Part 8

MARY. I--

SERGEANT. Shut up!

DICK. Have you got any cider?

SERGEANT. Don't ask. She and the man probably drank themselves stupid on it. [Throws fork on floor.] I never struck such a place in my life. Get me another fork. How do you expect me to eat with that bent thing?

SERGEANT. Now give us some salt. Don't you know that folks eat it on eggs?

SERGEANT [sprinkles pepper on his food]. I said salt, woman! [Spelling.] S-A-L-T. Salt! Salt!

SERGEANT [bellowing and pointing to the fluid trickling on the floor]. Have you tried to poison us, you God damn hag?

MARY [screeching]. Call my coffee poison, will ye? Call me a hag? I'll learn ye! I'm a woman, and ye're drivin' me crazy. [Snatches the gun from the wall, points it at the SERGEANT, and fires. Keeps on screeching. The SERGEANT falls to the floor. DICK rushes for his gun.]

THADDEUS. Mary! Mary!

MARY [aiming at DICK, and firing]. I ain't a hag, I'm a woman, but ye're killin' me.

NORTHERNER. Go get my horse, quick!

NORTHERNER [with great fervor]. I'm ashamed of what I said. The whole country will hear of this, and you. [Takes her hand, and presses it to his lips; then turns and hurries out of the house. MARY still holds the gun in her hand. She pushes a strand of gray hair back from her face, and begins to pick up the fragments of the broken coffee cup.]

MARY [in dead, flat tone]. I'll have to drink out the tin cup now.

Curtain.

II. EUGENICALLY SPEAKING

A One-Act Play

By Edward Goodman

Copyright, 1914, by Edward Goodman

"Eugenically Speaking" was produced by the Washington Square Players, under the direction of Philip Moeller, as part of their first program at the Bandbox Theatre, New York City, beginning February 19, 1915.

In the cast, in the order of their appearance, were the following:

UNA BRAITHEWAITE. Florence Enright GEORGE COXEY. Karl Karsten MR. BRAITHEWAITE. George C. Somnes JARVIS a manservant Ralph Roeder

The scene was designed by Engelbert Gminska and Miss Enright's costume by Mrs. Edward Flammer.

"Eugenically Speaking" was subsequently revived by the Washington Square Players at the Comedy Theatre, New York City, beginning August 30, 1916. In this production Arthur Hohl played the part of George Coxey; Robert Strange, Wm. Braithewaite; and Spalding Hall, Jarvis.

CHARACTERS

UNA. A girl GEORGE COXEY. A conductor MR. BRAITHEWAITE. A financier JARVIS. A butler

TIME: Between to-day and to-morrow.

SCENE: A room in the Braithewaite mansion, richly but tastefully furnished. Among these furnishings it is necessary for the play to note, besides the door at the back, only the table that stands a little to the right of the centre of the room, with a statue on it, and three chairs which stand, one to the right, one to the left, and one in the middle. It is a winter afternoon, and the room is illuminated by invisible lights.

Enter UNA, followed by GEORGE COXEY. UNA is a charming, fashionable girl of twenty with a suave blend of will and poise. GEORGE COXEY is a handsome, well-built, magnetic-looking youth of about twenty-five. He is dressed in the garb of a street-car conductor and carries the cap in his hand. Although somewhat inconvenienced and preoccupied with the novelty of his surroundings and his situation, he remains, in the main, in excellent self-possession, an occasional twinkle in his eye showing that he is even quietly alive to a certain humor in the adventure. Above all, his attitude is that rare one, which we like to feel typical of American youth, of facing an unusual situation firmly, and seeing and grasping its possibilities quickly.