OFFICIAL. [Again making his gesture] 'Aber er muss'!
'Sag' Ihm': Instantly put down baby, and komm' mit us.
LITTLE MAN. Leave the poor ill baby here alone? Be--be--be d---d to you!
AMERICAN. [Jumping on to a trunk--with enthusiasm] Bully!
AMERICAN. What does that body-snatcher say?
GERMAN. He say this man use the baby to save himself from arrest. Very smart he say.
AMERICAN. I judge you do him an injustice. [Showing off the LITTLE MAN with a sweep of his arm.] This is a white man. He's got a black baby, and he won' leave it in the lurch. Guess we would all act noble that way, give us the chance.
AMERICAN. [Addressing the OFFICIAL] Guess you'd better go out of business and wait for the mother.
OFFICIAL. [Stamping his foot] Die Mutter sall 'rested be for taking out baby mit typhus. Ha! [To the LITTLE MAN] Put ze baby down!
Do you 'ear?
AMERICAN. [Addressing the OFFICIAL] Now, see here. 'Pears to me you don't suspicion just how beautiful this is. Here we have a man giving his life for that old baby that's got no claim on him. This is not a baby of his own making. No, sir, this is a very Christ-like proposition in the gentleman.
OFFICIAL. Put ze baby down, or ich will goummand someone it to do.
AMERICAN. That will be very interesting to watch.
OFFICIAL. [To POLICEMAN] Dake it vrom him.
AMERICAN. [To the German] Guess I lost that.
GERMAN. He say he is not his officier.
AMERICAN. That just tickles me to death.
OFFICIAL. [Looking round] Vill nobody dake ze Bub'?
ENGLISHWOMAN. [Moving a step faintly] Yes--I----
ENGLISHMAN. [Grasping her arm]. By Jove! Will you!
OFFICIAL. [Gathering himself for a great effort to take the BABY, and advancing two steps] Zen I goummand you--[He stops and his voice dies away] Zit dere!
AMERICAN. My! That's wonderful. What a man this is! What a sublime sense of duty!
MOTHER. 'Ach! Ach! Mei' Bubi'!
OFFICIAL. [To the POLICEMAN] 'Nimm die Frau'!
OFFICIAL. [To the frightened WOMAN] 'Warum haben Sie einen Buben mit Typhus mit ausgebracht'?
AMERICAN. [Eagerly, from his perch] What was that? I don't want to miss any.
GERMAN. He say: Why did you a baby with typhus with you bring out?
AMERICAN. Well, that's quite a question.
The Little Man: a Farcical Morality in Three Scenes · The Wunder Library — complete classics, free to read, with narration.