Part 42

THREE days had scarcely passed: Aminta came, To pay a visit to our ancient dame; Cried she I fear, you have not seen as yet, This youth, who worse and worse appears to get. Rage, Mistress Alice, instantly o'erspread, And ev'ry thing that's vile she of him said.

NO sooner had Aminta gone away, But she for Cleon sent without delay. He presently appeared; yet to detail How Alice stormed, I certainly should fail; Unless an iron tongue I could obtain: All Hell was ransacked epithets to gain; And Lucifer and Beelzebub were used: No mortal ever was so much abused.

QUITE terrified, poor lad, he scarcely knew; Her fury was so great, what best to do; If he allowed that he had acted wrong, 'Twould wound his conscience and defile his tongue. He home repaired, and turning in his mind What he had heard, at length his thoughts inclined, To fancy that Aminta was disposed, To play some cunning trick, which, not disclosed, Would operate to bring her wish about; I see, said he, the scheme I should not doubt; It surely is my duty kind to be: Methinks I hear her freely say to me, O Cleon! show affection, I am yours; I love her too, for beauty that secures; And while her seraph charms my bosom fire; I equally the stratagem admire. Most freely howsoe'er I will confess, At first I was so dull, I could not guess At what she aimed, but now the object's plain: Aminta o'er my heart desires to reign.

THIS minute, if I durst, I'd thither go, And, full of confidence, declare my woe, The subtle flame that burns without controul; What hurt to paint feelings of my soul? From balance of accounts 'twill both exempt: 'Tis better far to love than show contempt. But should the husband find me in the house?-- Ne'er think of that, and try the hunks to chouse.

THEIR course had hardly run three other days, When fair Aminta, studious still of ways To have her wish, again to Alice came, To give dear Cleon notice of her flame. My home, cried she, 'tis requisite I leave: To ruin me, your cousin, I perceive, Is still resolved, for presents now he sends; But he mistakes, and blindly wealth expends; I'm clearly not the woman he suspects: See here, what jewels rare to please the sex! Nice rubies, diamonds too, but what is more, My portrait I have found among the store, Which must have been from memory designed, Since only with my husband that you'll find.

WHEN I arose, this person known to you, Whose name I must conceal (to honour true), Arrived and brought me what I just have shown; The whole should at your cousin's head be thrown; And were he present:--but I'll curb my rage; Allow me to proceed, and you engage To hear the rest:--he word has also sent, That as to-day he knew my husband went On business to his cottage in the wood, Where he would sleep the night, he understood, No sooner should the servants be in bed, And Morpheus' robe be o'er their senses spread, But to my dressing room he would repair:-- What can he hope, such project to declare? A meeting place indeed!--he must be mad; Were I not fearful 'twould affliction add To my old husband, I would set a watch, Who, at the entrance, should the villain catch; Or put him instantly to shame and flight; This said, she presently was out of sight.

AN hour had passed when Cleon came anew; The jewels at him in a moment flew; And scarcely Mistress Alice could refrain, From wreaking further vengeance on the swain. Is this your plan? cried she; but what is worse, I find you still desire a greater curse; And then she told him all Aminta said, When last to visit her the fair was led.

HIMSELF most fully warned the youth now thought; I loved, cried he, 'tis true; but that is naught, Since nothing from the belle I must expect: In future her completely I'll neglect. That is the line, said Alice, you should take; The lad howe'er was fully now awake, And thoroughly resolved to seek the dame, Whose cunning wiles had set him in a flame.

THE midnight hour the clock no sooner told; Than Cleon ran the myst'ry to unfold, And to the spot repaired, which he supposed, Aminta meant, from what had been disclosed; The place was well described, and there he found; Awaiting at the door, this belle renowned, Without attendants: sleep their eyes o'erspread: Behind thick clouds the very stars had fled: As all had been expected, in he went, Most thoroughly they both appeared content; Few words were used: in haste the pair withdrew, Where ev'ry wish at ease they might pursue. The smart gallant at once her beauty praised; His admiration presently was raised; Sweet kindness followed; charms were oft admired; And all was managed as their hearts desired.

SAID youthful Cleon, now you'll tell me why This stratagem you were induced to try? For such before in love was never seen; 'Tis excellent, and worthy Beauty's queen. A lovely blush o'erspread Aminta's face, And gave her lily-cheeks superior grace. He praised her person, artifice, and wit, And did whate'er the moments would admit.

THE CLYSTER

IF truth give pleasure, surely we should try; To found our tales on what we can rely; Th' experiment repeatedly I've made, And seen how much realities persuade: They draw attention: confidence awake; Fictitious names however we should take, And then the rest detail without disguise: 'Tis thus I mean to manage my supplies.

IT happened then near Mans, a Normand town, For sapient people always of renown, A maid not long ago a lover had Brisk, pleasing, ev'ry way a handsome lad; The down as yet was scarcely on his chin; The girl was such as many wished to win: Had charms and fortune, all that was desired, And by the Mansian sparks was much admired; Around they swarmed, but vain was all their art Too much our youth possessed the damsel's heart.

THE parents, in their wisdom, meant the fair Should marry one who was a wealthy heir; But she contrived to manage matters well; In spite of ev'ry thing which might repel, (I know not how) at length he had access; Though whether through indulgence or address, It matters not: perhaps his noble blood Might work a change when fully understood: The LUCKY, ev'ry thing contrives to please; The rest can nothing but misfortune seize.

THE lover had success; the parents thought His merit such as prudence would have sought; What more to wish?--the miser's hoarded store: The golden age's wealth is now no more, A silly shadow, phantom of the brain; O happy time! I see indeed with pain, Thou wilt return:--in MAINE thou shalt arise; Thy innocence, we fondly may surmise, Had seconded our lover's ardent flame, And hastened his possession of the dame.

THE slowness usually in parents found, Induced the girl, whose heart by LOVE was bound; To celebrate the Hymeneal scene, As in the statutes of Cythera's queen. Our legendary writers this define A present contract, where they nothing sign; The thing is common;--marriage made in haste: LOVE'S perparation: Hymen's bit for taste.

NOT much examination Cupid made, As parent, lawyer, priest, he lent his aid, And soon concluded matters as desired; The Mansian wisdom no ways was required.

OUR spark was satisfied, and with his belle, Passed nights so happy, nothing could excel; 'Twere easy to explain;--the double keys, And gifts designed the chambermaid to please, Made all secure, and ev'ry joy abound; The soft delights with secrecy were crowned.

IT happened that our fair one evening said, To her who of each infant step had led, But of the present secret nothing knew:-- I feel unwell; pray tell me what to do. The other answered, you my dear must take A remedy that easily I'll make, A clyster you shall have to-morrow morn: By me most willingly it will be borne.

WHEN midnight came the sly gallant appeared, Unluckily no doubt, but he revered The moments that so pleasantly were passed, Which always seemed, he thought, to glide too fast; Relief he sought, for ev'ry one below Is destined torments more or less to know. He not a word was told of things designed, And just as our gallant to sleep inclined, As oft's the case at length with lovers true, Quite open bright Aurora's portals flew, And with a smile the aged dame arrived; The apparatus properly contrived, Was in her hand, she hastened to the bed, And took the side that to the stripling led.

OUR lady fair was instantly confused, Or she precaution properly had used, 'Twas easy to have kept a steady face, And 'neath the clothes the other's head to place. Pass presently beyond the hidden swain, And t'other side with rapid motion gain, A thing quite natural, we should suppose; But fears o'erpow'red; the frightened damsel chose To hide herself, then whispered her gallant, What mighty terrors made her bosom pant. The youth was sage, and coolly undertook To offer for her:--t'other 'gan to look, With spectacles on nose: soon all went right; Adieu, she cried, and then withdrew from sight. Heav'n guard her steps, and all conduct away, Whose presence secret friendships would betray:

SHOULD this be thought a silly, idle tale; (And that opinion may perhaps prevail) To censure me, enough will surely try, For criticks are severe, and these will cry, Your lady like a simpleton escaped; Her character you better might have shaped; Which makes us doubt the truth of what is told: Naught in your prologue like it we behold.

'TWERE sueless to reply: 'twould endless prove: No arguments such censurers could move; On men like these, devoid of sense or taste, In vain might Cicero his rhet'rick waste. Sufficient 'tis for me, that what is here, I got from those who ev'ry-where appear The friends of truth:--let others say the same; What more would they expect should be my aim?

THE INDISCREET CONFESSIONS

FAMED Paris ne'er within its walls had got, Such magick charms as were Aminta's lot, Youth, beauty, temper, fortune, she possessed, And all that should a husband render blessed, The mother still retained her 'neath the wing; Her father's riches well might lovers bring; Whate'er his daughter wished, he would provide, Amusements, jewels, dress, and much beside.

BLITHE Damon for her having felt the dart, The belle received the offer of his heart; So well he managed and expressed his flame. That soon her lord and master he became, By Hymen's right divine, you may conceive, And nothing short of it you should believe.

A YEAR had passed, and still our charming pair, Were always pleased, and blisses seemed to share; (The honeymoon appeared but just began) And hopes were entertained to have a son, When Damon on the subject chanced to touch: In truth, said he, my soul is troubled much; There is a fact, my dear, to you I'll tell: I wish sincerely (since I love so well) That for another, I had never known Such fond affection as to you I've shown; And none but you had entered in my breast, So worthy ev'ry way to be caressed. I have howe'er experienced other flame; The fault's acknowledged: I confess my shame. 'Twas in a wood; the nymph was young and nice, And Cupid only near to give advice; So well he managed:--or so ill, you'll say; A little girl I've living at this day.

WHAT, cried Aminta, now to you I'll state; What happened once to be your spouse's fate; I was at home alone, to say the truth, When thither came by chance a sprightly youth. The lad was handsome, with engaging mien; I felt his worth:--my nature is serene; In short so many things were our employ, I've still upon my hands a little boy.