Part 11

CURE HEADACHE, Dullness and Depression, Want of Appetite, &c., by relieving the overloaded Stomach and Bowels, and producing a healthy flow of bile, stimulating the secretions and restoring the clogged up system to healthful activity.

IF YOU ARE BILIOUS, tongue coated, bad breath, head hot, dull or aching, stomach heavy or sour, if bowels inactive and passages hard and occasional looseness, if your sleep is broken (tossing about in bed), if you get up unrefreshed, if your skin is sallow, eyes yellow, if heavy, dull pains in back and limbs, if you are drowsy, indisposed to talk or act, if any one or more of these symptoms, take a dose of WELLS’ MAY APPLE PILLS, and follow it up with WELLS’ HEALTH RENEWER, the greatest tonic on the face of the globe. Pills, 25 cents. Renewer, $1.00.

Of all the organs the Liver is most commonly out of sorts, and when it is so everything else goes wrong. The Liver is the great regulator.

The coppery taste in the mouth, the greasy feeling about the throat and stomach, the sour stomach, the bilious feeling in general, radically relieved by these pills. Safe in any weather or climate, always effective. They search every corner of Liver, Stomach and Bowels. If you want a thorough Pill, use them. 25 cents per box. Then invigorate and tone up the system with WELLS’ HEALTH RENEWER. $1.00 at Druggists.

* * * * *

68. Avoid whate’er your spirit vexes-- Despise “old women” of both sexes.

69. Smiles and tears--hopes and fears, The rainbow hues of early years!

70. Sweet and bright as the month of May, Your life shall seem a holiday.

71. You once extolled the “Age of Reason”-- Your mind will change this very season.

72. You prized too much, as you’ll confess, A life of single blessedness.

73. You’ll break the heartless law of fashion, And own at last the tender passion.

74. Like Oscar, and his crew, You are “too utterly too too.”

* * * * *

“A NIBBLE.”--GLEN ISLAND.]

* * * * *

The story is told of a New Bedford clergyman, now dead, who was asked by an Irishman to marry him. “Why, Pat,” said the clergyman, “what have you come to me for? Why don’t you go to the Catholic priest?” “I’ve been to him, yer honor,” said Pat, “and he told me to go to the devil, and I’ve come.”

They are shipping apples from Grand Rapids to Rotterdam, Holland. They pack them so that they won’t Rotterdam bit on the way.

A Kentucky judge has decided that a man has no right to harness his wife to a plow, no, not even with a mule. And yet women complain that they have no rights.

* * * * *

MRS. HASH--“True! I did agree to board you for ten dollars a week, but I didn’t know you were going to take ‘WELLS’ HEALTH RENEWER’ before every meal.”

“Well, madame, if you will purchase a box of ‘ROUGH ON RATS’ and clear out all the rats, mice, flies, mosquitoes, roaches and bedbugs I will pay two dollars per week extra--but I can’t think, for a moment, of giving up the ‘RENEWER.’”]

* * * * *

75. Your sole recreation-- To cause a sensation!

76. Your photo-book will change this year, And former fav’rites disappear.

77. To keep single, you’ll contrive, Up to prudent twenty-five.

78. Your destiny is hard to fix, Bitter and sweet so freely mix.

79. Love requited--vows well plighted! Hearts and hands for aye united!

80. This year a treasure you’ll discover-- A brownstone house and brimstone lover.