Part 5

Keep from picking your nose, your teeth, your nails at meal-time—so we are taught.

Advise you against taking so muckle meat into your mouth but that ye may right well answer when men speak to you.

When ye shall drink, wipe your mouth clean with a cloth, and your hands also, so that you shall not in any way soil the cup, for then shall none of your companions be loth to drink with you.

Likewise, do not touch the salt in the salt-cellar with any meat; but lay salt honestly on your trencher, for that is courtesy.

Do not carry your knife to your mouth with food, or hold the meat with your hands in any wise; and also if divers good meats are brought to you, look that with all courtesy ye assay of each; and if your dish be taken away with its meat and another brought, courtesy demands that ye shall let it go and not ask for it back again.

And if strangers be set at table with you, and savoury meat be brought or sent to you, make them good cheer with part of it, for certainly it is not polite when others be present at meat with you, to keep all that is brought you, and like churls vouchsafe nothing to others.

Do not cut your meat like field-men who have such an appetite that they reck not in what wise, where or when or how ungoodly they hack at their meat; but, sweet children, have always your delight in courtesy and in gentleness, and eschew boisterousness with all your might.

When cheese is brought, have a clean trencher, on which with a clean knife ye may cut it; and in your feeding look ye appear goodly, and keep your tongue from jangling, for so indeed shall ye deserve a name for gentleness and good governance, and always advance yourself in virtue.

When the end of the meal is come, clean your knives, and look you put them up where they ought to be, and keep your seat until you have washed, for so wills honesty.

When ye have done, look then that ye rise up without laughter or joking or boisterous word, and go to your lord’s table, and there stand, and pass not from him until grace be said and brought to an end.

Then some of you should go for water, some hold the cloth, some pour upon his hands.

Other things I might commend you to do, but as my time is brief, I put them not into this little report; but overpass them, praying with a spirit that rejoices in this labour, that no man abuse me; but where too little is, let him add more, and where too much, let him take away, for though I would, time forbids that I say more. Therefore I take my leave, and inscribe this book to every wight whom it may please to correct it.

And, sweet children, for love of whom I write, I beseech you, with very loving heart, that you set your delight upon knowing this book; and may Almighty God that suffered bitter pains, make you so expert in courtesy that through your nurture and your governance you may advance yourselves to lasting bliss.

THE A B C OF ARISTOTLE

WHOSO wills to be wise and worship desires, Learn he one letter and look on another, Of the A B C of Aristotle. Argue not against that. It is counsel for right many clerks and knights a thousand, And eke it might amend a man, full oft, For to learn lore of one letter, and his life save; For too much of any thing was never wholesome. Read oft on this roll, and rule thee thereafter. Whoso be grieved in his ghost, govern him better; Blame he not the bairn that this A B C made, But wite he his wicked will and his work after. It shall never grieve a good man, though the guilty be mended, Now hearken and hear how I begin.

Be not— A too Amorous, too Adventurous, nor Argue too much. B too Bold, too Busy, nor Babble too long. C too Courteous, too Cruel, nor Care too sorely. D too Dull, too Dreading, nor Drink too oft. E too Elenge, too Excellent, nor too Earnest neither. F too Fierce, too Familiar, but Friendly of cheer. G too Glad, too (vain-)Glorious, and Gelousy thou hate. H too Hasty, too Hare-brained, nor too Heavy in thy Heart. J too Jetting, too Jangling, nor Jape not too oft. K too Kind, too Keeping, and beware of Knaves’ tricks. L too Loth, too Loving, nor too Liberal of goods. M too Meddling, too Merry, but as Measure asketh. N too (an-)Noying, too Nice, nor too New-fangled either. O too Overbold, too Overthwart, and hate thou Oaths. P too Praising, too Privy with Princes or dukes. Q too Quaint, too Querulous, and Queme thy master. R too Riotous, too Revelling, nor Rage too Rudely. S too Strange, too Stirring, nor Stare too strangely. T too Toiling, too Tale-bearing, for Temperance is best. V too Vengeful, too Envious, and (a-)Void all Villainy. W too Wild, too Wrathful, nor Waste, nor Wade too deep. For a Measurable Mean is best for us all. Learn this or go Lacking.

URBANITATIS

WHOSO will of nurture know, Hark to me and I will show. When you come before a lord, In hall, in bower, or at board, You must doff or cap or hood, Ere before him you have stood. Twice or thrice beyond a doubt, Before your sovereign must you lout; On the right knee bend you low; For your own sake do ye so. Hold your cap, forbear to don, Till you’re told to put it on. All the while you speak with him, Fair and lovely hold up your chin. As bids the nurture of the book, In his face straight shall you look. Keep your hands still and your feet; To claw or trip it is not meet.

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When into the hall you wend, Among the gentles, good and hend Press not up high for any thing, For noble blood or wit cunning. Neither sit ye, neither lean, For this is neither good nor clean. Let not your countenance abate, For good nurture will save your state. If father, mother be right naught, Happy the child that is well taught. In hall, in chamber, mind you then: Good manners always make good men. Look wisely to your betters ay, Do them reverence as you may; But do ye none, sit all in row, Unless ye them for betters know. When you are set before the meat, Fair and honestly it eat. First, look ye that your hands be clean, And that your knife be sharp and keen; Then cut your bread and all your meat, Even when you set to eat. If you sit by a worthier man Than ye yourself well reckon can, Suffer him first and do not let That he before you meat should get. For the best piece do not strike Though you never so well it like. Also keep your hands full well, Not to ’file the fair towél. Nor wipe your nose upon the cloth; To pick your teeth at meat be loth. Nor in the cup too deeply sink, Though ye have good will to drink, Lest your eyen water thereby; For then it is no courtesy. Look in your mouth there be no meat, When you begin to drink or speak. And when you see a man would drink, Who heeds your carping, you bethink, And soon anon make end your tale, Whether he drink wine or ale. And look, ye scorn no man also, In what degree ye see him go. No man shall ye reprove or chide, If ye in worship would abide. For words ye might speak out apace— Should make you live in evil case. Close your hand upon your fist, And keep you well from “Had I wist—” In chamber among the ladies bright, Keep your tongue and spend your sight. Laugh not too loud with great outcry; Neither rage with ribaldry. Play with none but with your peer, And tell not all the tales you hear. Discover not your own deed, Neither for mirth, nor yet for meed. Gentle of speech—ye have your will; But foul of speech—ye fare full ill. If ye follow a worthier man, Than ye yourself well reckon can, Let your right shoulder follow his back, For that is nurture ye must not lack. When he speaks, then hold you still; When he has done, say then your will. Be careful what you say or tell, And in your speech advise you well. Bereave ye no man of his tale, Neither at wine nor at ale. Now may Christ of his sweet grace, Give us all both wit and space This [treatise] well to know and read, And Heaven at last to have for meed. Amen, Amen, so may it be. So say we all for charity!

Explicit Tractus Urbanitatis.

THE LITTLE CHILDREN’S LITTLE BOOK

LITTLE children, draw ye near And learn the courtesy written here; For clerks that well the Seven Arts know, Say Courtesy came to earth below, When Gabriel hailed Our Lady by name, And Elizabeth to Mary came. All virtues are closed in courtesy, And vices all in villainy. Look thy hands be washéd clean, That no filth on thy nails be seen. Take thou no meat till grace be said, And till thou see all things arrayed. Look, my son, that thou not sit, Till the ruler of the house thee bid. And at thy meat, in the beginning, Look on poor men that thou think; For the full stomach ever faileth To understand what the hungry aileth. Eat not thy meat too hastily; Abide and eat thou easily. Till thou have thy full service, Touch thou no mess in no wise. Carve thou not thy bread too thin, Nor break it not in twain. The morsels thou beginnest to touch Cast them not into thy pouch. Put not thy fingers in thy dish, Neither in flesh, neither in fish. Put not thy meat into the salt, Into the cellar, that is a fault; But lay it fairly thee before, Upon thy trencher, that is good lore. Pick not thine ears nor thy nostrils; If thou do, men will say thou come of churls. And while thy meat in thy mouth is, Drink thou not—forget not this. Eat thy meat by small morsels too, Fill not thy mouth, as brothels do. Pick not thy teeth with thy knife. In no company begin thou strife. And when thou hast thy pottage done, Out of thy dish thou put thy spoon. Nor spit thou not over the table, Nor thereupon—that is nothing able. Lay not thy elbow nor thy fist Upon the table whiles thou eat’st. Bulk not, as a bean were in thy throat, As a carl that comes out of a cot. If thy meat be of great price, Beware of it, or thou art not wise. Speak no word, nor still nor stark, And honour and courtesy look thou work. And at the table look thou make good cheer; Look thou whisper not in no man’s ear. With thy fingers thou touch and taste Thy meat, and look thou do no waste. Look thou laugh not neither grin; And with much speech thou may’st do sin. Meat nor drink look thou not spill, But set it down, both fair and still. Keep thy cloth clean thee beforn, And bear thee so thou have no scorn. Bite not thy meat, but carve it clean, Be well aware no drop be seen. When thou eatest gape not too wide, That thy mouth be seen on ilk a side. And son, beware, I rede, of one thing: Blow neither in thy meat nor in thy drink. And if thy lord drink at that tide, Drink thou not, but him abide; Be it at even, be it at noon, Drink thou not till he have done. Upon thy trencher no dirt must be; It is not honest as I tell thee. Nor drink behind no man’s back; For if thou do, thou art to lack. If cheese come forth, be not too greedy, Nor to cut thereof too speedy. Cast not thy bones unto the floor, But on thy trencher thee before. Keep clean thy cloth before thee all, And sit thou still, whatso befall, Till grace be said unto the end, And till thou have washen with thy friend. Let him that worthier is than thou art, Wash before thee; that is thy part. And spit thou not in thy basin My sweet son, that thou washest in. And arise then up, full soft and still, And jangle neither with Jack nor Jill. But take thy leave of the head lowly, And thank him with thine heart highly, And all the gentles together the same, And bare thee so thou have no blame. Then will men thereafter say: “A gentleman was here to-day.” And he that despiseth this teaching, He is not worthy, without leasing, Neither at good man’s table to sit, Nor of no worship for to wit. And therefore, children, for charity, Love this book though it little be, And pray for him that made it thus, That he may be helped by sweet Jesús, To live and die among his friends, And never to be cumbered with no fiends. And give us grace in joy to be, Amen, Amen, for charity! Explicit. Learn or be Lewd, quoth Whytyng.

Here endeth the Book of Courtesy that is full necessary unto young children that must needs learn the manner of courtesy.

THE YOUNG CHILDREN’S BOOK

WHOSO will thrive must be courteous, and learn the virtues in his youth, or in his age he is outcast among men. Clerks who know the Seven Sciences say that Courtesy came from heaven when Gabriel greeted our Lady and Elizabeth met with her; and in it are included all virtues, as all vices in rudeness.

Arise betimes from your bed, cross your breast and your forehead, wash your hands and face, comb your hair, and ask the grace of God to speed you in all your works; then go to Mass and ask mercy for all your trespasses. Say “Good morning” courteously to whomsoever you meet by the way.

When ye have done, break your fast with good meat and drink, but before eating cross your mouth, your diet will be the better for it. Then say your grace—it occupies but little time—and thank the Lord Jesus for your food and drink. Say also a Pater Noster and an Ave Maria for the souls that lie in pain, and then go labour as you are bound to do. Be not idle, for Holy Scripture says to you of Christian faith that if you work, you must eat what you get with your hands. A man’s arms are for working as a bird’s wings for flying.