Part 5

MRS. ROBERTS: ‘Oh, my goodness, what’s that? It’s the garotters—I know it is; and we shall all be murdered in our beds!’

MRS. CRASHAW: ‘What in the world can it—’

WILLIS: ‘Why don’t your girl answer the bell, Agnes? Or I’ll go myself.’ The bell rings violently again.

MRS. ROBERTS: ‘No, Willis, you sha’n’t! Don’t leave me, Edward! Aunt Mary!—Oh, if we must die, let us all die together! Oh, my poor children! Ugh! What’s that?’ The servant-maid opens the outer door, and uttering a shriek, rushes in through the drawing-room portière.

BELLA THE MAID: ‘Oh, my goodness! Mrs. Roberts, it’s Mr. Bemis!’

MRS. ROBERTS: ‘Which Mr. Bemis?’

ROBERTS: ‘What’s the matter with him?’

MRS. CRASHAW: ‘Why doesn’t she show him in?’

WILLIS: ‘Has he been garotting somebody too?’

SCENE IV: MR. BEMIS, MR. CAMPBELL, MR. AND MRS. ROBERTS

BEMIS, appearing through the portière: ‘I—I beg your pardon, Mrs. Roberts. I oughtn’t to present myself in this state—I— But I thought I’d better stop on my way home and report, so that my son needn’t be alarmed at my absence when he comes. I—’ He stops, exhausted, and regards the others with a wild stare, while they stand taking note of his disordered coat, his torn vest, and his tumbled hat. ‘I’ve just been robbed—’

MRS. ROBERTS: ‘Robbed? Why, Edward has been robbed too.’

BEMIS: ‘—coming through the Common—’

MRS. ROBERTS: ‘Yes, Edward was coming through the Common.’

BEMIS: ‘—of my watch—’

MRS. ROBERTS, in rapturous admiration of the coincidence: ‘Oh, and it was Edward’s watch they took!’

WILLIS: ‘It’s a parallel case, Agnes. Pour him out a glass of cologne to drink, and rub his head with brandy. And you might let him sit down and rest while you’re enjoying the excitement.’

MRS. ROBERTS, in hospitable remorse: ‘Oh, what am I thinking of! Here, Edward—or no, you’re too weak, you mustn’t. Willis, you help me to help him to the sofa.’

MRS. CRASHAW: ‘I think you’d better help him off with his overcoat and his arctics.’ To the maid: ‘Here, Bella, if you haven’t quite taken leave of your wits, undo his shoes.’

ROBERTS: ‘I’ll help him off with his coat—’

BEMIS: ‘Careful! careful! I may be injured internally.’

MRS. ROBERTS: ‘Oh, if you only were, Mr. Bemis, perhaps I could persuade Edward that he was too: I know he is. Edward, don’t exert yourself! Aunt Mary, will you stop him, or do you all wish to see me go distracted here before your eyes?’

WILLIS, examining the overcoat which Roberts has removed: ‘Well, you won’t have much trouble buttoning and unbuttoning this coat for the present.’

BEMIS: ‘They tore it open, and tore my watch from my vest pocket—’

WILLIS, looking at the vest: ‘I see. Pretty lively work. Were there many of them?’

BEMIS: ‘There must have been two at least—’

MRS. ROBERTS: ‘There were half a dozen in the gang that attacked Edward.’

BEMIS: ‘One of them pulled me violently over on my back—’