Part 95

If "ifs" an' "ans" were kettles an' pans there would be nae use for tinklers.

"Were it not for 'if' and 'but,' we should all be rich for ever."--French.

If I had a dog as daft, I wad shoot him.

Signifying that mischievous or silly doings should be put a stop to.

If I had you at Maggy Mill's house, I would get word about wi' ye.

Used when, in argument or dispute, a man has not a proper opportunity to defend himself.

If I hae done amiss, I'll mak amends.

If I live anither year, I'll ca' this fern-year.

If I'm no kind I'm no cumbersome.

If it be a faut it's nae ferlie.

Or, it is no wonder, as any other result should not have been expected.

If it be ill it's as ill rused.

"Spoken of those who discommend what we have."--Kelly.

If it can be nae better, it's weel it's nae waur.

If it sair me to wear, it may sair you to look at.

A pertinent reply to those who find fault with a person's dress.

If it werena for hope the heart would break.

If it werena for the belly the back wad wear gowd.

If it winna be a gude shoe we'll mak a bauchel o't.

If it winna sell it winna sour.

Meaning that an article is good, and will not spoil by keeping.

If marriages are made in heaven, you twa hae few friends there.

If ony body speir at ye, say ye dinna ken.

Meaning that a person is unwilling to give another some information.

"'Madge,' said Ratcliffe, 'have ye ony joes now?' 'An ony body ask ye, say ye dinna ken. Set him to be speaking of my joes, auld Daddie Ratton!'"--Heart of Midlothian.

If she was my wife I would mak a queen o' her.

If strokes be gude to gie they'll be gude to tak.

If that God gie the deil daurna reive.