Part 49

REPENTANCE, n. The faithful attendant and follower of Punishment. It is usually manifest in a degree of reformation that is not inconsistent with continuity of sin.

Desirous to avoid the pains of Hell, You will repent and join the Church, Parnell? How needless!--Nick will keep you off the coals And add you to the woes of other souls.

Jomater Abemy

REPLICA, n. A reproduction of a work of art, by the artist that made the original. It is so called to distinguish it from a "copy," which is made by another artist. When the two are made with equal skill the replica is the more valuable, for it is supposed to be more beautiful than it looks.

REPORTER, n. A writer who guesses his way to the truth and dispels it with a tempest of words.

"More dear than all my bosom knows, O thou Whose 'lips are sealed' and will not disavow!" So sang the blithe reporter-man as grew Beneath his hand the leg-long "interview."

Barson Maith

REPOSE, v.i. To cease from troubling.

REPRESENTATIVE, n. In national politics, a member of the Lower House in this world, and without discernible hope of promotion in the next.

REPROBATION, n. In theology, the state of a luckless mortal prenatally damned. The doctrine of reprobation was taught by Calvin, whose joy in it was somewhat marred by the sad sincerity of his conviction that although some are foredoomed to perdition, others are predestined to salvation.

REPUBLIC, n. A nation in which, the thing governing and the thing governed being the same, there is only a permitted authority to enforce an optional obedience. In a republic, the foundation of public order is the ever lessening habit of submission inherited from ancestors who, being truly governed, submitted because they had to. There are as many kinds of republics as there are graduations between the despotism whence they came and the anarchy whither they lead.

REQUIEM, n. A mass for the dead which the minor poets assure us the winds sing o'er the graves of their favorites. Sometimes, by way of providing a varied entertainment, they sing a dirge.

RESIDENT, adj. Unable to leave.

RESIGN, v.t. To renounce an honor for an advantage. To renounce an advantage for a greater advantage.

'Twas rumored Leonard Wood had signed A true renunciation Of title, rank and every kind Of military station-- Each honorable station.

By his example fired--inclined To noble emulation, The country humbly was resigned To Leonard's resignation-- His Christian resignation.

Politian Greame

RESOLUTE, adj. Obstinate in a course that we approve.

RESPECTABILITY, n. The offspring of a liaison between a bald head and a bank account.

RESPIRATOR, n. An apparatus fitted over the nose and mouth of an inhabitant of London, whereby to filter the visible universe in its passage to the lungs.

RESPITE, n. A suspension of hostilities against a sentenced assassin, to enable the Executive to determine whether the murder may not have been done by the prosecuting attorney. Any break in the continuity of a disagreeable expectation.

Altgeld upon his incandescent bed Lay, an attendant demon at his head.

"O cruel cook, pray grant me some relief-- Some respite from the roast, however brief."

"Remember how on earth I pardoned all Your friends in Illinois when held in thrall."

"Unhappy soul! for that alone you squirm O'er fire unquenched, a never-dying worm.

"Yet, for I pity your uneasy state, Your doom I'll mollify and pains abate.

"Naught, for a season, shall your comfort mar, Not even the memory of who you are."

Throughout eternal space dread silence fell; Heaven trembled as Compassion entered Hell.