Part 2

IX.

If you wish to avoid the company of a gentleman who has been properly introduced, treat him with respect, at the same time shunning his company. But few will mistake you.

If, in travelling, any one introduces himself to you in a proper and respectful manner, conduct yourself toward him with reserve and dignity, yet with ease and politeness; and thank him for any attentions he may render you. If he is a gentleman he will appreciate your behavior; if he is not, he will be deterred from annoying you. All such acquaintances cease with the occasion. Converse only upon topics of general interest; it is necessary only to be civil. If he should betray the least want of respect, turn from him in dignified silence; a lady by her behavior always has it in her power to silence the boldest.

XI.

If on paying a morning visit you meet strangers at the house of your friend and are introduced, it is a mere matter of form, and does not entitle you to future recognition by such persons.

XII.

Be very cautious of giving a gentleman a letter of introduction to a lady,--it may be the means of settling the weal or woe of the persons for life.

XIII.

If you have an introductory letter, do not deliver it yourself, unless upon cases of urgent business, but send it with your card and the number of your lodging, enclosed in an envelope, as soon as you have made yourself comfortable after arriving at your destination.

XIV.

On receiving a letter introducing any person, so soon as convenient wait upon her, and show such attention as the nature of the introduction may require: upon meeting the party introduced, you will easily perceive whether any further INTIMACY will be desirable.

XV.

A lady, who receives a letter introducing a gentleman, may answer it by a note to the bearer, inviting him to pay a morning or evening visit.

XVI.

When introduced to another lady, you may say, “I am very happy to make your acquaintance;” but there are few cases where this remark can be addressed with propriety to a gentleman. It is a favor for him to be presented to her, therefore the pleasure is on his side.

RECOGNITIONS AND SALUTATIONS.

XVII.

The superior in rank and station should first salute the inferior. Therefore, if you meet a gentleman in the street with whom you are acquainted, recollect that it is your province to recognise him before he presumes to salute you. Another reason is, he may bow to you, when you do not recognise him, and there is no remedy; but if you recognise him first, no gentleman would fail to return the salute. Though etiquette is quite definite on the subject, it is often waived with advantage when intimacy, equality of station and circumstances, and a known appreciation of each other, warrant the liberty.

XVIII.

If a person whom you have met as specified in Nos. IV. and XI., should presume to salute you, do not recognise the salute, but pass on, and leave him to suppose that you imagined it was intended for another.

XIX.

On meeting a friend in any public place, do not boisterously salute, or proclaim her name aloud.

XX.

It is, in general, bad taste for ladies to kiss each other in the presence of gentlemen, with whom they are but slightly acquainted.

XXI.

It is proper to vary the phraseology of questions concerning another’s health as much as possible, and to abstain from them entirely toward a superior or a person with whom we are but little acquainted, as such inquiries presuppose some degree of intimacy. Custom forbids a lady to make these inquiries of a gentleman, unless he is very ill or aged.

XXII.

After we are informed of the health of the persons we are visiting, it is proper to inquire of them in relation to that of their families; and in case of absence of near relations, if they have heard from them lately, and if the news is favorable. They on their part usually ask the same of us.