Crit. Clearly, the need of vision.
Soc. If so, my eyes are proved at once to be more beautiful than yours.
Crit. How so?
Soc. Because yours can only see just straight in front of them, whereas mine are prominent and so projecting, they can see aslant. (5)
(5) Or, "squint sideways and command the flanks."
Crit. And amongst all animals, you will tell us that the crab has loveliest eyes? (6) Is that your statement?
(6) Or, "is best provided in respect of eyeballs."
Soc. Decidedly, the creature has. And all the more so, since for strength and toughness its eyes by nature are the best constructed.
Crit. Well, let that pass. To come to our two noses, which is the more handsome, yours or mine?
Soc. Mine, I imagine, if, that is, the gods presented us with noses for the sake of smelling. Your nostrils point to earth; but mine are spread out wide and flat, as if to welcome scents from every quarter.
Crit. But consider, a snubness of the nose, how is that more beautiful than straightness? (7)
(7) Or, "your straight nose." Cf. Plat. "Theaet." 209 C: Soc. "Or, if I had further known you not only as having nose and eyes, but as having a snub nose and prominent eyes, should I have any more notion of you than myself and others who resemble me?" Cf. also Aristot. "Pol." v. 9, 7: "A nose which varies from the ideal of straightness to a hook or snub may still be a good shape and agreeable to the eye; but if the excess be very great, all symmetry is lost, and the nose at last ceases to be a nose at all on account of some excess in one direction or defect in the other; and this is true of every other part of the human body. The same law of proportion holds in states."--Jowett.
Soc. For this good reason, that a snub nose does not discharge the office of a barrier; (8) it allows the orbs of sight free range of vision: whilst your towering nose looks like an insulting wall of partition to shut off the two eyes. (9)
(8) Or, "the humble snub is not a screen or barricade."
(9) Cf. "Love's Labour Lost," v. 2. 568: Boyet. "Your nose says no, you are not, for it stands too right"; also "The Song of Solomon," vii. 4: "Thy nose is the tower of Lebanon, which looketh toward Damascus."
As to the mouth (proceeded Critobulus), I give in at once; for, given mouths are made for purposes of biting, you could doubtless bite off a much larger mouthful with your mouth than I with mine.
Soc. Yes, and you will admit, perhaps, that I can give a softer kiss than you can, thanks to my thick lips.
Crit. It seems I have an uglier mouth than any ass.
Soc. And here is a fact which you will have to reckon with, if further evidence be needed to prove that I am handsomer than you. The naiads, nymphs, divine, have as their progeny Sileni, who are much more like myself, I take it, than like you. Is that conclusive?
Nay, I give it up (cried Critobulus), I have not a word to say in answer. I am silenced. Let them record the votes. I fain would know at once what I must suffer or must pay. (10) Only (he added) let them vote in secret. (11) I am afraid your wealth and his (Antisthenes') combined may overpower me.
(10) For this formula see "Dict. Ant." {timema}. Cf. "Econ." xi. 25; Plat. "Apol." 36 B; "Statesm." 299 A; "Laws," freq.; Dem. 529. 23; 533. 2.
(11) And not as in the case described (Thuc. iv. 74), where the people (at Megara) were compelled to give sentence on the political opponents of the oligarchs by an open vote. Cf. Lysias, 133, 12, {ten de psephon ouk eis kadiskous, alla phaneran epi tas trapezas tautas dei tithenai}.
Accordingly the boy and girl began to register the votes in secret, while Socrates directed the proceedings. He would have the lamp-stand (12) this time brought close up to Critobulus; the judges must on no account be taken in; the victor in the suit would get from the two judges, not a wreath of ribands (13) for a chaplet, but some kisses.
(12) {ton lukhnon} here, above, S. 2, {ton lamptera}. Both, I take it, are oil-lamps, and differ merely as "light" and "lamp."
(13) Cf. Plat. "Symp." 213; "Hell." V. i. 3.
When the urns were emptied, it was found that every vote, without exception, had been cast for Critobulus. (14)
(14) Lit. "When the pebbles were turned out and proved to be with Critobulus, Socrates remarked, 'Papae!'" which is as much to say, "Od's pity!"
Whereat Socrates: Bless me! you don't say so? The coin you deal in, Critobulus, is not at all like that of Callias. His makes people just; whilst yours, like other filthy lucre, can corrupt both judge and jury. (15)
The Symposium · The Wunder Library — complete classics, free to read, with narration.