Section V. the Conjugation of the Auxiliary Verbs to Have and to Be.

We have observed that boys, in conjugating verbs, give no indications of delight, except that which an ingenious disposition always feels in the acquisition of knowledge. Now, having arrived at that part of the Grammar in which it becomes necessary that these same verbs should be considered, we feel ourselves in an awkward dilemma. The omission of the conjugations is a serious omission--which, of course, is objectionable in a comic work--and the insertion of them would be equally serious, and therefore quite as improper. What shall we do? We will adopt a middle course; referring the reader to Murray and other talented authors for full information on these matters; and requesting him to be content with our confining ourselves {059}to what is more especially suitable to these pages--a glance at the Comicalities of verbs.

If being a youngster I had not been smitten, Of having been jilted I should not complain, Take warning from me all ye lads who are bitten, When this part of Grammar occurs to your brain.

As there is a certain intensity of feeling abroad, which renders people indisposed to trouble themselves with verbal matters, we shall take the liberty of making very short work of the Regular Verbs. Even Murray can only afford to conjugate one example,--To Love. The learner must amplify this part of the Grammar for himself: and we recommend him to substitute for "to love," some word less harrowing to a sensitive mind: as, "to fleece, to tax," verbs which excite disagreeable emotions only in a sordid one; and which also, by association of ideas, conduct us to useful reflections on Political Economy. We advise all whom it may concern, however, to pay the greatest attention to this part of the Grammar, and before they come to the Verbs Regular, to make a particular study of the Auxiliary Verbs: not only for the excellent reasons set forth, in "Tristram Shandy," but also to avoid those awkward mistakes in which the Comicalities of the Verbs, or Verbal Comicalities, chiefly consist.

"Did it rain to-morrow?" asked Monsieur Grenouille.

"Yes it was!" replied Monsieur Crapaud.

We propose the following as an auxiliary mode of conjugating verbs:--"I love to roam on the crested foam, Thou lovest to roam on the crested foam, He loves to roam on the crested foam, We love to roam on the {060}crested foam, Ye or you love to roam on the crested foam, They love to roam on the crested foam," &c.

The Auxiliary Verbs, too, are very useful when a peculiar emphasis is required: as, "I shall give you a drubbing!"

"Will you?"

"I know a trick worth two of that."

"Do you, though?"

"It might" as the Quaker said to the Yankee, who wanted to know what his name might be; "it might be Beelzebub, but it is not."

Now we may as well say what we have to say about the conjugation of regular verbs active.