Part 5

The sentence remained unfinished, for the lady added,

"I wrote myself to Madame Laffarge, not long since. I am sorry to say Lady Holberton has two of hers; but although an excellent person in most respects, yet it cannot be denied that as regards autographs, Lady Holberton is very illiberal. I offered her Grizzel Baillie, two Cardinals, William Pitt, and Grace Darling, for one of her Laffarges; but she would not part with it. Yet the exchange was very fair, especially as Madame Laffarge is still living."

{Madame Laffarge = Marie Lafarge (1816-1853), French woman convicted in 1840 for poisoning her husband; later pardoned. Grizzel Baillie = Lady Grizel Baillie (1665-1746), Scottish poet. William Pitt = either William Pitt "the Elder" (1708-1778) or William Pitt "the Younger" (1759-1806), both British Prime Ministers. Grace Darling = Grace Darling (1815-1842), English heroine and lighthouse keeper's daughter, famous for her rescue of castaways in 1838.}

I bowed an assent to the remark.

"And then she herself actually once made proposals for Schinderhannes, to a friend of mine, offering Howard, the philanthropist, Talma, William Penn, and Fenelon for him--all commonplace enough, you know--and Schinderhannes quite unique. My friend was indignant!"

{Schinderhannes = German bandit chief, executed in 1803. Howard = John Howard (1726-1790), English philanthropist and prison reformer. Talma = Francois Talma (1763-1826), popular French playwright. William Penn (1644-1718), Quaker founder of Pennsylvania. Fenelon = Francois Fenelon (1651-1715), French Archbishop and writer}

I ventured to excuse Lady Holberton by suggesting that probably at the time her stock of notabilities was low.

Miss Rowley shook her head, and curled her lip, as if she fancied the lady had only been seeking to drive a hard bargain.

"On one point, however, I have carried the day, Mr. Howard. Lady Holberton is not a little proud of her Vidocq; but I have obtained one far superior to hers, one addressed to myself so piquant and gallant too. I called on the dear old burglar on purpose to coax him into writing me a note."

{Vidocq = Francois Vidocq (1775-1857), French police detective who turned robber, and was exposed in 1832.}

I wondered, in petto, whether I should meet any illustrious convicts at Miss Rowley's party the next evening; but remembering to have heard her called an exclusive, it did not seem very probable.

{in petto = silently, to oneself (Latin)}

After running her eye over the list again, Miss Rowley made another inquiry.

"Mr. Howard, could you get me something from an American Colonel?"

I assured the lady we had colonels of all sorts, and begged to know what particular variety she had placed on her catalogue--was it an officer of the regular service, or one of no service at all?

"Oh, the last, certainly--officers who have seen service are so commonplace!"

My own pen was immediately placed at Miss Rowley's disposal, as my sword would have been, had I owned one. As I had been called colonel a hundred times without having commanded a regiment once, my own name was as good as any other on the present occasion.

"You are very obliging. Since you are so good, may I also trouble you to procure me a line from a very remarkable personage of your country--a very distinguished man--he has been President, or Speaker of the Senate, or something of that sort."

To which of our head men did Miss Rowley allude?

"He is called Uncle Sam, I believe."

{Uncle Sam = "Uncle Sam" became a popular personification of the United States during the War of 1812, replacing Brother Jonathan, and was often used in contradistinction to the British "John Bull"}

This was not so easy a task, for though we have thousands of colonels, there is but one Uncle Sam in the world. On hearing that such was the case, Miss Rowley's anxiety on the subject increased immeasurably; but I assured her the old gentleman only put his name to treaties, and tariffs; and although his sons were wonderfully gallant, yet he himself had never condescended to notice any woman but a queen regnant: and I further endeavored to give some idea of his identity. Miss Rowley stopped me short, however.

"Only procure me one line from him, Mr. Howard, and I shall be indebted to you for life. It will be time enough to find out all about him when I once have his name--that is the essential thing."

I shrunk from committing myself, however; declaring that I would as soon engage to procure a billet-doux from Prester John.

{Prester John = Mythical ruler believed in the Middle Ages to head a powerful Christian Kingdom somewhere in Asia; later identified with the Christian Kings of Ethiopia in Africa}

"Prester John! That would, indeed, be quite invaluable!"

This Asiatic diversion was a happy one, and came very apropos, for it carried Miss Rowley into China; she inquired if I had any Chinese connections.

"Though altogether, I am pretty well satisfied with my Chinese negotiations; as soon as the Celestial Empire was opened to the civilized world, I engaged an agent there to collect for me. But, could you put me on the track of a Confucius?"