Four Short Plays

Part 1

Produced by David Widger

HALL-MARKED AND OTHERS

From Six Short Plays

By John Galsworthy

CONTENTS:

HALL-MARKED DEFEAT THE SUN PUNCH AND GO

HALL-MARKED

A Satiric Trifle

CHARACTERS

HERSELF. LADY ELLA. THE SQUIRE. THE MAID. MAUD. THE RECTOR. THE DOCTOR. THE CABMAN. HANNIBAL and EDWARD

HALL-MARKED

The scene is the sitting-room and verandah of HER bungalow.

The room is pleasant, and along the back, where the verandah runs, it seems all window, both French and casement. There is a door right and a door left. The day is bright; the time morning.

LADY ELLA. Don't bring Hannibal in till I know where she's put Edward!

MAUD. [Brutally, to HANNIBAL] Bad dog! Bad dog!

LADY ELLA. Maud, do take him out! Tie him up. Here! [She takes out a lace handkerchief ] No--something stronger! Poor darling Edward! [To HANNIBAL] You are a bad dog!

MAUD. Edward began it, Ella. [To HANNIBAL] Bad dog! Bad dog!

LADY ELLA. Tie him up outside. Here, take my scarf. Where is my poor treasure? [She removes her scarf] Catch! His ear's torn; I saw it.

MAUD. [Taking the scarf, to HANNIBAL] Now!

He smells horrible. Bad dog--getting into ponds to fight!

LADY ELLA. Tie him up, Maud. I must try in here.

MAUD. [To THE RECTOR] Smell him, Bertie! [To THE SQUIRE] You might have that pond drained, Squire!

HER VOICE. All right! I've bound him up!

LADY ELLA. May I come in?

HER VOICE. Just a second! I've got nothing on.

LADY ELLA. Oh! There you are!

THE RECTOR. [Doubtfully] I was just going to wade in----

LADY ELLA. Hannibal would have killed him, if she hadn't rushed in!

Part 2

THE SQUIRE. Done him good, little beast!

LADY ELLA. Why didn't you go in, Tommy?

THE SQUIRE. Well, I would--only she----

LADY ELLA. I can't think how she got Edward out of Hannibal's awful mouth!

MAUD. [Without--to HANNIBAL, who is snuffling on the verandah and straining at the scarf] Bad dog!

LADY ELLA. We must simply thank her tremendously! I shall never forget the way she ran in, with her skirts up to her waist!

THE SQUIRE. By Jove! No. It was topping.

LADY ELLA. Her clothes must be ruined. That pond--ugh! [She wrinkles her nose] Tommy, do have it drained.

THE RECTOR. [Dreamily] I don't remember her face in church.

THE SQUIRE. Ah! Yes. Who is she? Pretty woman!

LADY ELLA. I must get the Vet. to Edward. [To THE SQUIRE] Tommy, do exert yourself!

THE SQUIRE. All right! [Exerting himself] Here's a bell!

HER VOICE. [Through the door] The bleeding's stopped. Shall I send him in to you?

LADY ELLA. Oh, please! Poor darling!

LADY ELLA. [Aghast] Look! Hannibal's loose! Maud--Tommy. [To THE RECTOR] You!

LADY ELLA. [To EDWARD] Yes, I know--you'd like to! You SHALL bite him when it's safe. Oh! my darling, you DO----[She sniffs].

Have you tied him properly this time?

MAUD. With Bertie's braces.

LADY ELLA. Oh! but----

MAUD. It's all right; they're almost leather.

LADY ELLA. Rector, are you sure it's safe?

THE RECTOR. [Hitching at his trousers] No, indeed, LADY Ella--I----

LADY ELLA. Tommy, do lend a hand!

THE SQUIRE. All right, Ella; all right! He doesn't mean what you mean!

LADY ELLA. [Transferring EDWARD to THE SQUIRE] Hold him, Tommy. He's sure to smell out Hannibal!

THE SQUIRE. [Taking EDWARD by the collar, and holding his own nose] Jove! Clever if he can smell anything but himself. Phew! She ought to have the Victoria Cross for goin' in that pond.

SHE. So very sorry--had to have a bath, and change, of course!

LADY ELLA. We're so awfully grateful to you. It was splendid.

Part 3

MAUD. Quite.

THE RECTOR. [Rather holding himself together] Heroic! I was just myself about to----

THE SQUIRE. [Restraining EDWARD] Little beast will fight--must apologise--you were too quick for me----

SHE. Poor dears! They thought they were so safe in that nice pond!

LADY ELLA. Is he very badly torn?

SHE. Rather nasty. There ought to be a stitch or two put in his ear.

LADY ELLA. I thought so. Tommy, do----

THE SQUIRE. All right. Am I to let him go?

LADY ELLA. No.

MAUD. The fly's outside. Bertie, run and tell Jarvis to drive in for the Vet.

THE RECTOR. [Gentle and embarrassed] Run? Well, Maud--I----

SHE. The doctor would sew it up. My maid can go round.

LADY ELLA. Look! Catch him! Rector!

MAUD. Bertie! Catch him!

SHE. Take this strop--he can't break that. And would these be any good to you?

LADY ELLA. Splendid, isn't she? I do admire her.

THE SQUIRE. She's all there.

THE RECTOR. [Feelingly] Most kind.

THE SQUIRE. [Suddenly] Eh?

MAUD. Yes.

THE SQUIRE. [Looking at his wife] Ah!

LADY ELLA. [Absorbed in EDWARD] Poor darling!

THE SQUIRE. [Bluntly] Ella, the Rector wants to get up!

THE RECTOR. [Gently] Perhaps--just for a moment----

LADY ELLA. Oh! [She turns to the wall.]

THE SQUIRE. [Meditating] So she's married!

LADY ELLA. [Absorbed in EDWARD] Why?

THE SQUIRE. Braces.

Part 4

LADY ELLA. Oh! Yes. We ought to ask them to dinner, Tommy.

THE SQUIRE. Ah! Yes. Wonder who they are?

THE RECTOR. Really very good of her to lend her husband's--I was-- er--quite----

MAUD. That'll do, Bertie.

HERSELF. Caught the doctor just starting, So lucky!

LADY ELLA. Oh! Thank goodness!

DOCTOR. How do, Lady Ella? How do, Squire?--how do, Rector? [To MAUD] How de do? This the beastie? I see. Quite! Who'll hold him for me?

LADY ELLA. Oh! I!

HERSELF. D'you know, I think I'd better. It's so dreadful when it's your own, isn't it? Shall we go in here, doctor? Come along, pretty boy!

LADY ELLA. I dreaded it. She is splendid!

THE SQUIRE. Dogs take to her. That's a sure sign.

THE RECTOR. Little things--one can always tell.

THE SQUIRE. Something very attractive about her--what! Fine build of woman.

MAUD. I shall get hold of her for parish work.

THE RECTOR. Ah! Excellent--excellent! Do!

THE SQUIRE. Wonder if her husband shoots? She seems quite-er--quite----

LADY ELLA. [Watching the door] Quite! Altogether charming; one of the nicest faces I ever saw.

Oh! Doctor--have you? is it----?

DOCTOR. Right as rain! She held him like an angel--he just licked her, and never made a sound.

LADY ELLA. Poor darling! Can I----

DOCTOR. Better leave 'em a minute. She's moppin' 'im off. [He wrinkles his nose] Wonderful clever hands!

THE SQUIRE. I say--who is she?

DOCTOR. [Looking from face to face with a dubious and rather quizzical expression] Who? Well--there you have me! All I know is she's a first-rate nurse--been helpin' me with a case in Ditch Lane. Nice woman, too--thorough good sort! Quite an acquisition here. H'm! [Again that quizzical glance] Excuse me hurryin' off--very late. Good-bye, Rector. Good-bye, Lady Ella. Good-bye!

THE SQUIRE. H'm! I suppose we ought to be a bit careful.

JARVIS. [To THE RECTOR] Beg pardon, sir. Is the little dog all right?

MAUD. Yes.

JARVIS. [Touching his hat] Seein' you've missed your train, m'm, shall I wait, and take you 'ome again?

MAUD. No.

Part 5

JARVIS. Cert'nly, m'm. [He touches his hat with a circular gesture, and is about to withdraw.]

LADY ELLA. Oh, Jarvis--what's the name of the people here?

JARVIS. Challenger's the name I've driven 'em in, my lady.

THE SQUIRE. Challenger? Sounds like a hound. What's he like?

JARVIS. [Scratching his head] Wears a soft 'at, sir.

THE SQUIRE. H'm! Ah!

JARVIS. Very nice gentleman, very nice lady. 'Elped me with my old mare when she 'ad the 'ighsteria last week--couldn't 'a' been kinder if they'd 'a' been angels from 'eaven. Wonderful fond o' dumb animals, the two of 'em. I don't pay no attention to gossip, meself.

MAUD. Gossip? What gossip?

JARVIS. [Backing] Did I make use of the word, m'm? You'll excuse me, I'm sure. There's always talk where there's newcomers. I takes people as I finds 'em.

THE RECTOR. Yes, yes, Jarvis--quite--quite right!

JARVIS. Yes, sir. I've--I've got a 'abit that way at my time o' life.

MAUD. [Sharply] How long have they been here, Jarvis?

JARVIS. Well---er--a matter of three weeks, m'm.

LADY ELLA. [Suddenly] Er--thank you, Jarvis; you needn't wait.

JARVIS. No, m'lady. Your service, sir--service, m'm.

THE SQUIRE. [Drawing a little closer] Three weeks? I say--er-- wasn't there a book?

THE RECTOR. [Abstracted] Three weeks----I certainly haven't seen them in church.

MAUD. A trifle of a ring!

LADY ELLA. [Impulsively] Oh, bother! I'm sure she's all right. And if she isn't, I don't care. She's been much too splendid.

THE SQUIRE. Must think of the village. Didn't quite like the doctor's way of puttin' us off.

LADY ELLA. The poor darling owes his life to her.

THE SQUIRE. H'm! Dash it! Yes! Can't forget the way she ran into that stinkin' pond.

MAUD. Had she a wedding-ring on?

LADY ELLA. Well, I'm not going to be ungrateful.

THE SQUIRE. It'd be dashed awkward--mustn't take a false step, Ella.

THE RECTOR. And I've got his braces! [He puts his hand to his waist.]

MAUD. [Warningly] Bertie!

THE SQUIRE. That's all right, Rector--we're goin' to be perfectly polite, and--and--thank her, and all that.

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