Part 3

"At present we are staying at a farm..."]

"When the 'ell is it goin' to be strawberry?"]

"Yer knows the dead 'orse 'cross the road? Well, keep straight on till yer comes to a p'rambulator 'longside a Johnson 'ole."]

"Where 'ave you been? 'Avin' your bloomin' fortune told?"]

Out since Mons: "Well, what sort of a night 'ave yer 'ad?"

Novice (but persistent optimist): "Oh, alright. 'Ad to get out and rest a bit now and again."]

"Never mind about that now, drink this."

"The Push"--in Three Chapters.

By one who's been "Pushed."]

Scene: Loos, during the September offensive.

Colonel Fitz-Shrapnel receives the following message from "G. H. Q.":--"Please let us know, as soon as possible, the number of tins of raspberry jam issued to you last Friday."]

A "Bitter" disappointment on waking.]

"'And me a rifle, someone. I'll give these ----s 'ell for this!"]

What we should like to see at our billets--and (inset) what we do see.]

How he thought he was going to use it----]

To be on patrol duty at night-time.]

"Keep yer 'ead still, or I'll 'ave yer blinkin' ear off."]

"Machine guns form a valuable support for infantry."]

Member of Navvies' Battalion (to Colonel): "I say, yer mate's dropped 'is cane."]

"In future I snipe from the ground."]

"What time shall I call you in the morning, sir?"

(Colonel Chutney, V.C., home on short leave, decides to keep in touch with dug-out life.)]

"Pop out and get it, Bert."

"Pop out yerself."]

"Personally, I think this is just what you want for laying your eggs in, but, as Bairnsfather says, 'If you knows of a better 'ole, go to it.'"]

"Give it a good 'ard 'un, Bert; you can generally 'ear 'em fizzing a bit first if they are a-goin' to explode."]

"Well, Alfred, 'ow are the cakes?"]

No. 99988 Private Blobs (on sentry-go) feels that he has at last stumbled across the true explanation of that somewhat cryptic expression, "There'll be dirty work at the cross-roads to-night!"]