Part 2

2. Never flatter yourself that you know how the business should be done better than your teachers; therefore hear with patience their instructions, and always be submissive to their directions.

Never contradict them in any sense whatever; but if you think that any other way, different from what they direct, would do better, you may inform them of it, but do it with the greatest modesty and circumspection; and if they comply with what you say, it is well, but if they do not, add no more, but obey as you were first directed.

Always make the business of the day the first object, and then if you have any leisure hours, you may improve them to the best advantage and for your own profit and satisfaction.

Never allow yourself to be peevish and fretful about your work, food, dress, or any thing of the like nature, even if the business does not go on to suit you; for this will only make the business more irksome and fatiguing, without any kind of benefit to yourself.

3. Do not expect even from your best endeavors wholly to escape without censure. For the mind of youth is so fickle, it would be very strange if you did not sometimes go astray, and not do so well as you might; and if you do, you must expect reproof, and rebuke, and you ought to take it kindly, and endeavour to do better for the future.

But even if you should always do your best, you must expect that you will sometimes do wrong, even for want of knowledge; and you cannot expect that people will always exercise that patience, so but what they will many times chide you, and find fault, even when you have done your best. All this you ought to bear with patience without a murmuring word: for if you are conscious to yourself that you have done as well as you could, even a sharp rebuke need not trouble you; for you may gain some knowledge by it, and therefore it may terminate for your own advantage. Besides, if you bear it with patience, and try to convince them by your future conduct that you used your best endeavors to have every thing done as it should be, this will have a tendency to convince them of their error, and cause them to exercise more patience for the future.

Always pay a proper respect to your parents, guardians, or masters, and ever be submissive to their commands. Never try to aggravate them, even if they should find fault at trifles; that is, to treat the matter with a kind of indifferency, though you did not care to displease them; for this will only make them more fretful for the future.―― But if you are sensible that you have done wrong, you ought to confess it, and endeavour to reform; but if you think you are not to blame let the whole matter pass in silence.

4. You must not only pay the greatest attention to your domestic concerns, but a proper decorum in all your words and actions must be attended to. Your leisure hours should be employed in reading useful books, which will be most likely to furnish your mind with a store of religious and moral improvements. Read the characters of those ladies who have lived virtuous and pious lives, and endeavour to imitate their examples.

And if you should ever happen to read the characters of any profligate women (not to call them ladies) endeavour to make only this use of their characters; that is, to shun their vices, avoid their pernicious practices, and thereby escape the miseries that attend them.

5. Endeavour to treat all persons with civility. Pay a proper respect to your superiors, complaisance to your equals and courteously treat those whom you shall deem to be your inferiors.

Establish in your own mind a certain rule of decency and modesty, to be attended to in all companies, and at all times, whether at home or abroad.

In all companies, give each one an opportunity for their proper share of conversation. Remember that a talkative, loquacious woman, a young woman more especially, often exposes her weakness, and sickens the ear with her babblings. “The torrent of her words overwhelmeth conversation.” Therefore every species of rudeness ought to be avoided as unbecoming your sex. Again, frequent and loud laughter doth not become any person, especially a woman, and a young woman more especially.―― Therefore it ought to be avoided on all occasions as not belonging to the rules of decency, and as unbecoming the fair sex.

6. The strictest attention must be paid to the conversation which you may occasionally have with the other sex. Be not forward in beginning a conversation with them; but be always ready to return all compliments that may be given to you with an easy address, and in a becoming manner, without being daunted or even put to the blush.

In order to facilitate this business, endeavour to treasure up in your memory, those addresses and compliments, that by constant observation, you may hear drop from those whom you deem to be your superiors; and endeavor to make them familiar to yourself, so that you may be able to use them on any occasion, with propriety, & without the appearance of affectation or dissimulation.

And as you would avoid a prudish disposition on the one hand, so you must equally avoid a volatile, idle, and wanton disposition on the other. To facilitate which, give yourself more to thinking and less to talking, so that when you do speak, you may always speak with decency, modesty, and propriety. Always mind to speak plain and distinctly, and loud enough to be understood, with a modest smile on your face, without a rude look in your countenance.

But let your speeches be short and comprehensive; and never try to prolong a conversation, unless it be upon topics that are becoming your sex. But if the conversation should be disagreeable and unbecoming, endeavor to turn the attention to some other object, introduce some other topic, or else find an occasion of absence.

7. Remember that the bloom of your youth, your healthy and ruddy countenances, the rose on your cheeks, and the sparkling vigor of your eyes, will gain you more admirers than real lovers. Here pause for a few moments and consider! for it is the most delicate point for you to steer through and your name and reputation to remain unsullied.

How often doth the blooming and most promising youth, by one fatal misstep, stain their characters with ignominy, and blast their reputation forever.

It is much easier to avoid temptation, than to resist the deceitful arts of the tempter.

The deceitful heart of a fond admirer, out of a vain pretence of love and affection, will work upon every passion that wit can invent or lust suggest, in order to allure your affections, intrude upon your chastity, and win you over to their fond embraces, and carnal appetites.

O heed not their flatteries, neither give way to their alluring and licentious persuasions! for when they have ruined you, their flatteries will be turned into contempt, and their pretended love into downright hatred. And in the end, they will even forsake you, without regard or pity. Therefore beware of sycophants! and be not deceived by their enticing words! Even if they reproach you to your face for your rigorous treatment, yet behind your back, they will applaud your constancy.

Remember that the taste may be satiated with the sweetest fruit, where there is a full enjoyment; but let a person participate only by anticipation, and the nearer to enjoyment, the more valuable the prize will be.

8. Learn to distinguish between true, genuine love, and mere fancy. He who truly loves or respects you, will not wish to have you violate your honor or chastity, neither will he violently intrude upon the same, although he may endeavour to prove your constancy.

Therefore when you have reason to believe that any one sincerely respects you, and if you also wish to continue to be worthy of his esteem; remember that you cannot do any thing more against yourself than to give over your chastity, or go beyond rules of decency.

But if you have reason to believe that any one’s pretended love is nothing more than mere fancy, which will generally shew itself by a vehement fondness; vows, promises, &c. learn to treat it with a silent neglect; for his utmost wishes will never promote your real happiness.

9. Be not anxious to be admired by every one, but only be careful that the virtuous have no occasion to speak evil against you; to avoid which you have only to live a virtuous life.

Keep a due regard over all your words and actions; not only when you are with those whom you esteem to be virtuous, but even if you should happen to fall in company with those of the baser sort.

It hath been an old maxim, that when we are with the Romans, we must do as the Romans do. And the maxim may be a good one, so far as we can comply with it, and not break over the rules of decency and propriety; but no farther. For it is no rule, neither will it be any excuse for you, to be loose, vain, or lascivious, even if you should happen to fall in company with persons of this description. But the wiser method is, to avoid all such company; for the characters of persons are often judged by the company they keep. Therefore, if you would wish to avoid the reproaches of every one, you must not only abstain from vice yourself, but you must forsake the company of the vicious.