Part 2

TO BE LET (three minutes from German trenches), this attractive and

WELL-BUILT DUG-OUT,

containing one reception-kitchen-bedroom and UP-TO-DATE FUNK HOLE (4ft. by 6ft.), all modern inconveniences, including gas and water. This desirable Residence stands one foot above water level, commanding an excellent view of the enemy trenches.

EXCELLENT SHOOTING (SNIPE AND DUCK).

--Particulars of the late Tenant, Room 6, Base Hospital, Bonlog c.]

What is this slimy dismal hole Where oft I'm lurking like a mole And cursing Germans heart and soul? My Dug-Out

Where is it that beneath the floor The water's rising more and more And where the roof's a broken door? My Dug-Out

Where is it that I try to sleep Betwixt alarms, when up I leap And dash through water four feet deep? My Dug-Out

Where is it that I'll catch a chill And lose my only quinine pill And probably remain until---- I'm dug out? My Dug-Out

My Dug-Out: A lay of the trenches.]

"Oh, star of eve, whose tender beam Falls on my spirit's troubled dream."

--Wolfram's Aria in "Tannhäuser."]

In an old-fashioned house in France an opening will shortly occur for a young man, with good prospects of getting a rise.]

A member of the Gravediggers' Corps joking with a private in the Orphans' Battalion, prior to a frontal attack.]

mine!

A Proposal in Flanders.

The point of Jean's pitchfork awakens a sense of duty in a mine that shirked.]

Sentry: "'Alt! Who goes there?"

He of the Bundle: "You shut yer ---- mouth, or I'll ---- come and knock yer ---- head off!"

Sentry: "Pass, friend!"]

The Young and Talkative One: "Who made that 'ole?"

The Fed-up One: "Mice."]

"I'm sure they'll 'ear this damn thing squeakin'."]

"Fire should be withheld till a favourable target presents itself."]

Private Jones (late "Zogitoff," the comedy wire artist) appreciably reduces the quantity of hate per yard of frontage.]

"I see the War Babies' Battalion is a coming out."]

Owing to dawn breaking sooner than he anticipated, that inventive fellow, Private Jones, has a trying time with his latest creation, "The Little Plugstreet," the sniper's friend.]

Private Smith, the company bomber, formerly "Shinio," the popular juggler, frequently causes considerable anxiety to his platoon.]