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Part 2

Miss Civilization: a Comedy in One Act · Richard Harding Davis — chapter 2 of 10 · ~497 words · public domain

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HATCH: (Speaking over his shoulder) Hush! Be careful, can't you? (He enters. He is followed by "GRAND STAND" HARRY, a younger man of sporting appearance. He also wears a mask, and the brim of his gray alpine hat is pulled over his eyes. Around his throat he wears a heavy silk muffler). It's all right. Come on. Hurry up, and close those shutters.

HARRY: (to REDDY outside) Give me the bag, Reddy.

(REDDY appears at window. He is dressed like a Bowery tough. His face is blackened with burnt cork. His hair is of a brilliant red. He wears an engineer's silk cap with visor. To HARRY he passes a half-filled canvas bag. On his shoulder he carries another. On entering he slips and falls forward on the floor).

HATCH: Confound you!

HARRY: Hush, you fool.

HATCH: Has he broken anything?

REDDY: (on floor, rubbing his head) I've broke my head.

HATCH: That's no loss. Has he smashed that silver?

HARRY: (feeling in bag) It feels all right.

(HATCH cautiously parts curtains at centre and exits into hall.)

REDDY: (lifts bag) We got enough stuff in this bag already without wasting time on ANOTHER house.

HARRY: Wasting time! Time's money in THIS house. Look at this silver. That's the beauty of working the night AFTER Christmas; everybodys' presents is lying about loose, and everybody's too tired celebrating to keep awake. (Lifts silver loving cup) Look at that cup!

REDDY: I'd rather look at a cup of coffee.

HARRY: (Contemptuously) Ah, you!

REDDY: Well, I can't make a meal out of silver ice pitchers, can I? I've been through three refrigerators tonight, and nothing in any of em but bottles of MILK! MILK!

HARRY: Get up, get up, get to work.

REDDY: The folks in this town are the stingiest I ever see. I won't visit em again, no matter how often they ask me. (Rising and crossing to buffet) I wonder if these folks is vegetarians, too.

(HATCH enters)

HATCH: It seems all right. There's no light, and everybody's quiet. (To HARRY) You work the bedrooms. I'll clear away those things. Don't be rough, now.

HARRY: I know my business. Give me the light. (Takes lantern and exits centre)

HATCH: Hist, Reddy. Reddy, leave that alone. That's not safe. (Removes silver from sideboard to bag).

REDDY: I know it ain't, governor. I'm lookin' for somethin' to eat. (He kneels in front of buffet, and opens door.)

HATCH: No, you're not! You're not here to eat. Come and give me a hand with this stuff.

REDDY: Gee! I've found a bottle of whiskey. (Takes bottle from buffet and begins to pull at the cork.)

HATCH: Well, you put it right back where you found it.

REDDY: I know a better place than that to put it.

HATCH: How many times have I told you I'll not let you drink in business hours?

REDDY: Oh, just once, governor; it's a cruel, cold night. (Coughs.) I need it for medicine.

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