Part 1

This etext was prepared by Les Bowler from the 1899 Hurst and Blackett edition.

The Second Thoughts of An Idle Fellow

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BY JEROME K. JEROME AUTHOR OF ‘THREE MEN IN A BOAT,’ ‘IDLE THOUGHTS OF AN IDLE FELLOW,’ ‘STAGELAND,’ ‘JOHN INGERFIELD,’ ETC.

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LONDON HURST AND BLACKETT, LIMITED 13, GREAT MARLBOROUGH STREET 1899 All rights reserved

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First printing published August 17, 1898. Second printing published September 2, 1898. Third printing published November 1, 1898. Fourth printing published January 1, 1899.

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RICHARD CLAY & SONS, LIMITED, LONDON & BUNGAY.

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CONTENTS

PAGE ON THE ART OF MAKING UP ONE’S MIND 1 ON THE DISADVANTAGE OF NOT GETTING WHAT ONE WANTS 29 ON THE EXCEPTIONAL MERIT ATTACHING TO THE THINGS WE MEANT 53 TO DO ON THE PREPARATION AND EMPLOYMENT OF LOVE PHILTRES 91 ON THE DELIGHTS AND BENEFITS OF SLAVERY 119 ON THE CARE AND MANAGEMENT OF WOMEN 149 ON THE MINDING OF OTHER PEOPLE’S BUSINESS 175 ON THE TIME WASTED IN LOOKING BEFORE ONE LEAPS 215 ON THE NOBILITY OF OURSELVES 245 ON THE MOTHERLINESS OF MAN 271 ON THE INADVISABILITY OF FOLLOWING ADVICE 301 ON THE PLAYING OF MARCHES AT THE FUNERALS OF MARIONETTES 335

ON THE ART OF MAKING UP ONE’S MIND

“NOW, which would you advise, dear? You see, with the red I shan’t be able to wear my magenta hat.”

“Well then, why not have the grey?”

“Yes—yes, I think the grey will be more useful.”

“It’s a good material.”

“Yes, and it’s a pretty grey. You know what I mean, dear; not a common grey. Of course grey is always an uninteresting colour.”

“It’s quiet.”

“And then again, what I feel about the red is that it is so warm-looking. Red makes you feel warm even when you’re not warm. You know what I mean, dear!”

“Well then, why not have the red? It suits you—red.”

“No; do you really think so?”

“Well, when you’ve got a colour, I mean, of course!”

“Yes, that is the drawback to red. No, I think, on the whole, the grey is safer.”

“Then you will take the grey, madam?”

“Yes, I think I’d better; don’t you, dear?”

“I like it myself very much.”