Part 30

To common apprehension it would seem that well kept books would only help to show a reckless trader the ruinous result of his proceedings, and that while the man without books might flatter himself that all would come out right at last, the man with exact accounts would only get into hot water with his eyes open. If a man may trade on the capital of others without any of his own, and get excused on the ground that he has kept his books correctly, it is difficult to see why a thief who steals purses, &c., may not plead in mitigation of punishment that he has carefully booked the whole of his transactions.

It would be interesting to know the effect of producing a ledger on a trial for felony, as well as curious to observe whether a burglar would be leniently dealt with on the ground that his house-breaking accounts gave proof of his experience in the science of “double-entry.”

Therefore it would be well for those interested to procure copies of “RE ACCOUNTS” and “ADVANCED THOUGHT ON ACCOUNTS.”

THE FIRM HE REPRESENTED.

A commercial traveller handed a merchant upon whom he had called a portrait of his sweetheart in mistake for his business card, saying that he represented that establishment. The merchant examined it carefully, remarked that it was a fine establishment, and returned it to the astonished and blushing traveller with the hope that he would soon be admitted into partnership.

180. A man and a boy being paid for certain days’ work, the man received 27s., and the boy, who had been absent 3 days out of the time, received 12s. Had the man, instead of the boy, been absent the 3 days they would both have claimed an equal sum. Find out the wages of each per day.

181. The extremes of an arithmetical series are 21 and 497, and the number of terms is 41. What is the common difference?

182. A wine which contains 7½ per cent. of spirit is frozen, and the ice which contains no spirit being removed the proportion of spirit in the wine is increased by 8¾ per cent. How much water in the shape of ice was removed from 504 gallons of the mixture?

THE SHARP SELECTOR.

183. A selector rented a farm, and agreed to give his landlord two-fifths of the produce, but prior to the time of dividing the corn the selector used 45 bushels. When the general division was made it was proposed to give to the landlord 18 bushels from the heap in lieu of the share of the 45 bushels which the tenant had used, and then to begin and divide the remainder as though none had been used. Would this method have been correct?

A GOOD “AD.”

A member of a certain firm appeared in a law court with a complaint that his partner would sell goods at less than cost price, and he desired to have him restrained. The defendant utterly denied the charge, and the case was adjourned for a fortnight. As the plaintiff went out of court he exclaimed in a tragic tone: “Then the sacrifice must still go on!” and “I’ll be ruined!” The story was noised abroad, and the result was that the shop was besieged by customers every day. There the case ended, for at the end of the fortnight the plaintiff failed to appear in court, having accomplished his purpose--advertisement.

184. I give 3 sovereigns for 2 dozen wine at different rates per dozen, and by selling the cheaper kind at a profit of 15 per cent. and the dearer at a loss of 8 per cent. I obtain a uniform price for both. What did each dozen cost me?

185. I have in my garden a shrub that grows 12 inches every day, but during the night it withers off to half the height that it was at the end of the previous day. How much short of 2 feet will it be at the end of a year?

TIT-FOR-TAT.

186. A farmer puts a 3 lb. stone in a keg of butter worth 11d. a pound. The merchant cheats him out of 1 lb. on the weight, and then does him out of 1s. 11d. on calico, tobacco, and a shovel. Who is ahead, and how much?

187. Trains leave London and Edinburgh (400 miles apart) at the same time and meet after 5 hours; the train which leaves London travels 8 miles an hour faster than that which leaves Edinburgh. At what rate did the former travel, and at what speed must the latter travel after they have met, in order that they both may reach their destinations at the same time?

“GOOD ENOUGH!”

“Will you give me a glass of beer, please?” asked a rather seedy-looking fellow with an old but well-brushed coat and almost too shiny a hat. It was produced by the barmaid, frothing over the edge of the tumbler.

“Thank you,” said the recipient, as he placed it to his lips. Having finished it in a swallow, he smacked his lips and said, “That is very good beer--very! Whose is it?”

“Why, that Perkins’s----”

“Ah! Perkins’s, is it! Well, give us another glass.”

It was done; and holding it up to the light and looking through it, the connoisseur said:--

“’Pon my word, it is grand beer--clear as Madeira! What a fine color! I must have some more of that; give me another glass.”

The glass was filled again, but before putting it to his lips the imbiber said:--

“Whose beer did you say this was?”

“Perkins’s,” emphatically replied the barmaid.

The contents of the glass was exhausted, as also the vocabulary of praise, and it only remained for the appreciative gentleman to say, as he wiped his mouth and went towards the door:--