CHAPTER III.. _standing and Moving._

STANDING AND MOVING.

+Always move gently.+

You must never run up and down stairs, unless, perhaps, you can trip down very lightly; but no one can run up lightly enough. However lightly you may go down, it should never be fast enough to make it difficult to stop, or to make it possible for you to knock against anyone at a corner. Your step should never be heard, either on the stairs or elsewhere. Never rush in haste to the letter-box, or go anywhere, or for any purpose at more than a gentle pace. I do not mean that you may not move quickly, but it should always be as gently as a lady would move, if she were observed. I say “if she were observed,” because a lady has a right in her own house, to run up-stairs, or to a letter-box, sing across the hall, call to her husband up-stairs, and do many other things that she would not do in the house of another lady, or with strangers round her. You should remember that, as long as you are in service, you are always in the house of another, and have strangers round you, and should not think, therefore, that because your mistress chooses to let her voice or step be heard, you are at liberty to do the same: always move as gently, then, as the ladies do in the drawing-room. Avoid all kind of roughness and noisiness; remembering, as I said when speaking against loud talking, that by being careless in this matter, you make yourself as troublesome as a noisy child.

+Always stand still and keep your hands before you, or at your sides, when you are speaking or being spoken to.+

This is always a great trouble with a young girl on entering service. When speaking, or being spoken to, she does not know what to do with her hands, how to stand, or how to look. I shall make you laugh if I tell you some of the awkward things my girls have done with their hands, till I taught them better. I am sure, however, that if they were here, they would say you were welcome to laugh, and would join merrily with you, so I will tell you a few. Mary used always to put her arms akimbo, as she stood still to talk or listen: when I told her not to do this, she grew more awkward, thinking she was observed, and, directly I began to speak to her, would pin her cap on. I, out of consideration for her distress, did not notice this for some time, hoping she would soon leave it off; but finding that the habit rather increased than diminished, pity for her caps made me speak once more, and I told her to keep her hands quietly before her. This only made her tie and untie her apron strings, till, after being told once or twice more, she at last learned to stand still.

Lucy used to fold her hands behind her, or stick one in her side and rub her nose with the other; but she is a sensible girl, and on being once told to keep her hands quietly in front of her, learned to do so.

Anna, a very awkward girl, used to scratch her head; and it proved how completely these things came from mere awkwardness and habit, that in every case these girls could stand quietly enough when talking to a child or friend: it was only in speaking to some one of superior station that these signs of uneasiness showed themselves, and then they were sure to appear.

I felt very much for these poor girls, because when I had once told them not to do these things with their hands, they were all the more awkward. Had they begun by standing still, I should never have thought of observing them; but having once called my attention to their positions, they knew they were looked at, and therefore felt miserable, till they at last learned to stand quietly, and so became sensible that they no longer attracted attention.

Now you, by profiting from their experience, may avoid all their trouble and awkwardness. If you begin by standing quietly, and holding your hands before you, or at your side, or one before you and one at your side, or, when answering the bell, one on the door-handle, there will be nothing to call attention to your position, and you will escape being scrutinized.

It is common to tell servants to meet the eye of their mistress, and look in her face while speaking to, or being spoken to by, her; but it is better not to stare the whole time in a lady’s face, but to look down occasionally, and look up on answering, or from time to time; indeed, to do what seems natural, which a continual stare does not.

On answering the bell, you should generally shut the door, and stand close to it while receiving your order. If no one notices you, stand till your mistress looks round. If she is alone, or not talking, you may say, “Did you ring, ma’am?” but if she is talking, you must wait, be it ever so long, till she has done. It is not likely, however, that you will ever have to wait more than a minute or two, as some one in the room will be sure to see you, if the mistress does not, and to call her attention to you.

There are some cases where it is better to walk up to your mistress’ side, as when she is making tea in a room full of company, or at any other time when you feel that she would not like to speak across the room, or when you have something to say which it is better to say in a low voice. Your own sense must guide you in this.

Sometimes you may be doing something by your mistress’ side, giving her a light, for example, to seal a letter, and she may say to you, “Wait a few moments, and you shall take this.” In such a case you should walk to the door and stand there: but this need not be done unless you will have to wait some moments, as in giving a baby to say “Good night” to its parents, or waiting for a letter to be directed and sealed. In giving a teapot for tea to be put in, or anything else that will only occupy the time that you would take in walking to the door and back again, it is better to stand by the side of the person on whom you are waiting. This is another matter in which you must exercise your own judgment. Even the size of the room makes some difference in the cases where it is proper to go to the door.

If, while you are walking to or from the door, anyone should speak to you, stand still, wherever you may be, turn your face round to the speaker, and remain in the same place till the speaking is over. I mention this, because I have seen Lucy walk backwards to the door by degrees, if I chanced to address her as she was on her way there. This is not only unnecessary, but it has an awkward effect.

If you join with the family in prayer, always sit close by the side of the door, or if the furniture is so placed as not to allow of this, go as near as you can to the door. Where there are more servants than one, it is usual for the youngest to sit nearest to the door, the next eldest, or next in position after her, and so on, the upper servant sitting furthest from the door: sometimes two servants sit one on each side of the door.

If a kind master or mistress should say, on a cold night, “Come further up, Mary; do not sit just in the draught of the door;” still be careful not to seem to join the family, but go only a little higher. Never draw your chair away from the wall.

The same may be said of any occasion upon which you may enter a lady’s room; as taking a child to see a friend of the family, visiting an old mistress, &c. Excepting in the case of family prayer, you would, however, of course stand up on the entrance of the lady, and sit only at her bidding: and even at prayers, you should not sit at once, unless the ladies and gentlemen are seated when you enter, but stand before your chair till all are seated, and then sit unbidden.

+Always stand up when a lady or gentleman comes into the room in which you are.+

This rule has, however, some exceptions. If you are at work, and your mistress comes in merely to fetch something, without noticing you, it is scarcely necessary to rise, though were she to have strangers with her it would be well to do so, and to remain standing till they went out, or bid you be seated.

If your mistress comes in, alone or not, and speaks to you, always get up, and stand till she has done speaking: you may then sit down, but not, remember, till she has done speaking to you. I am supposing that, having done speaking, she stays in the room to speak to somebody else, or to do something after having done speaking to you. Should she speak to you again, it is civil to rise again on answering; but there is no need to do this if she speaks again without turning her head to look at you. Should your mistress seldom visit your rooms, I would advise you to rise each time, on her speaking to you, or to stand all the while she is in the room; but if you are one of only two servants, or an only servant, so that your mistress is often in your rooms, she will not expect you to do more than rise on her entering, and stand till she has done speaking the first time, and then sit, without rising again.

If you are kneeling down to clean a stove, or sweep, and your mistress comes to speak to you, it will generally be enough to leave off working and rise half up, on your knees. A mistress who is thrown with you often will not expect more, as getting up, and leaving off your work, would be too great a hindrance: you should, however, do this to a visitor in the house, or to your mistress entering with strangers.

A nurserymaid, whose mistress is much in the nursery with her, will of course rise, and give up her chair to her mistress, or place one for her; but she may then sit down again unbidden, at a respectful distance, not on the opposite side of the fire, or at the same table. If her mistress enters the nursery, and begins at once to play, standing, with the children, or goes to a cupboard or the window, so not needing a chair, the nurse may sit still: but should she be occupying the chief seat in the room, which she may always do in her mistress’ absence, she must be sure to give it up at the slightest sign of the lady’s intending to remain and sit down.

It is difficult to give precise rules about this matter of rising and standing, as every lady may differ slightly in her ideas of what is right. These are the rules I like to have observed in my house, and I think any servant practising them will give satisfaction; as most ladies care only to see in their servants the desire to show respect, without troubling themselves to notice every little particular.

I suppose few girls need to be warned against sitting unbidden, in the presence of a lady or gentleman, in any room in which they are not accustomed to sit. Yet I know some girls do need it, for I remember two instances of servants who have sat down in my presence unbidden.

Rose came in once, tired from a walk. I was sitting under a veranda, and she sank down on a chair beside me, as she gave her message. Had this happened in her own kitchen it would have been improper, but it was even more so in a place more distinctly belonging to me.

Again: I was once in the nursery bedroom when Anna came in, panting, with a can of water. As I spoke to her, she sank down on a chair, saying, “Excuse me, ma’am, I am so tired.” But I could not excuse either her or Rose. Both acted very rudely. It would have been but a small effort to stand for a few moments, however tired they might be; and girls who are not capable of such an effort are not fit for service. Supposing a case of real exhaustion were to occur, or faintness, that allowed time for doing so, a girl should ask permission before sitting, and not beg pardon after. Sudden illness would, of course, excuse sitting suddenly; but I am not now talking of that, and without that there is not likely to be a case where a girl need ask leave to sit down in the presence of her mistress.

Should you ever be required to walk with a lady or gentleman, to carry a baby or a parcel, always keep a few paces behind.

When you open the street-door, do not stand behind it, so that the person at the door has to come quite in before seeing you.

In meeting a lady or gentleman on the stairs, if you are but a step or two up, go back and stand on the landing to give room. If you are too far up for this, stand on one side. Always remember, in meeting, to retire and make way, or to stand aside.

In entering a room to deliver a message, or speak to your mistress, observe the same rule as in answering the bell. In most cases it will be right to shut the door and stand beside it; but when other people are present, and the message is intended only for the lady, go up to her side and speak. Here you must judge for yourself.

There are many other directions that I might give you under this head of “Standing and Moving;” but I think, if you study and practise all that I have given, you will find the others come naturally, and you will shortly become a pleasing and graceful girl, such as ladies will like to see and to have about them in their houses.