Part 19

If it is expected that he should stand erect before any woman, he should before the women of his mother's race. Off will go his hat, if even asked a question. His voice, his eyes, his backbone, his heels, all reflect his mother and her training. In spite of protest he will never sit if a woman is standing unless he is ill or a cripple. Especially does he exhibit the mother training he has received from his manner in his actions to colored women.

If he is expected to speak respectfully to any woman he should to the women of his mother's race.

If he works faithfully for any woman who employs him he should work faithfully for a woman of his mother's race.

When he marries he should select a woman of his mother's race--a Colored Woman. His mother will teach him that a good wife is about the best thing in the world.

He will be taught to support and trust his wife as he did his mother and never doubt her until he has positive proof that she is unworthy. He will never publicly put another woman before his wife if he lives with her. As long as a wife bears his name and stays under his roof she is entitled to the respect that her title is supposed to carry. He would never go about complaining of his wife for that is small and cowardly. He will tip his hat as gallantly to his wife as to another woman and kiss her with uncovered head to show his respect to the woman he has chosen to bear his name.

The son of the colored mother beautiful will not smoke in the presence of his wife or friends unless he is sure it is unobjectionable and he should regard this as a privilege rather than a masculine right. He will be taught to wear his coat at table and regard it also as a privilege if he appears otherwise. He will be taught that it is unmanly to tattle and gossip.

He will be taught that it is vulgar and low to quarrel especially in the home. No man will strike a woman no matter what the provocation might be any more than it would have been right for his father to strike his mother. A man who is unable to control himself in anger is a weak man and is hardly fit to be a husband, much less father. Belonging to a race full of impulse and emotion he must be taught to control his emotions as he would his appetite. Culture and manliness are really restraint.

He will be taught to remember the vital sex difference in strength and physique and will not permit a woman to lift or reach unnecessarily--not even to help with his coat. He will not preach a double standard of morality for the men and women unless he practices what he preaches and has always been pure.

Early in the boy's life the colored mother beautiful will teach him to keep as pure in thought and deed as girls are expected to be. He will be given a right idea of the sacred sex organs and will be taught their health--value and the price of their abuse. Self mastery will be the watchword in thought, even in sleep and recreation.

The colored mother beautiful will teach her son not to lie and steal or to use intoxicants and profane language. She will teach him to keep both his inward and outward body clean. She shall insist that he keep his lips "in" while his chest will be out. The son will be taught the value of a good name and that fondness for work is one of the best recommendations in the world. He will be taught not to scorn or neglect his chores and to help his mother in the housework, not only because it is his duty but because it will prepare him for the duties of married life when he may be able to help his wife or instruct her if it should be necessary.

The colored mother beautiful will teach her son to be a little man and not to receive "penny tips" like a beggar. He should be taught to do neighborly favors without pay, after first asking his mother for permission. If he must have money let him work for wages that he may be his own business boss. He should never be permitted to ask any one but his parents for pennies and he should be encouraged not to expect or accept them.

A boy should be expected to walk with a graceful carriage and present an attractive personal appearance in the way of clothes, teeth, hair and nails as well as a girl.

Early in life he should be taught to invest in a savings bank, to get the saving habit.

The habit of reading good books should be made a part of his daily work as a preparation for the idle hour when he would otherwise seek excitement and harmful association.

A boy should be taught the duties of married life and what to expect from a good wife.

He should be warned of pitfalls and how vicious girls and women play upon men's physical weaknesses for selfish purposes. Any abuse or excess may ruin his health and happiness.

He should be taught to appreciate the qualities in a girl which will make congeniality during the long married life which has trials of which courtship never dreams.

He should be taught to seek and appreciate good, respectable girls and to associate with the best people.

If the day should come to the colored Mother Beautiful when after years of patient sacrifice and toil, all her hopes and dreams are cruelly dashed to earth and the child so carefully nurtured refuses to do her duty to parent and race and will not help to make the race and world better by having lived in it, or, when perhaps, the child is a disgrace to her parents and the race, the mother must conceal her agony and grief and still keep a serene countenance.

In silent meditation she looks back over all the years in which she has tried to rear a creditable member of the race and society. If, after honest review, down in her heart she can truthfully say, "I have raised my child to the best of my knowledge," then she may leave the rest in the hands of the "Creator." Perhaps he will reward her efforts, in a future generation, while she is yet on earth.

A disappointed colored Mother Beautiful does not envy other Mothers nor does she criticise their daughters.

Suffering opens the door to a wider vision in life and if she looks around she will find forgetfulness in helping others. It is never too late to begin.

Perhaps the Colored Mother Beautiful will be spared to see the day when her children leave the home honorably. Although it almost breaks her heart because she is no more to be the guiding light and comforter, she yields the sceptre of authority gracefully and willingly and steps into the background. She may see a rough voyage ahead for the young life travelers, but she may not interfere nor advise these loved ones unless asked. Even then she remembers that experience is the greatest teacher and strengthener and that it is best for them to walk life's journey alone.

The peace and contentment that comes from having done her whole duty gives her a spiritual beauty of countenance that comes from the other world; the habit of right living through right thought, reflects in her face and gives her a physical beauty that comes in no other way.

At the last, the Still Small Voice Whispers, "Well done, thou good and faithful servant of a persecuted race. You have done what you could. No one can do more. Receive your eternal reward," and the face is illumined with the beauty that shall endure forever.

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Transcriber's note

The following changes have been made to the text: