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Part 67

The Doctor : a Tale of the Rockies · Ralph Connor — chapter 67 of 82 · ~1,939 words · public domain

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When it became evident beyond dispute that his old-time enemy was to take the preacher's place, “Mexico” leaned over to his pal, “Peachy” Bud, who sat between him and Tommy Tate, and muttered in an undertone audible to those in his immediate neighbourhood, “It's his old game. He's runnin' a blank bluff. He ain't got the cards.”

But painful experience shook “Peachy's” confidence in his friend's judgment on this particular point, and he only ventured to reply, “He's got the lead.” “Peachy” preferred to await developments.

The opening hymn was sung with the hearty fervour that marks the musical part of any religious service in the West. But there was in the voices that curious thrill that is at once the indication and the quickening of intense excitement.

“This here'll show what's in his hand,” said “Peachy,” when the moment for prayer arrived. “Peachy” was not unfamiliar with religious services, and had, with unusual keenness of observation, noted that when a man undertook to pray he must, if he be true, reveal the soul within him.

“Mexico” grunted a dubious affirmative. But “Peachy” was disappointed, for in a voice reverent, but unimpassioned, the preacher for the day led the people's devotions, using the great words taught those men long ago who knew not how to pray, “Our Father who art in Heaven.”

“Blanked if he ain't bluffed again! We've got to wait till he begins to shoot, I guess,” said “Peachy,” mixing his figures.

The lesson was the parable of the unforgiving debtor and the parallel passage containing the matchless story of the sinful woman and the proud Pharisee. In the reading of these lessons the voice, which had hitherto carried the strident note of nervousness, mellowed into rich and subduing fulness. The men listened with that hushed attention that they give when words are getting to the heart. The utter simplicity of the reader's manner, the dignity of his bearing, the quiet strength that showed itself in every tone, and the undercurrent of emotion that made the voice vibrate like a stringed instrument, all these, with the marvellous authoritative tenderness of the great utterance on a theme so closely touching their daily experience, gripped these men and held them in complete thrall.

When the reading was done the doctor stood for some moments looking his audience quietly in the face. He knew them all, men from the camps and the line, men from the hills and mining claims, men from the saloons and the gambling hells. Many he had treated professionally, some he had himself nursed back to health, others he had rescued from those desperate moods that end in death. Others again--and these not a few--he had “cleaned out” at poker or “Black Jack.” But to all of them he was “white.” Not so to himself. It was a very humble man and a very penitent, that stood looking them in the face. His first words were a confession.

“I am not worthy to stand here before you,” he began, in a low, clear tone, “God knows, you know, and I know. I am here for two reasons: one is that I promised my brother, the Reverend Richard Boyle”--here a gasp of surprise was audible from one and another in the audience--“a man you know to be a good man, better than ever I can hope to be.”

“Durned if he is!” grunted “Peachy” to “Mexico.” “Ain't in the same bunch!”

“An' that's thrue fer ye,” answered Tommy. But “Mexico” paid no heed to these remarks. He was staring at the speaker with the look of a man wholly bewildered.

“And the other reason is,” continued, the doctor, “that I have something which I think it fair to tell you men. Like a lot of you, I have carried a name that is not my own.” Here significant looks were gravely exchanged. “They gave it to me by mistake when I reached the Pass. I didn't care much at that time about names or anything else, so I let it go. There are times in a fellow's life when he's not unwilling to forget his name. My name is Boyle.” And then, in sentences simple, clean-cut, and terse, he told of his boyhood days, the Old Mill, the two boys growing up together, their love for and their loyalty to each other, their struggles and their success. Then came a pause. The speaker had obviously come to a difficult spot in his story. The men waited in earnest, grave, and deeply moved expectation. “At that time a great calamity came to me--no matter what--and it threw me clear off my balance. I lost my head and lost my nerve, and just then--” again the speaker paused, as if to gather strength to continue--“and just then my brother did me a wrong. Not being in a condition to judge fairly, I magnified the wrong a thousand-fold and I tried to tear my brother out of my heart. I could not and I would not forgive him, and I couldn't cease to love him. I lived a life of misery, misery so great that it drove me from everything in earth that I held dear, and for three years I went steadily down from bad to worse. I came to the Crow's Nest a year and a half ago. My life since then most of you know well.”

“Bedad we do! An' Hivin bliss ye!” burst forth Tommy Tate, who had found the greatest difficulty in controlling his emotions of indignation and grief during the doctor's self-condemnatory tale. At Tommy's words a quiet thrill ran through the crowd, for few men of those present but held the doctor in affectionate esteem. The sins of which he was conscious and which humiliated him before them were, in their estimation, but trivial.

For a moment the speaker was thrown off his track by Tommy's outburst, but, recovering himself, he went on. “It would be wrong to say that my life here has been all bad. I have been able to serve many of you, but my work has done far more for me than it has for you. But for it I should have long ago gone down out of sight. I confess that it has been a hard fight for me, an awful fight, to stay at my work, but the day that I heard that my brother was your missionary brought me the hardest fight I had had for many a day. I wanted to get away from the past. For nearly four years I had been carrying round a heart with hell in it. I had begun to forget a little, but that day it all came back. This week I met my brother. I found him dying, almost dead, up in the Big Horn Valley. That morning my heart carried hell in it. To-day it is like what I think heaven must be.” As he spoke these words a light broke over his face, and again he stood silent, striving to regain control of his voice.

“Blanked if he don't hold the cards!” said “Mexico” in a thick voice to “Peachy” Budd.

“Full flush,” answered “Peachy.”

“Mexico” was in the grasp of the elemental emotions of his untutored nature. His swarthy face was twisted like the face of a man in torture. His black eyes were gleaming like two fires from under his shaggy eyebrows.

“How it came about,” continued the doctor, in a quiet, even tone, “I am not going to tell. But this I am going to say, I know it was God's great mercy, His great kindness it was that took the hate out of my heart. I forgave my brother that day--and--God forgave me. That's all there is to it. It's the biggest thing that has ever come to me. I have got my brother back just as when we were little chaps at the Old Mill.” A sudden choke caught the speaker's voice. The firm lips quivered and the strong hands writhed themselves in a mighty effort to master the emotions surging through his soul.

Tommy Tate was openly sniffling and wiping his eyes. “Peachy” Budd was swearing audibly his emotions, but, most of all, “Mexico's” swarthy face betrayed the intensity of his feelings. He had grasped the back of the seat before him and was leaning toward the speaker as if held under an hypnotic spell.

Again the doctor, getting his voice steady, went on. “I have just a word more to say. I would like to give credit for this that happened to me to the One we have been reading about this afternoon, and I do so with all my heart. I came near being coward enough and mean enough to go away without owning this up before you. How He did it, I do not pretend to know. I'm not a preacher. But He did it, and that's what chiefly concerns me. And what He did for me I guess He can do for any of you. And now I've got to square up some things. 'Mexico'--” At the sound of his name “Mexico” started violently and, involuntarily, his hand went, with a quick motion, toward his hip--“I've taken a lot from you. I'd like to pay it back.” The voice was humble, earnest, kind.

“Mexico,” taken by surprise, shifted his tobacco to the other side of his mouth, stood up and drawled out, “Haow? Me? Pay me back? Blanked if you do! It was a squar' deal, wa'n't it?”

“Yes, I played fair, 'Mexico,' but--”

“Then go to hell!” “Mexico's” tone was not at all unfriendly, but his vocabulary was limited, and he was evidently deeply stirred. “We're squar' an'--an' blanked if I don't believe ye're white! Put it thar!” With a single stride “Mexico” was over the seat that separated him from the platform and reached out his hand. The doctor took it in a hard grip.

“Look here, men,” he said, when “Mexico” had resumed his seat, “I've got to do something with this money. I've got at least five thousand that don't belong to me.”

“'Tain't ours,” called a voice.

“Men,” continued the doctor, “I'm starting out on a new track. I want to straighten out the past all I can. I can't keep this money. I'd feel like a thief.”

But such an ethical code was beyond the men, and one and all protested to each other, in tones that were quite audible over the hall and with anathemas of more or less terrible import, that the money was not theirs and that they would not touch it. The doctor listened for a minute or more and then, with the manner of one closing a discussion, he said, “All right. If you won't help me I'll have to find some way, myself, of straightening this up. This is all I have to say. I'm no preacher and I'm not any better than the rest of you, but I'd like to be a great deal better man than I am, and, with God's help, I'm going to try. That's my religion.”

And with these words he sat down, leaving the people still staring at him and waiting for something in the way of closing exercises to what must have been the most extraordinary religious service in all their experience. Softly, Margaret began to play the old hymn, “Nearer, My God, to Thee!” The men, accepting it as a signal, rose to their feet and began to sing, and with these great words of aspiration ringing through their hearts they passed out into the night.

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