Part 32

HERACLES I have already told you that I want to strangle the fellow who has dared to block us in.

POSIDON But, my friend, we are envoys of peace.

HERACLES All the more reason why I wish to strangle him.

PISTHETAERUS Hand me the cheese-grater; bring me the silphium for sauce; pass me the cheese and watch the coals.(1)

f(1) He is addressing his servant, Manes.

HERACLES Mortal! we who greet you are three gods.

PISTHETAERUS Wait a bit till I have prepared my silphium pickle.

HERACLES What are these meats?(1)

f(1) Heracles softens at sight of the food.--Heracles is the glutton of the comic poets.

PISTHETAERUS These are birds that have been punished with death for attacking the people's friends.

HERACLES And you are seasoning them before answering us?

PISTHETAERUS Ah! Heracles! welcome, welcome! What's the matter?(1)

f(1) He pretends not to have seen them at first, being so much engaged with his cookery.

HERACLES The gods have sent us here as ambassadors to treat for peace.

A SERVANT There's no more oil in the flask.

PISTHETAERUS And yet the birds must be thoroughly basted with it.(1)

f(1) He pretends to forget the presence of the ambassadors.

HERACLES We have no interest to serve in fighting you; as for you, be friends and we promise that you shall always have rain-water in your pools and the warmest of warm weather. So far as these points go we are armed with plenary authority.

PISTHETAERUS We have never been the aggressors, and even now we are as well disposed for peace as yourselves, provided you agree to one equitable condition, namely, that Zeus yield his sceptre to the birds. If only this is agreed to, I invite the ambassadors to dinner.

HERACLES That's good enough for me. I vote for peace.

POSIDON You wretch! you are nothing but a fool and a glutton. Do you want to dethrone your own father?

PISTHETAERUS What an error! Why, the gods will be much more powerful if the birds govern the earth. At present the mortals are hidden beneath the clouds, escape your observation, and commit perjury in your name; but if you had the birds for your allies, and a man, after having sworn by the crow and Zeus, should fail to keep his oath, the crow would dive down upon him unawares and pluck out his eye.

POSIDON Well thought of, by Posidon!(1)

f(1) Posidon jestingly swears by himself.

HERACLES My notion too.

PISTHETAERUS (TO THE TRIBALLIAN) And you, what's your opinion?

TRIBALLUS Nabaisatreu.(1)

f(1) The barbarian god utters some gibberish which Pisthetaerus interprets into consent.