Part 43

Do be determined not to use profane expressions in the presence of ladies, children, or ministers, or anywhere else.

Do keep your lips from uttering coarse and unclean things that you would blush to have overheard by mother or sister. More than this, do not listen to them from the lips of others. A pure-minded boy will be a pure-minded man.

Do take care of your various belongings; do not expect mother or sisters to pick up your necktie, your gloves, your schoolbooks, your hat, from as many different places as there are articles, and put them properly away. It is quite as necessary for boys or men to have some neatness in their habits as for girls or women. Do learn to help yourself occasionally. It is quite possible that you should be able to arrange a necktie, comb your hair, or get the articles together for a fresh toilet without calling some one to your assistance. Quite possible and vastly convenient for other members of the household.

Do close the doors without slamming; don't tear the house down.

Do lower your voice sometimes; everyone is not deaf.

Do be neat in personal appearance; collars, handkerchiefs and cuffs, should be spotlessly clean, and hands and finger nails receive careful attention.

Do not fail to use three brushes every day--the tooth-brush, the clothes-brush and the blacking-brush.

Do break yourself of disagreeable personal habits. Do not yawn in people's faces, lounge in your chair, scratch head or person, or clean finger-nails when others are present.

Do not forget to use your handkerchief, and that quietly as possible.

Do decide that temperate habits are more manly than intemperate ones, and don't think that it is one of your "rights" to smoke cigarettes.

Do learn to say "No," to lead sometimes instead of always following.

Do be careful of your manners. Remember that as the twig is bent, so the tree is inclined, and that the polished boy will be the polished man. Polish, it is to be understood, is not inconsistent with strength, but rather adds to it. The strongest machinery is of the finest polish, and the Damascus blade is of the surest mettle.

Do be sure to give up your seat in omnibus or car to a lady. Even if she be not sufficiently grateful, you have shown your good breeding.

Do remember to remove your hat when you enter a house, private office, hotel elevator (if ladies are present), when you bow to a lady or when you offer to assist a lady.

Do lay these "do's" up in your memory and practice them in your lives.

Guard the Voice.

A harsh voice, or shrill, high-pitched tones, are a source of discomfort to all who hear them. Nothing gives a more favorable impression of good breeding than a voice, musical, clear, low in its key, and careful in its articulation.

George Eliot, who had a face of extreme plainness, possessed a low musical voice that had a perfect fascination for the listener. At times such a voice is the gift of nature, but usually it requires careful cultivation, and the earlier the age at which this cultivation begins, the surer and the simpler is the price of success.

Children can be early taught not to raise their voices shrilly to demand attention, but to speak softly and gently at home, and then their "company voice" will possess a natural quality. Train the tones softly and sweetly now, and they will keep in tune through life.

Those whose early education in this respect has been neglected will win success only at the price of eternal vigilance. A few lessons in voice culture will work wonders in training the ear to appreciate the different keys, the voice to acquire lower and richer tones, and the articulation to become clear and distinct.

Even where there are serious vocal defects, such as stammering, lisping, etc., they can be relieved by some good teacher of voice-culture. Indeed, some attention to the culture of voices ought to become a necessary part of education. A low, sweet voice is like a lark's song in heart and home, and the self-control necessary to always keep it at this harmonious level, exercises a most salutary influence over mind and temper.

How to Treat Servants.

A large proportion of the domestic economy in many households is left entirely in the hands of servants, and on the good or ill behavior of these servants depends the comfort of the home, and the behavior of the servants depends very greatly upon the behavior of their employers toward them. The manner even of addressing servants in this country is rather important, offense being so readily taken at what is deemed disrespect.

Men servants may be addressed by their last name without any prefix. If they have been in the family a long time the first name may be used, if desired. In addressing servants that are perfect strangers it can be generally managed without the use of any name. In writing to them address without prefix, as, Robert Johnson.

Do not be insolent towards, or demand too much of, servants. They have very much the same feelings of pride that the house-mistress has, and the less those feelings are wounded the better help they will render.

Do not reprimand them before guests. Nothing so injures their self-respect or so tends to make them careless. Whatever the blunder, be apparently unmoved in the presence of your guests. Save all reproof until their departure. Have a perfect understanding of the work you would have them perform, if you would have them accomplish it satisfactorily. Ignorance never yet made a good master or mistress, and always puts a premium on incompetency on the part of employés.

Have Rules and Enforce Them.

Require all house servants to be quiet in their movements, not to slam doors or rattle china. Impress upon them the importance of dressing neatly. Teach them to treat all comers with politeness; to answer the door-bell promptly and to thoroughly understand whatever rules you may have about being "engaged" or "not at home."