Part 23

“Don't know!” resumed Pyecroft hastily; “but it don't matter, for if he wasn't a friend it only makes the joke bigger. Well, his widow didn't survive him long, but died in the States t'other day, leavin' the property in Sacramento--worth about three thousand dollars--to her little girl, who is at school at Santa Clara. The question of guardianship came up, and it appears that the widow--who only knew you through her husband--had, some time before her death, mentioned YOUR name in that connection! He! he!”

“What!” said Colonel Starbottle, starting up.

“Hold on!” said Pyecroft hilariously. “That isn't all! Neither the executors nor the probate judge knew you from Adam, and the Sacramento bar, scenting a good joke, lay low and said nothing. Then the old fool judge said that 'as you appeared to be a lawyer, a man of mature years, and a friend of the family, you were an eminently fit person, and ought to be communicated with'--you know his hifalutin' style. Nobody says anything. So that the next thing you'll know you'll get a letter from that executor asking you to look after that kid. Ha! ha! The boys said they could fancy they saw you trotting around with a ten year old girl holding on to your hand, and the Senorita Dolores or Miss Bellamont looking on! Or your being called away from a poker deal some night by the infant, singing, 'Gardy, dear gardy, come home with me now, the clock in the steeple strikes one!' And think of that old fool judge not knowing you! Ha! ha!”

A study of Colonel Starbottle's face during this speech would have puzzled a better physiognomist than Mr. Pyecroft. His first look of astonishment gave way to an empurpled confusion, from which a single short Silenus-like chuckle escaped, but this quickly changed again into a dull coppery indignation, and, as Pyecroft's laugh continued, faded out into a sallow rigidity in which his murky eyes alone seemed to keep what was left of his previous high color. But what was more singular, in spite of his enforced calm, something of his habitual old-fashioned loftiness and oratorical exaltation appeared to be returning to him as he placed his hand on his inflated breast and faced Pyceroft.

“The ignorance of the executor of Mrs. Stannard and the--er--probate judge,” he began slowly, “may be pardonable, Mr. Pyecroft, since his Honor would imply that, although unknown to HIM personally, I am at least amicus curiae in this question of--er--guardianship. But I am grieved--indeed I may say shocked--Mr. Pyecroft, that the--er--last sacred trust of a dying widow--perhaps the holiest trust that can be conceived by man--the care and welfare of her helpless orphaned girl--should be made the subject of mirth, sir, by yourself and the members of the Sacramento bar! I shall not allude, sir, to my own feelings in regard to Dick Stannard, one of my most cherished friends,” continued the colonel, in a voice charged with emotion, “but I can conceive of no nobler trust laid upon the altar of friendship than the care and guidance of his orphaned girl! And if, as you tell me, the utterly inadequate sum of three thousand dollars is all that is left for her maintenance through life, the selection of a guardian sufficiently devoted to the family to be willing to augment that pittance out of his own means from time to time would seem to be most important.”

Before the astounded Pyecroft could recover himself, Colonel Starbottle leaned back in his chair, half closing his eyes, and abandoned himself, quite after his old manner, to one of his dreamy reminiscences.

“Poor Dick Stannard! I have a vivid recollection, sir, of driving out with him on the Shell Road at New Orleans in '54, and of his saying, 'Star'--the only man, sir, who ever abbreviated my name--'Star, if anything happens to me or her, look after our child! It was during that very drive, sir, that, through his incautious neglect to fortify himself against the swampy malaria by a glass of straight Bourbon with a pinch of bark in it, he caught that fever which undermined his constitution. Thank you, Mr. Pyecroft, for--er--recalling the circumstance. I shall,” continued the colonel, suddenly abandoning reminiscence, sitting up, and arranging his papers, “look forward with great interest to--er--letter from the executor.”

The next day it was universally understood that Colonel Starbottle had been appointed guardian of Pansy Stannard by the probate judge of Sacramento.

There are of record two distinct accounts of Colonel Starbottle's first meeting with his ward after his appointment as her guardian. One, given by himself, varying slightly at times, but always bearing unvarying compliment to the grace, beauty, and singular accomplishments of this apparently gifted child, was nevertheless characterized more by vague, dreamy reminiscences of the departed parents than by any personal experience of the daughter.

“I found the young lady, sir,” he remarked to Mr. Pyecroft, “recalling my cherished friend Stannard in--er--form and features, and--although--er--personally unacquainted with her deceased mother--who belonged, sir, to one of the first families of Virginia--I am told that she is--er--remarkably like her. Miss Stannard is at present a pupil in one of the best educational establishments in Santa Clara, where she is receiving tuition in--er--the English classics, foreign belles lettres, embroidery, the harp, and--er--the use of the--er--globes, and--er--blackboard--under the most fastidious care, and my own personal supervision. The principal of the school, Miss Eudoxia Tish--associated with--er--er--Miss Prinkwell--is--er--remarkably gifted woman; and as I was present at one of the school exercises, I had the opportunity of testifying to her excellence in--er--short address I made to the young ladies.” From such glittering but unsatisfying generalities as these I prefer to turn to the real interview, gathered from contemporary witnesses.

It was the usual cloudless, dazzling, Californian summer day, tempered with the asperity of the northwest trades that Miss Tish, looking through her window towards the rose-embowered gateway of the seminary, saw an extraordinary figure advancing up the avenue. It was that of a man slightly past middle age, yet erect and jaunty, whose costume recalled the early water-color portraits of her own youthful days. His tightly buttoned blue frock coat with gilt buttons was opened far enough across the chest to allow the expanding of a frilled shirt, black stock, and nankeen waistcoat, and his immaculate white trousers were smartly strapped over his smart varnished boots. A white bell-crowned hat, carried in his hand to permit the wiping of his forehead with a silk handkerchief, and a gold-headed walking stick hooked over his arm, completed this singular equipment. He was followed, a few paces in the rear, by a negro carrying an enormous bouquet, and a number of small boxes and parcels tied up with ribbons. As the figure paused before the door, Miss Tish gasped, and cast a quick restraining glance around the classroom. But it was too late; a dozen pairs of blue, black, round, inquiring, or mischievous eyes were already dancing and gloating over the bizarre stranger through the window.

“A cirkiss--or nigger minstrels--sure as you're born!” said Mary Frost, aged nine, in a fierce whisper.

“No!--a agent from 'The Emporium,' with samples,” returned Miss Briggs, aged fourteen.

“Young ladies, attend to your studies,” said Miss Tish, as the servant brought in a card. Miss Tish glanced at it with some nervousness, and read to herself, “Colonel Culpeper Starbottle,” engraved in script, and below it in pencil, “To see Miss Pansy Stannard, under favor of Miss Tish.” Rising with some perturbation, Miss Tish hurriedly intrusted the class to an assistant, and descended to the reception room. She had never seen Pansy's guardian before (the executor had brought the child); and this extraordinary creature, whose visit she could not deny, might be ruinous to school discipline. It was therefore with an extra degree of frigidity of demeanor that she threw open the door of the reception room, and entered majestically. But to her utter astonishment, the colonel met her with a bow so stately, so ceremonious, and so commanding that she stopped, disarmed and speechless.

“I need not ask if I am addressing Miss Tish,” said the colonel loftily, “for without having the pleasure of--er--previous acquaintance, I can at once recognize the--er--Lady Superior and--er--chatelaine of this--er--establishment.” Miss Tish here gave way to a slight cough and an embarrassed curtsy, as the colonel, with a wave of his white hand towards the burden carried by his follower, resumed more lightly: “I have brought--er--few trifles and gewgaws for my ward--subject, of course, to your rules and discretion. They include some--er--dainties, free from any deleterious substance, as I am informed--a sash--a ribbon or two for the hair, gloves, mittens, and a nosegay--from which, I trust, it will be HER pleasure, as it is my own, to invite you to cull such blossoms as may suit your taste. Boy, you may set them down and retire!”

“At the present moment,” stammered Miss Tish, “Miss Stannard is engaged on her lessons. But”--She stopped again, hopelessly.

“I see,” said the colonel, with an air of playful, poetical reminiscence--“her lessons! Certainly!

'We will--er--go to our places, With smiles on our faces, And say all our lessons distinctly and slow.'

Certainly! Not for worlds would I interrupt them; until they are done, we will--er--walk through the classrooms and inspect”--

“No! no!” interrupted the horrified, principal, with a dreadful presentiment of the appalling effect of the colonel's entry upon the class. “No!--that is--I mean--our rules exclude--except on days of public examination”--

“Say no more, my dear madam,” said the colonel politely. “Until she is free I will stroll outside, through--er--the groves of the Academus”--

But Miss Tish, equally alarmed at the diversion this would create at the classroom windows, recalled herself with an effort. “Please wait here a moment,” she said hurriedly; “I will bring her down;” and before the colonel could politely open the door for her, she had fled.

Happily unconscious of the sensation he had caused, Colonel Starbottle seated himself on the sofa, his white hands resting easily on the gold-headed cane. Once or twice the door behind him opened and closed quietly, scarcely disturbing him; or again opened more ostentatiously to the words, “Oh, excuse, please,” and the brief glimpse of a flaxen braid, or a black curly head--to all of which the colonel nodded politely--even rising later to the apparition of a taller, demure young lady--and her more affected “Really, I beg your pardon!” The only result of this evident curiosity was slightly to change the colonel's attitude, so as to enable him to put his other hand in his breast in his favorite pose. But presently he was conscious of a more active movement in the hall, of the sounds of scuffling, of a high youthful voice saying “I won't” and “I shan't!” of the door opening to a momentary apparition of Miss Tish dragging a small hand and half of a small black-ribboned arm into the room, and her rapid disappearance again, apparently pulled back by the little hand and arm; of another and longer pause, of a whispered conference outside, and then the reappearance of Miss Tish majestically, reinforced and supported by the grim presence of her partner, Miss Prinkwell.

“This--er--unexpected visit,” began Miss Tish--“not previously arranged by letter”--

“Which is an invariable rule of our establishment,” supplemented Miss Prinkwell--

“And the fact that you are personally unknown to us,” continued Miss Tish--

“An ignorance shared by the child, who exhibits a distaste for an interview,” interpolated Miss Prinkwell, in a kind of antiphonal response--

“For which we have had no time to prepare her,” continued Miss Tish--