Part 35

IN PRISCUM. XXXI.

When Priscus, rais'd from low to high estate, Rode through the street in pompous jollity, Caius, his poor familiar friend of late, Bespake him thus, "Sir, now you know not me," "'Tis likely, friend," quoth Priscus, "to be so, For at this time myself I do not know."

IN BRUNUM. XXXII.

Brunus, which deems himself a fair sweet youth, Is nine and thirty year of age at least; Yet was he never, to confess the truth, But a dry starveling when he was at best. This gull was sick to show his nightcap fine, And his wrought pillow overspread with lawn; But hath been well since his grief's cause hath line At Trollop's by Saint Clement's Church in pawn.

FOOTNOTES:

So eds. B, C.--Isham copy and ed. A "thinks."

Old eds. "thirtie nine." MS. "nine and thirtith."

Lain.

IN FRANCUM. XXXIII.

When Francus comes to solace with his whore, He sends for rods, and strips himself stark naked; For his lust sleeps, and will not rise before, By whipping of the wench, it be awakËd. I envy him not, but wish I had the power To make myself his wench but one half-hour.

FOOTNOTES:

So Isham copy.--Ed. A "he."

IN CASTOREM. XXXIV.

Of speaking well why do we learn the skill, Hoping thereby honour and wealth to gain? Sith railing Castor doth, by speaking ill, Opinion of much wit, and gold obtain.

IN SEPTIMIUM. XXXV.

Septimius lives, and is like garlic seen, For though his head be white, his blade is green. This old mad colt deserves a martyr's praise, For he was burnËd in Queen Mary's days.

FOOTNOTES:

So ed. B.--Isham copy, ed. A, and MS. "Septimus."

"Burn" is often used with an indelicate double entendre. Cf. Lear iii. 2, "No heretics burned but wenchers' suitors;" Troilus and Cressida, v. 2, "A burning devil take them."

OF TOBACCO. XXXVI.

Homer of Moly and Nepenthe sings; Moly, the gods' most sovereign herb divine, Nepenthe, Helen's drink, which gladness brings, Heart's grief expels, and doth the wit refine. But this our age another world hath found, From whence an herb of heavenly power is brought; Moly is not so sovereign for a wound, Nor hath nepenthe so great wonders wrought. It is tobacco, whose sweet subtle fume The hellish torment of the teeth doth ease, 10 By drawing down and drying up the rheum, The mother and the nurse of each disease; It is tobacco, which doth cold expel, And clears th' obstructions of the arteries, And surfeits threatening death digesteth well, Decocting all the stomach's crudities; It is tobacco, which hath power to clarify The cloudy mists before dim eyes appearing; It is tobacco, which hath power to rarify The thick gross humour which doth stop the hearing; 20 The wasting hectic, and the quartan fever, Which doth of physic make a mockery, The gout it cures, and helps ill breaths for ever, Whether the cause in teeth or stomach be; And though ill breaths were by it but confounded, Yet that vild medicine it doth far excel, Which by Sir Thomas More hath been propounded, For this is thought a gentleman-like smell. O, that I were one of these mountebanks Which praise their oils and powders which they sell! 30 My customers would give me coin with thanks; I for this ware, forsooth, a tale would tell: Yet would I use none of these terms before; I would but say, that it the pox will cure; This were enough, without discoursing more, All our brave gallants in the town t'allure.

FOOTNOTES:

Isham copy, "Heuens;" and eds. B, C "Heauens."--MS. "helevs."--Davies alludes to Odyssey iv., 219, &c.

So MS.--Old eds. "substantiall."

We are reminded of Bobadil's encomium of tobacco:--"I could say what I know of the virtue of it, for the expulsion of rheums, raw humours, crudities, obstructions, with a thousand of this kind; but I profess myself no quacksalver. Only this much: by Hercules I do hold it and will affirm it before any prince in Europe to be the most sovereign and precious weed that ever the earth tendered to the use of man."

So MS.--Not in old eds.

Dyce quotes from More's Lucubrationes (ed. 1563, p. 261), an epigram headed "MedicinÊ ad tollendos foetores anhelitus, provenientes a cibis quibusdam."

So eds. A, B, C.--Isham copy "so smooth."--MS. "so faire."