Part 10

For a declination, the following form may be used:

_17 North Street

April 30, 1919

Mr. and Mrs. Sloan Potter

regret that their absence from the city

must prevent their acceptance of

Mr. and Mrs. John Morehouse’s

invitation to dinner on

Tuesday evening, May the sixth

at half-past seven_

The invitation in the form of a note is answered similarly by a note. Thus:

_42 Chestnut Street April 30, 1919

My Dear Mrs. Morehouse:_

It is with much pleasure that I accept your kind invitation to dinner on Tuesday evening, the sixth, at half-past seven o’clock.

Yours sincerely, Helen Potter

A declination should state a courteous reason.

All such answers are addressed to the hostess alone. If she is married the husband is, nevertheless, omitted from the address.

The reply to an informal invitation should always be correspondingly informal.

For a formal dinner, there should be an even number of guests, eight or ten, or more, with the sexes evenly divided.

Either a round or square table will serve, but it should be large enough to accommodate all the party without crowding.

A pad should cover the table. The white cloth over this should be so large that the corners reach nearly to the floor.

A folded napkin is placed on each plate, with a roll or piece of bread laid within it. Three forks are laid to the left of the plate, with prongs up. Two steel knives are to the right of the plate, and then a silver knife, the edge of each to the left. A soup spoon follows the silver knife, and then an oyster fork. Other utensils are sometimes added, but are not necessary.

A goblet for water is placed before the knives. With it are grouped whatever wine glasses may be required. A small card lying on the napkin carries the name of the guest to be seated here.

When dinner is announced, the host offers his arm to the woman who is to sit on his right, and leads the way to the dining-room. Already, in welcoming the guests, the hostess has made known the dinner-partners, introducing them when necessary. These now follow in pairs to the dining-room. The hostess brings up the rear. The guests find their places by the cards.

The hostess does not rise in greeting a late arrival, even a woman. But the host does, and sees to the seating of the laggard.

It has long been the custom for the ladies to leave the dining-room after the fruit course, and to have coffee served in the drawing-room. In such case, the men stand until the women have passed out. Afterward, they seat themselves where they please, and smoking is permitted. The present-day tendency, however, is toward lessening the time of this separation and often doing away with it altogether, especially at less formal dinners, which otherwise follow an essentially identical routine.

Both host and hostess must say farewell, standing, with a handclasp, to each guest.

As for the guest, his first duty is to arrive exactly on time. Fifteen minutes of delay is the limit.