Part 30

LADY MOGTON. (To JAWBONES.) Do you know where Mr. Chilvers is?

(There comes a bloodthirsty yell from the crowd outside.)

JAWBONES. Not unless that’s ’im. (He finishes for the time being with the fire. Rises.)

(JANET enters.)

LADY MOGTON. Was that you they were yelling at?

JANET. No, it’s Mr. Sigsby.

(Another yell is heard. Out of it a shrill female voice—“Mind ’is fice; yer spoiling it!”)

The Woman’s Laundry Union have taken such a strong dislike to him.

(A final yell. Then a voice: “That’s taken some of the starch out of him!” followed by a shriek of laughter.)

JAWBONES. ’E only suggested as ’ow there was enough old washerwomen in Parliament as it was.

LADY MOGTON. A most unnecessary remark. It will teach him—

(SIGSBY enters, damaged. His appearance is comic. LADY MOGTON makes no effort to repress a grim smile.)

SIGSBY. Funny, ain’t it?

LADY MOGTON. I am sorry.

SIGSBY. (He snarls.) “The Mother’s Hand shall Help Us!” One of your posters, I think.

LADY MOGTON. You shouldn’t have insulted them—calling them old washerwomen!

SIGSBY. Insult! Can’t one indulge in a harmless jeu d’esprit—(he pronounces it according to his own ideas)—without having one’s clothes torn off one’s back? (Fiercely.) What do you mean by it—disgracing your sex?

LADY MOGTON. Are you addressing me?

SIGSBY. All of you. Upsetting the foundations upon which society has been reared—the natural and lawful subjection of the woman to the man. Why don’t you read St. Paul?

LADY MOGTON. St. Paul was addressing Christians. When men behave like Christians there will be no need of Votes for Women. You read St. Paul on men. (To JANET.) I shall want you!

(She goes out, followed by JANET.)

(SIGSBY gives vent to a gesture.)

JAWBONES. Getting saucy, ain’t they?

SIGSBY. Over-indulgence. That’s what the modern woman is suffering from. Gets an idea on Monday that she’d like the whole world altered; if it isn’t done by Saturday, raises hell! Where’s the guv’nor?

JAWBONES. Hasn’t been here.

SIGSBY. (Hands JAWBONES his damaged hat.) See if they can do anything to that. If not, get me a new one. (He forks out a sovereign.) Sure to be some shops open in the High Street.

(LAMB and ST. HERBERT enter.)

LAMB. Hallo! have they been mauling you?