Part 26

Thus the sense of unworthiness creates and heightens fears in the hearts of them that are coming to Jesus Christ. But indeed it should not, for who needs the physician but the sick? Or whom did Christ come into the world to save, but the chief of sinners? Wherefore, the more thou seest thy sins, the faster fly thou to Jesus Christ. As it is with the man that carrieth his broken arm in a sling to the bonesetter, still, as he thinks of his broken arm, and as he feels the pain and anguish, he hastens his pace to the man. And if Satan meets thee, and asketh, "Whither goest thou?" tell him thou art maimed, and art going to the Lord Jesus. If he objects thine own unworthiness, tell him, that even as the sick seeketh the physician; as he that hath broken bones seeks him that can set them; so thou art going to Jesus Christ for healing for thy sin-sick soul.

But it ofttimes happeneth to him that flies for his life, he despairs of escaping, and therefore delivers himself up into the hand of the pursuer. But up, up, sinner; be of good cheer; Christ came to save the unworthy one. Be not faithless, but believing. Come away, man. The Lord Jesus calls thee, saying, ".And him that cometh to me, I will in nowise cast out."

4. Thy fear that Christ will not receive thee, may arise from a sense of THE EXCEEDING MERCY OF BEING SAVED. Besides, the Holy Ghost hath a way to greaten heavenly things to the understanding of the coming sinner; yea, and at the same time to greaten, too, the sin and unworthiness of that sinner. Now, the soul staggering by wonders, saying, "What! to be made like angels, like Christ; to live in eternal bliss, joy, and felicity! This is for angels, and for them that can walk like angels."

Thus doth the greatness of the things desired quite dash and overthrow the mind of the desire. "O, it is too big, it is too big, it is too great a mercy."

But, coming sinner, let me reason with thee. Thou sayest it is too big, too great. Well, will things that are less satisfy thy soul? Will a less thing than heaven, than glory and eternal life, answer thy desires? "No, nothing less. Yet I fear they are too big, and too good for me even to obtain." Well, as big and as good as they are, God giveth them to such as thou. They are not too big for God to give; no, not too big to give freely. Be content; let God give like himself; he is that eternal God, and giveth like himself. When kings give, they do not use to give as poor men do. Now, God is a great King; let him give like a king; nay, let him give like himself, and do thou receive like thyself. He has all, and thou hast nothing.

5. Thy fears that Christ will not receive thee, may arise from THINE OWN FOLLY IN INVETING, yea, in thy chalking out to God a way to bring thee home to Jesus Christ. Some souls that are coming to Jesus Christ are great tormentors of themselves upon this account. They conclude that if their coming to Jesus Christ is right, they must needs be brought home thus and thus.

Now, I say, if God brings thee to Christ, and not by the way that thou hast appointed, then thou art at a loss; and for thy being at a loss, thou mayest thank thyself. God hath more ways than thou knowest of to bring a sinner to Jesus Christ; but he will not give thee before-hand an account by which of them he will bring thee to Christ.

Sometimes he hath his ways in the whirlwind, but sometimes the Lord is not there.

If God will deal more gently with thee than with others of his children, grudge not at it; refuse not the waters that go softly, lest he bring up to thee the waters of the rivers strong and many, even those two smoking firebrands, the devil and guilt of sin. He saith to Peter, "Follow me;" and what thunder did Zaccheus hear or see? "Zaccheus, come down," said Christ; and he came down, says Luke, and received him joyfully.

But had Peter or Zaccheus made the objection that thou hast made-looking for a heavy load of guilt, or fearful temptations of Satan-and directed the Spirit of the Lord as thou hast done, they might have looked long enough before they had found themselves coming to Jesus Christ.

Poor creature! Thou criest, "If I were tempted, I could come faster and with more confidence to Jesus Christ." Thou sayest thou knowest not what. What says Job? "Withdraw thy hand far from me, and let not thy dread make me afraid: then call thou, and I will answer; or let me speak, and answer thou me." Job 13: 21, 22. It is not the over-heavy load of sin, but the discovery of mercy-not the roaring of the devil, but the drawing of the Father, that makes a man come to Jesus Christ. I myself know all these things.

True, sometimes they that come to Jesus Christ, come the way that thou desirest-the loading, tempted way; but the Lord also leads some by the waters of comfort. If I was to choose when to go a long journey, to wit, whether I would go it in the dead of winter or in the pleasant spring-though if it was a very profitable journey, as that of coming to Christ is, I would choose to go it through fire and water before I would lose the benefit-but I say, if I might choose the time, I would choose to go in the pleasant spring, because the way would be more delightsome, the days longer and warmer, the nights shorter, and not so cold.

Trouble not thyself, coming sinner: if thou seest thy lost condition by original and actual sin; if thou seest thy need of the spotless righteousness of Jesus Christ; if thou art willing to be found in him, and to take up thy cross and follow him, then pray for a fair wind and good weather, and come away. Stick no longer in a muse and doubt about things, but come away to Jesus Christ.

6. Thy fears that Christ will not receive thee may arise from THOSE DECAYS THAT THOU FINDEST IN THY-SOUL, even while thou art coming to him. Some, even as they are coming to Jesus Christ, do find themselves grow worse and worse. To explain myself: there is such a one coming to Jesus Christ, who, when he first began to look out after him, was sensible, affectionate, and broken in spirit, but now is grown dark, senseless, hard-hearted, and inclining to neglect spiritual duties. Besides, he now finds in himself inclinations to unbelief, atheism, blasphemy, and the like; now, he finds he cannot tremble at God's word, his judgments, nor the apprehension of hell-fire; neither can he, as he thinketh, be sorry for these things.

This man is in the wilderness among wild beasts. Here he sees a bear, there a lion, yonder a leopard, a wolf, a dragon. Devils of all sorts, doubts of all sorts, fears of all sorts haunt and molest his soul. This man feeleth the infirmity of his flesh; he findeth a proneness in himself to be desperate. Now he chides with God, flings and tumbles like a wild bull in a net, and still the guilt of all returns upon himself to the crushing of him to pieces. Yet he feeleth his heart so hard that he can find, as he thinks, no kindness under any of his miscarriages. Now, he is a lump of confusion in his own eyes, whose spirit and actions are without order. "Now, I see I am lost," says the sinner; "this is not coming to Jesus Christ; such a desperately hard and wretched heart as mine is, cannot be a gracious one," saith the sinner. And bid such a one be better, he says, "I cannot; no, I cannot."

QUESTION. But what will you say to a soul in this condition?

ANSWER. I will say, that temptations have attended the best of God's people; I will say that temptations come to do us good; and I will say also, that there is a difference betwixt growing worse and worse, and thy seeing more clearly how bad thou art.

There is a man of an ill-favored countenance who hath too high a conceit of his heauty, and wanting the benefit of a glass, he still stands in his own conceit. At last a limner is sent unto him, who draweth his ill-favored face to the life. Now, looking thereon, he hegins to be convinced that he is not half so handsome as he thought he was. Coming sinner, thy temptations are these painters; they have drawn out thy ill-favored heart to the life, and have set it before thine eyes, and now thou seest how ill-favored thou art.

Some that are coming to Christ cannot lie persuaded, until the temptation comes, that they are so vile as the scripture saith they are. True, they see so much of their wretchedness as to drive them to Christ. But there is an over and above of wickedness which they see not. Peter little thought that he had had in his heart cursing and swearing and lying, and an inclination to deny his Master, before the temptation came; but when that indeed came upon him, then he found it there to his sorrow.

It may be that thy graces must be tried in the fire, that that rust which cleaveth to them may be taken away, and themselves proved, both before angels and devils, to be far better than gold that perisheth. It may be also, that thy graces are to receive special praises and honor and glory, at the coming of the Lord Jesus Christ to judgment, for all the exploits that thou hast acted by them against hell and its infernal crew, in the day of thy temptation.

But to conclude this, put the worst to the worst, and then things will be bad enough: suppose that thou art to this day without the grace of God; yet thou art but a miserable creature, a sinner that has need of a blessed Saviour; and the text presents thee with one as good and kind as heart can wish, who also for thy encouragement saith, "And him that cometh to me, I will in no wise cast out."

MERCY'S EXPERIENCE.

So the Interpreter addressed him to Mercy, and said unto her, "And what moved thee to come hither, sweetheart?"

Then Mercy blushed and trembled, and for a while continued silent.

Then said he, "Be not afraid; only believe, and speak thy mind."

Then she began, and said, "Truly, sir, my want of experience is that which makes me covet to be in silence, and that also that filleth me with fears of coming short at last. I cannot tell of visions and dreams as my friend Christiana can, nor know I what it is to mourn for my refusing of the counsel of those that were good relations."

INTERPRETER. "What was it then, dear heart, that hath prevailed with thee to do as thou hast done?"

MERCY. "Why, when our friend here was packing up to be gone from our town, [the city of Destruction,] I and another went accidentally to see her. So we knocked at the door and went in. When we were within, and seeing what she was doing, we asked her what she meant. She said she was sent for to go to her husband; and then she up and told us how she had seen him in a dream, dwelling in a curious place, among immortals, wearing a crown, playing upon a harp, eating and drinking at his Prince's table, and singing praises to him for the bringing him thither. Now methought, while she was telling these things unto us, my heart burned withm ran. And I said in my heart, 'If this be true, I will leave my father and my mother, and the land of my nativity, and will, if I may, go along with Christiana.'