Part 12

“Defeat for the city,” said Boswell. “Failing to enforce its authority by means of its servants, the city undertook to recover by due process of law. The dog-catchers were powerless; the police declined to act on the advice of the commissioners, since dog-catching was not within their province; and the fire department averred that it was designed for the putting out of fires and not for extinguishing fiery canines like Cerberus. The dog, meanwhile, to show his contempt for the city, chewed the license-tag off the neck upon which it had been placed, and dropped it into a smelting-pot inside the gates of the infernal regions that was reserved to bring political prisoners to their senses, and, worse than all, made a perfect nuisance of himself by barking all day and baying all night, rain or shine.”

“Papers in a suit at law were then served on Mazarin and the other members of Apollyon's council, the causes of complaint were recited, and damages for ten years back taxes on two dogs, plus the amounts recovered from the city by the two injured dog-catchers, were demanded. The suit was put upon the calendar, and Apollyon himself sat upon the bench with Judge Blackstone, before whom the case was to be tried.

“On both sides the arguments were exceedingly strong. Coke appeared for the city and Catiline for the State. After the complaint was read, the attorney for the State put in his answer, that the State's contention was that the ordinance had been complied with, that Cerberus was only one dog, and that the license had been paid; that the license having been paid, the dog-catchers had no right to endeavor to abduct the animal, and that having done so they did it at their own peril; that the suit ought to be dismissed, but that for the fun of it the State was perfectly willing to let it go on.

“In rebuttal the plaintiff claimed that Cerberus was three dogs to all intents and purposes, and the first dog-catcher was called to testify. After giving his name and address he was asked a few questions of minor importance, and then Coke asked:

“'Are you familiar with dogs?'

“'Moderately,' was the answer. 'I never got quite so intimate with one as I did with him.'

“'With whom?' asked Coke.

“'Cerberus,' replied the witness.

“'Do you consider him to be one dog, two dogs or three dogs?'

“'I object!' cried Catiline, springing to his feet. 'The question is a leading one.'

“'Sustained,' said Blackstone, with a nervous glance at Apollyon, who smiled reassuringly at him.

“'Ah, you say you know a dog when you see one?' asked Coke.

“'Yes,' said the witness, 'perfectly.'

“'Do you know two dogs when you see them, or even three?' asked Coke.

“'I do,' replied the witness.

“'And how many dogs did you see when you saw Cerberus?' asked Coke, triumphantly.

“'Three, anyhow,' replied the witness, with feeling, 'though afterwards I thought there was a whole bench-show atop of me.'

“'Your witness,' said Coke.

“A murmur of applause went through the court-room, at which Apollyon frowned; but his face cleared in a moment when Catiline rose up.

“'My cross-examination of this witness, your honor, will be confined to one question.' Then turning to the witness he said, blandly: 'My poor friend, if you considered Cerberus to be three dogs anyhow, why did you in your examination a moment since refer to the avalanche of caninity, of which you so affectingly speak, as him?'

“'He is a him,' said the witness.

“'But if there were three, should he not have been a them?'

“Coke swore profanely beneath his breath, and the witness squirmed about in his chair, confused and broken, while both Judge Blackstone and Apollyon smiled broadly. Manifestly the point of the defence had pierced the armor of the plaintiff.

“'Your witness for re-direct,' said Catiline.

“'No thanks,' retorted Coke; 'there are others,' and, motioning to his first witness to step down, he called the second dog-catcher.

“'What is your business?' asked Coke, after the usual preliminary questions.

“'I'm out of business. Livin' on my damages,' said the witness.

“'What damages?' asked Coke.