Part 19

OPERA

A SUFFICIENT FORM for an invitation to an opera party will be found in the chapter on the theater, which needs only a verbal change to specify the particular performance at the opera instead of at the playhouse. In general, also, the procedure suited to attendance at the theater is to be followed in connection with the opera. But there are certain differences that should be regarded.

The dress for the opera is more formal than for the theater, generally speaking. The man, for example, usually keeps his white gloves on. The woman, for her part, wears a gown that is sleeveless and decolleté, and displays jewels according to her means or taste. An aigrette takes the place of the hat that may be worn to the theater. Nevertheless, it is quite permissible for a woman occupying a stall in the orchestra at the opera to wear a costume of the sort commonly seen at the theater.

Visiting at the opera is a distinctive feature, facilitated as it is by the number of boxes, so greatly in excess of those with which the theater is supplied. For it is with the boxes that this visiting is chiefly concerned, though it reaches to some extent to the orchestra stalls.

Between acts is the proper time for such calls, which are usually, but not exclusively, paid by men. A gentleman may call on a lady of his acquaintance in a box, though she is a guest of a host or hostess who is not known to him. In such case, the woman to whom he pays the visit must introduce him to her entertainer. But an introduction of the sort is merely formal, and entails no necessity of subsequent recognition by either party.

No more than five minutes, or even less, should be given to such calls, but some discretion is permitted by the particular circumstances. Thus, where there are many coming and going, the time should be shorter than when there are few other visitors, or none. The call should never extend beyond the end of the intermission.

Since an opera box is equipped with a vestibule of its own, the women do not leave their wraps in the cloak-room, but wait until their arrival at the box, when they are taken off in the vestibule. Afterward, on entering the box, the chaperon and other older women precede the younger, and are offered the choice of seats. But they usually prefer the less conspicuous positions, and the chairs at the rail are given to the débutantes, or younger matrons. The exact arrangement is always a matter for the display of tact on the part of host or hostess.

Visiting among the stalls is necessarily more limited, but is practised to any extent rendered convenient by location.

In such visiting, the ordinary amenities of social intercourse are to be observed. The men, for example, must stand when a lady enters the box in which they are seated, and they should remain standing until her departure, or until she has taken a chair.

PRIVATE THEATRICALS

PRIVATE THEATRICALS are usually the feature of an evening function.

The form of invitation is exactly the same as for a musicale, with the one exception in substituting Theatricals at ten o’clock. The phrase appears thus in the at-home form of announcement. When the invitation requests the pleasure of the guest’s company, At Private Theatricals is preferred as the descriptive statement.

On occasions when the theatricals are to be followed by a dance, the word Dancing is added at the bottom of the card.

The letters R.s.v.p. are commonly employed in connection with such invitations, and their appearance on the card emphasizes the necessity of a written reply.

RECEPTIONS

ALL DETAILS of the etiquette that has to do with receptions, whether they are held in the afternoon or in the evening, are carefully described in the chapter treating various forms of the at home.

SMOKING

A GUEST in the home of another must not smoke unless invited to do so by host or hostess.

A man in the presence of a lady must not smoke unless he asks for, and receives, permission to do so.

A man should not smoke when walking with a woman in public.

A man must not converse while holding cigar, pipe, or cigarette in his mouth.

STAIRS

IN A FORMER generation, women hid their ankles, and gave brief glimpses of them only by accident or naughty design. It was then required of a gentleman that he should precede a lady in ascending stairs. To-day, fashion has cleared away all mystery concerning feminine ankles, and a gentleman is permitted to follow the lady as she mounts the stairs.

STREET ETIQUETTE

WHEN A MAN and woman walk together in the street, the man’s proper position is usually on the side toward the curb, and he maintains this place also when walking with two women. He should never station himself between them, unless under the informal circumstances of a country road, or the like.

In the day time, a man does not offer a woman his arm when they walk together, though of course he should give her the support of his hand under her elbow when such assistance is obviously required, as in mounting the steps of a car. But in the evening a man properly offers his arm to a woman when they are to walk together, and she lays her hand on his forearm. They should never hook arms.

When a man and woman who are acquainted with each other meet in the street, it is the woman’s place to extend recognition by a nod and smile, which latter varies from coldness to warmth according to her will. On receiving such recognition, for which in any formal acquaintance he must wait, the man raises his hat, and at the same time bows.

When a man is walking with a woman, he must salute in the same fashion any others that pass who recognize either himself or his companion, except that where the person is not an acquaintance of his own, he merely lifts his hat without bowing.