Part 36

What were the slaves and servants of the King called in England? “Serfs, vassals, and vaselines.”

DIVINITY.

Parable.--“A heavenly story with no earthly meaning.”

“Esau was a man who wrote fables, and who sold the copyright to a publisher for a bottle of potash.”

What is Divine right? “The liberty to do what you like in church.”

What is a Papal bull? “A sort of cow, only larger, and does not give milk.”

“Titus was a Roman Emperor, supposed to have written the Epistle to the Hebrews. His other name was Oates.”

Explain the difference between the religious belief of the Jews and Samaritans? “The Jews believed in the synagogue, and had their Sunday on a Saturday; but the Samaritans believed in the Church of England and worshipped in groves of oak; therefore the Jews had no dealings with the Samaritans.”

Give two instances in the Bible where an animal spoke? “(1) Balaam’s ass. (2) When the whale said unto Jonah, ‘Almost thou persuadest me to be a Christian.’”

MATHEMATICS.

A Problem.--“Something you can’t find out.”

Hypotenuse.--“A certain thing is given to you, or it means let it be granted that such and such a thing is equal or unequal to something else.”

“If there are no units in a number you have to fill it up with all zeros.”

“Units of any order are expressed by writing in the place of the order.”

“A factor is sometimes a faction.”

“If fractions have a common denominator, find the difference in the denominator.”

“Interest on interest is confound interest.”

GRAMMAR.

“Grammar is the way you speak in 9 different parts of speech; it is an art divided in 4 quarters--tortology is one, and sintax one more.”

An Abstract Noun.--“Something you can think of, but not touch--a red-hot poker.”

An Article.--“That wich begins words and sentences.”

A Pronoun “is when you don’t want to say a noun, and so you say a pronoun.”

“A Adjective is the colour of a noun, a black dog is a adjective.”

“Adjectives of more than one syllable are repaired by adding some more syllables.”

“Nouns are the names of everything that is common and has a proper name.”

Verb.--“To go for a swim is a verb what you do.”

“Adverbs are verbs that end with a lie and distinguish words. It is used to mortify a noun, and is a person, place, or thing, sometimes it is turned into a noun and then becomes a noun or pronoun.”

“Preposition means when you say anything of anything.”