the job.

PATHETIC ADVERTISING.

“Died, on the 11th ultimo., at his shop in Fleet-street, Mr. Edward Jones much regretted by all who knew and dealt with him. As a man, he was amiable; as a hatter, upright and moderate. His virtues were beyond all price, and his beaver hats were only £1 4s each. He has left a widow to deplore his loss, and a large stock to be sold cheap for the benefit of his family. He was snatched to the other world in the prime of life, and just as he had concluded an extensive purchase of felt, which he got so cheap that the widow can supply hats at a more moderate charge than any house in London. His disconsolate family will carry on his business with punctuality.”

58. In one corner of a hexagonal grass paddock each of the sides of which is 40 yards long, a horse is tethered with a rope 50 yards long. How many square yards can he graze over?

59. A and B start together from the same point on a circular path, and walk till they both arrive together at the starting point. If A performs the circuit in 224 seconds and B in 364 seconds, how many times do they each walk round?

“IF.”

If you could sell the sea at 1d. per 10,000 gallons, it would bring in 155 billion pounds. If you were to try and pump it dry, at the rate of 1,000 gallons per second, it would take 12,000 million years. There is always an “if” in these things!

60. A lady met a gentleman in the street. The gentleman said “I think I know you.” The lady said he ought, as his mother was her mother’s only daughter. What relation was he?

A CRICKET “CATCH.”

61. In an eleven, when the ninth batsman goes in, how many wickets have to fall before all are out?

62. A boat’s crew can row eight miles an hour in still water; what is the speed of a river’s current if it takes them 2 hours and 40 minutes to row 8 miles up and 8 miles down?

BAD WRITING.

In a well-known firm in Sydney the clerks are presided over by a rather impetuous manager, whose violent fits of temper very often dominate his reason. For instance, the other day he was wiring into one of them about his bad work.

“Look here, Jones,” he thundered, “this won’t do. These figures are a perfect disgrace to a clerk! I could get an office boy to make better figures than those, and I tell you I won’t have it! Now, look at that five, it looks just like a three. What do you mean, sir, by making such beastly figures? Explain!”

“I--er beg your pardon, sir,” suggested the trembling clerk, his heart fluttering terribly, “but--er well, you see, sir, it is three.”

“A three?” roared the manager; “why, it looks just like a five!”

63. Write 24 with three equal figures, neither of them being 8.