Part 5

Pushfulness at Plug Street.

Colonel Ian Jelloid, of the Blobshire Rifles, being an energetic and businesslike man, believes in advertising as an antidote to stagnant warfare.]

"I reckon this bloke must 'ave caught 'is face against some of them forts at Verdun!"]

"Only just"

"S.O.S."

The Hard Lines of Communication.]

"They'll be torpedoin' us if we stick 'ere much longer, Bill."]

This for half an hour

War!

--As it is for most of us.]

"What was that, Bill?"

"Trench mortar."

"Ours or theirs?"]

That indiscriminating orb, the moon, gives Private Scattergood a saintly appearance, sadly out of keeping with his thoughts. He's filling 100 sandbags at 11 p.m.]

"Is this right for 'eadquarters?"

"Yes, change at Oxford Circus."]

"Nor do I"

Thinking it over subsequently in Boulogne,--an impression of overcrowding predominates in recollections of "straighthing" that bit of the line.

"We Look Before----And After."]

"OUR BERT" (going on leave--having asked a question, and having listened to three minutes' unintelligible eloquence): "And 'ow does the chorus go?"]

"I wish you'd get something for that ---- cough of yours. That's the second time you've blown the blinkin' candle out!"]

"Come on, Bert, it's safer in the trenches."]

"LEAVE."]

"You owes me two francs and I owes you one that's got into the lining of me coat; that makes it right, don't it?"]

The General . . . Cyrus Moffat

Nancy Prendergasp, his daughter, who has gone in for nursing, unknown to her father. She is in love with ----

Featuring Miss Sybil Fane

DICK MANVERS a lance Corporal in the pay department, who, after extensive & painful researches, has invented a new bomb