Part 59

“Isn’t Solomin a darling!” Mariana exclaimed. “But we mustn’t get too spoiled. I don’t suppose we shall often have rooms like these. Do you know what I’ve been thinking? It would be rather nice if we could get a place together so that we need not part! It will probably be difficult,” she added after a pause; “but we must think of it. But all the same, you won’t go back to St. Petersburg, will you?”

“What should I do in St. Petersburg? Attend lectures at the university or give lessons? That’s no use to me now.”

“We must ask Solomin,” Mariana observed. “He will know best.”

They went back to the other room and sat down beside each other again. They praised Solomin, Tatiana, Pavel; spoke of the Sipiagins and how their former life had receded from them far into the distance, as if enveloped in a mist; then they clasped each other’s hand again, exchanged tender glances; wondered what class they had better go among first, and how to behave so that people should not suspect them.

Nejdanov declared that the less they thought about that, and the more naturally they behaved, the better.

“Of course! We want to become simple, as Tatiana says.”

“I didn’t mean it in that sense,” Nejdanov began; “I meant that we must not be self-conscious.”

Mariana suddenly burst out laughing.

“Do you remember, Aliosha, how I said that we had both become simplified?”

Nejdanov also laughed, repeated “simplified,” and began musing. Mariana too became pensive.

“Aliosha!” she exclaimed.

“What is it?”

“It seems to me that we are both a little uncomfortable. Young—des nouveaux mariés,” she explained, “when away on their honeymoon no doubt feel as we do. They are happy... all is well with them—but they feel uncomfortable.”

Nejdanov gave a forced smile.

“You know very well, Mariana, that we are not young ... in that sense.”

Mariana rose from her chair and stood before him.

“That depends on yourself.”

“How?”

“Aliosha, you know, dear, that when you tell me, as a man of honour... and I will believe you because I know you are honourable; when you tell me that you love me with that love... the love that gives one person the right over another’s life, when you tell me that—I am yours.”

Nejdanov blushed and turned away a little.

“When I tell you that....”

“Yes, then! But you see, Aliosha, you don’t say that to me now.... Oh yes, Aliosha, you are truly an honourable man. Enough of this! Let us talk of more serious things.”

“But I do love you, Mariana!”

“I don’t doubt that... and shall wait. But there, I have not quite finished arranging your writing table. Here is something wrapped up, something hard.”

Nejdanov sprang up from his chair.

“Don’t touch that, Mariana.... Leave it alone, please!”

Mariana looked at him over her shoulder and raised her eyebrows in amazement.

“Is it a mystery? A secret? Have you a secret?”