The 'mind the Paint' Girl

Part 1

Produced by Louise Hope, Branko Collin and the Online Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net

The HTML version of this e-text includes the third-act song ("If you would only, only love me") in three forms: raw lilypond (.ly extension, can be converted to other formats), .pdf (image), and MIDI file. Some sites will allow you to download these files individually; if so, look in the "files" directory associated with the HTML text.

The published play did not include music for the title song ("Mind the Paint"), sung in Act I.

Errors are listed at the end of the e-text.]

THE "MIND THE PAINT" GIRL

The Plays of Arthur W. Pinero

Paper cover, 1s 6d; cloth, 2s 6d each

THE TIMES THE PROFLIGATE THE CABINET MINISTER THE HOBBY-HORSE LADY BOUNTIFUL THE MAGISTRATE DANDY DICK SWEET LAVENDER THE SCHOOLMISTRESS THE WEAKER SEX THE AMAZONS * THE SECOND MRS. TANQUERAY THE NOTORIOUS MRS. EBBSMITH THE BENEFIT OF THE DOUBT THE PRINCESS AND THE BUTTERFLY TRELAWNY OF THE "WELLS" + THE GAY LORD QUEX IRIS LETTY A WIFE WITHOUT A SMILE HIS HOUSE IN ORDER THE THUNDERBOLT MID-CHANNEL PRESERVING MR. PANMURE THE "MIND THE PAINT" GIRL

* This Play can be had in library form, 4to, cloth, with a portrait, 5s.

+ A Limited Edition of this play on hand-made paper, with a new portrait, 10s net.

THE PINERO BIRTHDAY BOOK Selected and Arranged by MYRA HAMILTON With a Portrait, cloth extra, price 2s 6d.

London: William Heinemann

THE

"MIND THE PAINT"

GIRL

A COMEDY In Four Acts By ARTHUR PINERO

London: William Heinemann MCMXIII

Copyright 1912 by Arthur Pinero

This play was produced in London, at the Duke of York's Theatre, on Saturday, February 17, 1912; in New York, at the New Lyceum Theatre, on Monday, September 9, 1912; and in Germany, at the Stadttheater in Mainz, on Monday, January 13, 1913

The Persons of the Play

VISCOUNT FARNCOMBE COLONEL THE HON. ARTHUR STIDULPH BARON VON RETTENMAYER CAPTAIN NICHOLAS JEYES LIONEL ROPER SAM DE CASTRO HERBERT FULKERSON STEWART HENEAGE GERALD GRIMWOOD CARLTON SMYTHE (Manager of the Pandora Theatre) DOUGLAS GLYNN, ALBERT PALK, } WILFRID TAVISH, and } (Actors at the Pandora) SIGISMUND SHIRLEY } VINCENT BLAND (A Musical Composer, attached to the Pandora) MORRIS COOLING (Business Manager at the Pandora) LUIGI (Maitre d'hotel at Catani's Restaurant) WAITERS

THE HON. MRS. ARTHUR STIDULPH (Formerly, as Dolly Ensor, of the Pandora Theatre) LILY PARRADELL } JIMMIE BIRCH } GABRIELLE KATO } ENID MONCRIEFF } DAPHNE DURE } (Of the Pandora) NITA TREVENNA } FLO CONNIFY } SYBIL DERMOTT } OLGA COOK } EVANGELINE VENTRIS } MRS. UPJOHN (LILY PARRADELL's mother) GLADYS (LILY's parlourmaid) MAUD (LILY's maid)

The action of the piece takes place in London-- at LILY PARRADELL'S house in Bloomsbury, in the foyer of the Pandora Theatre, and again at LILY'S house.

The curtain will be lowered for a few moments in the course of the Second Act.

The following advertisements are to appear conspicuously in the programme.

MIND THE PAINT (the complete song), words by D'Arcy Wingate, music by Vincent Bland, as originally sung by Miss LILY PARRADELL at the Pandora Theatre in the Musical Play of "THE DUCHESS OF BRIXTON," may be obtained from Messrs. Church and Co. (Ltd.), Music Publishers, 181 New Bond Street.

AFTER THE THEATRE. CATANI'S RESTAURANT, 459 Strand. Best cuisine in London. Milanese Band. Private Rooms. Urbano Catani, Sole Proprietor. Tel.: 10,337 Gerrard.

THE "MIND THE PAINT" GIRL

Part 2

THE FIRST ACT

The scene is a drawing-room, prettily but somewhat showily decorated. The walls are papered with a design representing large clusters of white and purple lilac. The furniture is covered with a chintz of similar pattern, and the curtains, carpet, and lamp-shades correspond.

In the wall facing the spectator are two windows, and midway between the windows there is the entrance to a conservatory. The conservatory, which is seen beyond, is of the kind that is built out over the portico of a front-door, and is plentifully stocked with flowers and hung with a velarium and green sun-blinds. In the right-hand wall there is another window and, nearer the spectator, a console-table supporting a high mirror; and in the wall on the left, opposite the console-table, there is a double-door opening into the room, the further half of which only is used.

In the entrance to the conservatory, to the right, there is a low, oblong tea-table at which are placed three small chairs; and near-by, on the left, are a grand-piano and a music-stool. Against the piano there is a settee, and on the extreme left, below the door, there is an arm-chair with a little round table beside it. At the right-hand window in the wall at the back is another settee, and facing this window and settee there is a smaller arm-chair.

Not far from the fire-place there is a writing-table with a telephone-instrument upon it. A chair stands at the writing-table, its back to the window in the wall on the right; and in front of the table, opposing the settee by the piano, there is a third settee. On the left of this settee, almost in the middle of the room, is an arm-chair; and closer to the settee, on its right, are two more arm-chairs. Other articles of furniture-- a cabinet, "occasional" chairs, etc., etc.-- occupy spaces against the walls.

On the piano, on the console-table and cabinet, on the settee at the back, on the round table, and upon the floor, stand huge baskets of flowers, and other handsome floral devices in various forms, with cards attached to them; and lying higgledy-piggledy upon the writing-table are a heap of small packages, several little cases containing jewellery, and a litter of paper and string. The packages and the cases of jewellery are also accompanied by cards or letters.

A fierce sunlight streams down upon the velarium, and through the green blinds, in the conservatory.

ROPER.

FARNCOMBE.

How are you, Roper?

GLADYS.

ROPER.

Ta. [GLADYS withdraws.] Phew, it's hot!

FARNCOMBE.

Miss Parradell's out.

ROPER.

FARNCOMBE.

I've brought her a few flowers.

ROPER.

Have you? I've sent her a trifle of jewellery.

FARNCOMBE.

ROPER.

FARNCOMBE.

ROPER.

Exactly; but I'm an old friend, you know. [Turning to FARNCOMBE.] Perhaps, by her next birthday----

FARNCOMBE.

ROPER.

FARNCOMBE.

Part 3

I-- I shall be at the theatre.

ROPER.

Oh, we shall all be at the theatre, to shout Many Happy Returns. Later, I mean.

FARNCOMBE.

Nothing that I can't get out of.

ROPER.

Good. Look here. Smythe is giving her a bit of supper in the foyer after the show, a dance on the stage to follow. About five-and-twenty people. 'Ull you come?

FARNCOMBE.

If Mr. Smythe is kind enough to ask me----

ROPER.

He does ask you, through me. He's left all the arrangements to me and Morrie Cooling. Carlton never did anything in his life; I egged him on to this. I've been sweating at it since eleven o'clock this morning. Haven't been near the City; not near it. Well?

FARNCOMBE.

ROPER.

Splendid. Been trying to get on to you all day. I've called twice at your club and at St. James's Place.

FARNCOMBE.

Sorry you've had so much trouble.

ROPER.

FARNCOMBE.

I-- I should like to.

ROPER.

Because if Jeyes should happen to drop in while you're here----

FARNCOMBE.

Captain Jeyes?

ROPER.

Nicko Jeyes-- or if you knock up against him to-night at the theatre-- mum about this.

FARNCOMBE.

About the supper?

ROPER.

Part 4

FARNCOMBE.

He strikes me as being rather a surly, ill-conditioned person.

ROPER.

A regular loafer.

FARNCOMBE.

He appears to live at Catani's. I never go there without meeting him.

ROPER.

Exactly. Catani's and a top, back bedroom in Jermyn Street, and hanging about the Pandora; that's Nicko Jeyes's life.

FARNCOMBE.

He's an old friend of Mrs. Upjohn's and Miss Parradell's too, isn't he?

ROPER.

FARNCOMBE.

ROPER.

Oh, but I'm a real friend. I've always been a patron of the musical drama-- it's my fad; and I've kept an eye on Lily from the moment she sprang into prominence-- [singing] "Mind the paint! Mind the paint!" --looked after her like a father. Uncle Lal she calls me. [Reassuringly.] I'm a married man, you know; [FARNCOMBE nods] but the wife has plenty to occupy her with the kids and she leaves the drama to me. She prefers Bexhill. [Leaning forward and speaking with great earnestness.] Farncombe, what a charming creature!

FARNCOMBE.

ROPER.

No, no, no; Lily. [Hastily.] Oh, and so's my missus, for that matter, when she chooses. But Lily Upjohn----!

FARNCOMBE.

ROPER.

Yes, and as good as she's beautiful; you take it from me. [With a wave of the hand.] Well, if you see Jeyes, you won't----?

FARNCOMBE.

Not a word.

ROPER.

FARNCOMBE.

Conspiracy?

ROPER.

To shunt Nicko. We're letting her think there are to be no outsiders.

FARNCOMBE.

Part 5

ROPER.

MRS. UPJOHN.

ROPER.

Lord Farncombe----

MRS. UPJOHN.

FARNCOMBE.

Last week.

MRS. UPJOHN.

Of course; you came with Mr. Bertie Fulkerson. But somebody or other's always poppin' in. [Pleasantly.] Lil sees too many, I say. It's tirin' for 'er. Won't you set?

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