Part 9

Woman's place is the home, but under a special privilege she is sometimes allowed to send her wages as a substitute.

To the Great Dining Out Majority

The New York State Association Opposed to Woman Suffrage is sending out leaflets to its members urging them to "tell every man you meet, your tailor, your postman, your grocer, as well as your dinner partner, that you are opposed to woman suffrage."

We hope that the 90,000 sewing machine operatives, the 40,000 saleswomen, the 32,000 laundry operatives, the 20,000 knitting and silk mill girls, the 17,000 women janitors and cleaners, the 12,000 cigar-makers, to say nothing of the 700,000 other women and girls in industry in New York State, will remember when they have drawn off their long gloves and tasted their oysters to tell their dinner partners that they are opposed to woman suffrage because they fear it might take women out of the home.

WOMEN'S SPHERE

Many Men to Any Woman

If you have beauty, charm, refinement, tact, If you can prove that should I set you free, You would not contemplate the smallest act That might annoy or interfere with me. If you can show that women will abide By the best standards of their womanhood-- (And I must be the person to decide What in a woman is the highest good); If you display efficiency supreme In philanthropic work devoid of pay; If you can show a clearly thought-out scheme For bringing the millennium in a day: Why, then, dear lady, at some time remote, I might consider giving you the vote.

A Sex Difference

When men in Congress come to blows at something someone said, I always notice that it shows their blood is quick and red; But if two women disagree, with very little noise, It proves, and this seems strange to me, that women have no poise.

Advice to Heroines

A heroine must shrink and cling When heroes are about, And thus the watching world will think: "How brave his heart and stout!" But if he chance to be away When bright-faced dangers shine, It will be best for her to play The oak-tree, not the vine. In fact the most important thing Is knowing when it's time to cling.

With apologies to R.L.S.

A heroine must be polite And do what others say is right, And think men wise and formidable-- At least as far as she is able.

Mutual Vows

"My dear," he said, "observe this frightful bill, Run up, I think you'll own, against my will. If you will recollect our wedding day You vowed on that occasion to obey." "I do recall the day," said she, "and how Me with your worldly goods you did endow." "That," he replied, "is palpably absurd----" "You mean you did not mean to keep your word?" "O, yes," he answered, "in a general way." "And that," said she, "is how I meant obey."

If They Meant All They Said

Charm is a woman's strongest arm; My charwoman is full of charm; I chose her, not for strength of arm But for her strange elusive charm.

And how tears heighten woman's powers! My typist weeps for hours and hours: I took her for her weeping powers-- They so delight my business hours.

A woman lives by intuition. Though my accountant shuns addition She has the rarest intuition. (And I myself can do addition.)

Timidity in girls is nice. My cook is so afraid of mice. Now you'll admit it's very nice To feel your cook's afraid of mice.

Democracy

Democracy is this--to hold That all who wander down the pike In cart or car, on foot or bike, Or male or female, young or old, Are much alike--are much alike.

Feminism

"Mother, what is a Feminist?" "A Feminist, my daughter, Is any woman now who cares To think about her own affairs As men don't think she oughter."

The Warning

No, it isn't home neglecting If you spend your time selecting Seven blouses and a jacket and a hat; Or to give your day to paying Needless visits, or to playing Auction bridge. What critic could object to that? But to spend two precious hours At a lecture! Oh, my powers, The home is all a woman needs to learn. And an hour, or a quarter, Spent in voting! Why, my daughter, You could not find your home on your return.

Evolution

Said Mr. Jones in 1910: "Women, subject yourselves to men." Nineteen-Eleven heard him quote: "They rule the world without the vote." By Nineteen-Twelve, he would submit "When all the women wanted it." By Nineteen-Thirteen, looking glum, He said that it was bound to come. This year I heard him say with pride: "No reasons on the other side!" By Nineteen-Fifteen, he'll insist He's always been a suffragist. And what is really stranger, too, He'll think that what he says is true.