Part 2

WHAT IS A BILLION

In Europe and America, the billion is 1,000,000,000--a thousand millions--but in Great Britain and her Colonies, a billion is reckoned 1,000,000,000,000--a million millions: a difference which should perhaps be worth remembering in the case of francs and dollars.

One billion sovereigns placed side by side would extend to a distance of over 18,000,000 miles, and make a band which would pass 736 times round the globe, or, if lying side by side, would form a golden belt around it over 26 ft. wide; if the sovereigns were placed on top of each other flatways, the golden column would be more than a million miles in height.

Supposing you could count at the rate of 200 a minute; then, in one hour, you could count 12,000--if you were not interrupted. Well, 12,000 an hour would be 288,000 a day; and a year, or 365 days, would produce 105,120,000. But this would not allow you a single moment for sleep, or for any other business whatever. If Adam at the beginning of his existence, had begun to count, had continued to count, and were counting still, he would not even now, according to the usually supposed age of man, have counted nearly enough. To count a billion, he would require 9,512 years, 342 days, 5 hours and 20 minutes, according to the above reckoning. But suppose we were to allow the poor counter twelve hours daily for rest, eating and sleeping, he would need 19,025 years, 319 days, 10 hours and 40 minutes to count one billion.

A comparison-- One million seconds = less than 12 days " billion " = over 31,000 years

A GOOD CATCH.

1.--Ask a person to write, in figures, eleven thousand, eleven hundred and eleven. This often proves very amusing, few being able to write it correctly at first.

2.--If the eighth of £1 be 3s, what will the fifth of a £5 note be?

=BOTHERSOME BILLS=.

Defter at the anvil than at the desk was a village blacksmith who held a customer responsible for a little account running:

To menden to broken sorspuns 4 punse To handl to a kleffr 6 " To pointen 3 iron skurrs 3 " To repairen a lanton 2 " A klapper to a bel 8 " Medsen attenden a cow sick the numoraman a bad i 6 " To arf a da elpen a fillup a taken in arvist 1 shillin To a hole da elpen a fillup a taken in arvist 2 " ---------- Totle of altigether 5 shillins and fippunse.

That the honest man’s services had been requisitioned for the mending of two saucepans, putting a new handle to an old cleaver, sharpening three blunted iron skewers, repairing a lantern, and providing a bell with a clapper is clear enough; and by resolving “a fillup” into “A. Phillip,” all obscurity is removed from the last two items, but “the numoraman a bad i” is a nut the reader must crack for himself.

ONE FROM A PUBLICAN.

He stabled a horse for a night, and sent it home next day with a bill debiting the owner:

To anos 4/6 To agitinonimom -/6 --- 5/-

A LAUNDRY BILL.

A tourist in Tasmania, being called upon to pay a native dame of the wash-tub “OOo III,” opened his eyes and ejaculated, “O!” but the good woman explained that he owed her just two and ninepence, a big O standing for a shilling, a little one for sixpence, and each I for a penny.

THE DUTCHMAN’S ACCOUNT.

Two wax dolls 15/- One wooden do 7/6 ---- Total 7/6

The two dolls were 7s 6d each, but one “wouldn’t do;” so, being returned, it was taken off the account in the above manner.

A carpenter in Melbourne who did a small job in an office, made out his bill:

To hanging one door and myself 14s.

A BILL MADE OUT BY A MAN WHO COULD NOT WRITE.

This is an exact copy of a bill sent by a bricklayer to a gentleman for work done. Date, 1798.

The bill reads thus: Two men and a boy, ¾ of a day, 2 hods of mortar, 10s 10d. Settled.

A BILL FROM AN IRISH TAILOR.

To receipting a pair of trousers 5s.

QUITE RIGHT.