Part 36

Sometimes a dinner-party is given by the parents of the bride-elect and the announcement is made by the host just before leaving the table. Congratulations follow. Sometimes notes are written by the young lady or her mother in announcement.

If the families of the contracting parties have been strangers heretofore it is expected that the gentleman's family will make the first call. Any friends that choose may give entertainments in honor of the couple.

The lady does not make any ceremonious calls after this announcement has been made, it being supposed that before this occurs she shall have left cards upon all her friends. If no formal announcement is made the bride-to-be must, before invitations are issued, leave cards with her friends and acquaintances. In the city she need not enter to make a personal call, in the country she will probably find it necessary so to do.

Wedding Gifts.

There is much to be said for and against the custom of wedding presents. And while the fact remains that they too often become the vehicle for an expenditure so uncalled-for as to encroach upon vulgarity in its excess, another fact still exists, that the simple remembrances of friends are very grateful to the bride, who, perhaps, is bound for a distant home where every loving token will recall a well-known face.

Then remember your friends on their wedding day, wisely, and according to their tastes and your own resources, for:

"Policy counselleth a gift, Given wisely and in season, And policy afterward approveth it, For great is the power of gifts."

By those so desiring, the words, "No presents," or "No presents received," may be engraved in the left hand corner of the card. This is often a relief to many of the guests, and, at the same time does not prevent the very intimate friends, as well as members of the family, from sending quietly such gifts as they may choose, which, of course, are not exhibited.

Where presents are to be given they are frequently sent some time in advance, and the bride often takes much pleasure in arranging them for exhibition in some upstairs room. Each article is accompanied by the card of the giver; these are removed or not, as may be desired before exhibition.

The bride acknowledges the reception of each gift by a graceful little note of thanks. Some of them doubtless will come from persons unknown to her, friends of the groom, and to these she must be especially prompt in returning her acknowledgments.

List of Invitations.

Making up the list of invitations should be attended to carefully. The engaged couple should carefully prepare their respective lists and the mother of the bride should attentively scan names, for from this is to be made up the future visiting list of her daughter, and she cannot but hesitate at burdening her at the outset of her new life with a host of calling acquaintances, hence is forced to exclude every ineligible name; a cutting painful but oftimes necessary.

Ushers.

The duties of the ushers in a church wedding are very important. At large weddings as many as half a dozen, or more, ushers are sometimes needed to manage the great number of guests. They usually appoint one of their number as head usher, and to him falls the duty of deciding on the space to be reserved for near relatives, which is to be divided from the remainder of the church by white ribbons. He makes sure that the organist is in place, indicates the approach of the bridal party that the Wedding March may greet them, and instructs the other ushers as to their respective duties.

Ushers must escort guests to their seats, and as relatives of the groom are seated on the right of the main aisle, or center of the church, and those of the bride on the left, it is proper for an usher to ask any one with whom he may be unacquainted whether their relationship is to the bride or groom.

In escorting guests to their seats an usher gives his right arm to a lady. A gentleman who may be in her company should follow after.

The guests assembled, part of the ushers should leave the church at once and drive to the bride's residence in order to be there to receive the bridal party upon their return.

"The Best Man."

The "best man" is usually an intimate friend or relative of the groom. He drives to the church with him, stands by his side at the altar-rails while he awaits the approach of the bride, and, stepping back, it is he that holds the groom's hat during the ceremony and hands it to him at its close. To him is confided the payment of the wedding fee, and if there is a marriage register he signs as a witness. He then drives by himself to the bride's home, reaching there in time to receive the bridal party and to assist the ushers in the presentation of guests to the newly-married couple. He also makes the necessary arrangements about their departure, secures the tickets, and, if their destination is to be kept a secret, to him alone is it confided.

It occasionally happens that there are as many groomsmen as there are bridemaids, but this is the exception and the "best man" takes their place.

The ushers frequently form, two and two, and precede the bridal party up the aisle.

Bridemaids.

The number of these is optional, from one to twelve being allowable. Four, six or eight are usually chosen. Unmarried sisters of the bride and groom are frequently selected. Custom emphatically declares that they must be younger than the bride. For an elder sister thus to officiate would be extremely inappropriate.

Indeed, the favored fashion of the present time is for little tots, all the way from three or four to eight, clad in bewitchingly quaint and picturesque costumes and crowned by the largest of Gainsboro' hats, to precede the bridal couple to the chancel. In addition to these, the bride is followed by a chosen number of bridemaids as well, but often the children are all. Frequently they carry baskets of flowers, and, preceding the newly-made wife in her progress down the church aisle, they scatter the blossoms in her pathway.

Sometimes this order is changed, and children rise in groups from seats near the front, and, preceding the bridal cortège to the door, scatter flowers before them. Children selected for this purpose should be under ten. Young boys, selected from among relatives, are sometimes dressed as pages and accompany the bride as train-bearers.

Bridemaids usually consult the bride as to their toilets, and each other as well, that there may be no unfortunate combinations of color to mar the effect of the whole. They usually dress in colors, unless the bride choose some faint tint for her costume; then it is customary for them to wear pure white, and sometimes the whole group are clad in spotless purity.

The bridemaids' gowns are walking length, as a rule, and they wear large, picturesque hats, overshadowed with plumes or adorned with flowers, and carry huge bunches, or baskets, of fragrant blossoms. Wealthy brides, who have some special fancy to carry out, often provide the gowns for their maids. Historic styles are frequently chosen, making every gown after the exact mode of the epoch selected, but adopting a different color for each.

Where there is but one bridemaid, if she be escorted at all, which is not always done, it should be by some friend, not the "best man," whose duties in attendance on the groom are all-sufficient.