Heads and Tales

Part 1

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HEADS AND TALES.

PRINTED BY BALLANTYNE AND COMPANY EDINBURGH AND LONDON

HEADS AND TALES;

OR,

ANECDOTES AND STORIES OF QUADRUPEDS AND OTHER BEASTS,

CHIEFLY CONNECTED WITH INCIDENTS IN THE HISTORIES OF MORE OR LESS DISTINGUISHED MEN.

COMPILED AND SELECTED BY

ADAM WHITE, LATE ASSISTANT IN THE ZOOLOGICAL DEPARTMENT, BRITISH MUSEUM.

Second Edition.

LONDON: JAMES NISBET & CO., 21 BERNERS STREET. MDCCCLXX.

PREFACE.

In this work, a part of which is, so far as it extends, a careful compilation from an extensive series of books, the great order mammalia, or, rather, a few of its subjects, is treated anecdotically. The connexion of certain animals with man, and the readiness with which man can subdue even the largest of the mammalia, are very curious subjects of thought. The dog and horse are our special friends and associates; they seem to understand us, and we get very much attached to them. The cat or the cow, again, possess a different degree of attachment, and have "heads and hearts" less susceptible of this education than the first mentioned. The anecdotes in this book will clearly show facts of this nature. In the Letter of the Gorilla, under an appearance of exaggeration, will be found many facts of its history. We have a strong belief that natural history, written as White of Selborne did his Letter of Timothy the Tortoise, would be very enticing and interesting to young people. To make birds and other animals relate their stories has been done sometimes, and generally with success. There are anecdotes hinging, however, on animals which have more to do with man than the other mammals referred to in the little story. These stories we have felt to be very interesting when they occur in biographies of great men. Cowper and his Hares, Huygens and his Sparrow, are tales--at least the former--full of interesting matter on the history of the lower animal, but are of most value as showing the influence on the man who amused himself by taming them. We like to know that the great Duke, after getting down from his horse Copenhagen, which carried him through the whole battle of Waterloo, clapped him on the neck, when the war-charger kicked out, as if untired.

We could have added greatly to this book, especially in the part of jests, puns, or cases of double entendre. The few selected may suffice. The so-called conversations of "the Ettrick Shepherd" are full of matter of this kind, treated by "Christopher North" with a happy combination of rare power of description and apt exaggeration of detail, often highly amusing. One or two instances are given here, such as the Fox-hunt and the Whale. The intention of this book is primarily to be amusing; but it will be strange if it do not instruct as well. There is much in it that is true of the habits of mammalia. These, with birds, are likely to interest young people generally, more than anecdotes of members of orders like fish, insects, or molluscs, lower in the scale, though often possessing marvellous instincts, the accounts of which form intensely interesting reading to those who are fond of seeing or hearing of "the works of the Lord," and who "take pleasure" in them.

CONTENTS.

MAMMALIA.

PAGE MAN 1

Gainsborough's Joke--Skull of Julius Cæsar when a boy 2

Sir David Wilkie's simplicity about Babies 3

James Montgomery translates into verse a description of Man, after the manner of Linnæus 4

Addison and Sir Richard Steele's Description of Gimcrack the Collector 5

MONKEYS 9

The Gorilla and its Story 9

The Orang-Utan 11

The Chimpanzee 12

Letter of Mr Waterton 20

Mr Mitchell and the Young Chimpanzee 22

Lady Anne Barnard pleads for the Baboons 24

Part 2

S. Bisset and his Trained Monkeys 25

Lord Byron's Pets 26

The Ettrick Shepherd's Monkey 27

The Findhorn Fisherman and the Monkey 29

"We ha'e seen the Enemy!" 29

The French Marquis and his Monkey 30

George IV. and Happy Jerry.--Mr Cross's Rib-nosed Baboon at Exeter Change 31

The Young Lady's pet Monkey and the poor Parrot 33

Monkeys "poor relations" 34

Sydney Smith on Monkeys 34

Mrs Colin Mackenzie on the Apes at Simla 35

The Aye-Aye, or Cheiromys of Madagascar 36

BATS 38

One of Captain Cook's Sailors sees a Fox-Bat, and describes it as a devil 39

Fox Bats (with a Plate) 41

Dr Mayerne and his Balsam of Bats 47

HEDGEHOG 48

Robert Southey to his Critics 48

MOLE 49

Mole, cause of Death of William III. 49

BROWN BEAR 56

The Austrian General and the Bear--"Back, rascal, I am a general!" 58

Lord Byron's Bear at Cambridge 59

Charles Dickens on Bear's Grease and Bear-keepers 59

A Bearable Pun 60

A Shaved Bear 61

POLAR BEAR 61

General History and Anecdotes of Polar Bear, as observed on recent Arctic Expeditions (with a Plate) 61

Part 3

Nelson and the Polar Bear 67

A Clever Polar Bear 67

Captain Ommaney and the Polar Bear 70

RACCOON 71

"A Gone Coon" 71

BADGER 71

Hugh Miller sees the "Drawing of the Badger" 72

The Laird of Balnamoon and the Brock 75

FERRET 75

Collins and the Rat-catcher, with the Ferret 76

POLE-CAT 76

Fox and the Poll-Cat 77

DOG 77

Phrases about Dogs 77

Cowper's Dog 79

Cowper and his dog Beau 81

Burns's "Twa Dogs" 81

Dog of Assyrian Monument 86

Bishop Blomfield bitten by a Dog 88

Sydney Smith's Remark on it 88

Bishop of Bristol--"Puppies never see till they are nine days old" 88

Mrs Browning, the Poetess, and her dog Flush 89

Sir Thomas Fowell Buxton, Bart., and his dog Speaker 93

Lord Byron and his dog Boatswain 94

Lady's reason for calling her dog Perchance 96

Collins the Artist and his dog Prinny--the faithful Model 96

Soldier and Dog 97

Bark and Bite!--Curran on Lord Clare and his Dog 98

Part 4

Mrs Drew and the two Dogs 98

Gainsborough and his Wife and their Dogs 100

Sir William Gell's Dog, which was said to speak 101

The Duke of Gordon's Wolf-hounds 102

Frederick the Great and his Italian Greyhounds 104

The Dog and the French Murderers 104

Hannah More on Garrick's Dog 105

Rev. Robert Hall and the Dog 106

A Queen (Henrietta Maria) and her Lap-Dog 106

The Clever Dog that belonged to the Hunters of Polmood 107

The Irish Clergyman and the Dogs 108

Washington Irving and the Dog 108

Douglas Jerrold and his Dog 109

Sheridan and the Dog 109

Charles Lamb and his dog "Dash" 110

French Dogs of Louis XII. 110

Martin Luther observes a Dog at Lintz 111

Poor Dog at the Grotta del Cane 111

Dog a Postman and Carrier 113

South and Sherlock--Dog-matic 113

General Moreau and his Greyhound 113

Duke of Norfolk and his Spaniels 114

Lord North and the Dog 115

Perthes derives Hints from his Dog 115

Peter the Great and his dog Lisette 116

The Light Company's Poodle and Sir F. Ponsonby 118

Admiral Rodney and his dog Loup 119

Ruddiman and his dog Rascal 119

Part 5

Mrs Schimmelpenninck and the Dogs 120

Sir Walter Scott and his Dogs 122

Sheridan on the Dog-Tax 123

Sydney Smith dislikes Dogs.--An ingenious way of getting rid of them 124

Sydney Smith on Dogs 125

Sydney Smith.--"Newfoundland Dog that breakfasted on Parish Boys" 126

Robert Southey on his Dogs 126

A Dog that was a good judge of Elocution.--Mr True and his Pupil 127

Dog that tried to please a Crying Child 128

Horace Walpole's pet dog Rosette 128

Horace Walpole.--Arrival of his dog Tonton 129

Horace Walpole.--Death of his dog Tonton 130

Archbishop Whateley and his Dogs 131

Archbishop Whately on Dogs 132

Sir David Wilkie.--A Dog Rose 133

Ulysses and his Dog 133

WOLF 135

Polson and the Last Wolf in Sutherlandshire 135

"If the tail break, you'll find that" 137

FOX 138

An Enthusiastic Fox-hunting Surgeon 138

Hogg, the Ettrick Shepherd, on the Pleasures of Fox-hunting, and the gratification of the Fox 139

Arctic Foxes converted into Postmen, with Anecdotes (with a plate) 142

JACKAL 148

Burke on the Jackal and Tiger 149

CAT 149

Jeremy Bentham and his pet cat "Sir John Langborn 150

S. Bisset and his Musical Cats 152

Part 6

Constant, Chateaubriand, and their Cats 153

Liston, the Surgeon, and his Cat 153

The Banker Mitchell's Antipathy to Kittens 154

James Montgomery and his Cats 155

David Ritchie's Cat 157

Sir Walter Scott's Visit to the Black Dwarf 157

Southey, the Poet, and his Cats 158

Archbishop Whateley and the Cat that used to ring the Bell 160

TIGER AND LION 161

Bussapa, the Tiger-slayer, and the Tiger 162

John Hunter and the Dead Tiger 164

Mrs Mackenzie on the Indian's regard and awe for the Tiger 165

Jolly Jack-tar on Lion and Tiger 166

Androcles and the Lion 167

Sir George Davis and the Lion 170

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