Part 10

The time has arrived for new thoughts, new studies, and new habits. Colored women must be led along the new lines of thinking. Although many have seemed stupid about some of the abstract studies, they have native powers that have too long lain dormant.

Many are permitting their forces to go to waste instead of controlling them. They must discipline themselves to gain self control over such habits as over-eating, coarseness, inertia, anger, and other beauty destroyers.

Any excessive emotion debilitates the nervous system and thus affects good looks.

Proper poise prolongs life because pressure on certain organs is evenly distributed and no strain is placed on any particular muscles to cause abscesses or tumors, etc. Improved circulation of the blood results, and good circulation spells health. One can think better when poise is correct for the same reason.

The conversation of people gives a pretty correct estimate of character. Complaints from people who are sorry for themselves is one of the tell-tale evidences of a weak character.

There is a present day need of knowledge concerning a certain contagion of emotions. Strong feeling sometimes vibrates that which is hostile and selfish. One fretful, scolding woman can upset a neighborhood, to say nothing of a household.

One's thoughts should be of love and peace, instead of worry and fear, lest she may harm others. A woman should be unafraid to conquer life's problems. She should have faith in herself or she will be a dreamer instead of a doer. She must be positive instead of negative, but be positive in the right way which includes the thought and help for others.

Voices reflect the mind and soul, so the colored woman should control the speaking voice.

Ella Wheeler Wilcox has said,

"Some voices affect us like music, Some voices arouse to action and ambition. Some voices fill you with despondency. Some voices irritate like a buzz-saw. Some voices snap like turtles, and some hiss like serpents."

Control of the speaking voice is one of the most admired evidences of self control.

The power of the mind over the body is said to be greater than any germ. Compelling the mind to perform some one useful disagreeable act each day is a splendid habit trainer. The influences that we exert over others will depend to a great extent upon the control over our own habits as well as the resistance to influence that others might exert over us.

One must conquer habits of laziness, untidiness, extravagance, voice, gestures, clothing, to gain power to concentrate Thought.

Her Relationship With Men.

Many girls think that they understand men, but they flatter themselves. Men do not always understand themselves, and often do things because they have been led to "the doing," by misunderstanding the girl.

A man likes to measure up to the opinion of sympathy, strength, protection, or wickedness, that he imagines a girl has of him. He often says and does things to please the girl more than to please himself.

Girls often throw out allurements and temptations especially in the way of immodest dress and seemingly innocent actions which have been the downfall of men as well as of themselves. While men have known that the temptations were deliberately planned, they have not had sufficient will power to resist. It is an unpardonable crime for a young girl to take such an advantage for frequently she ruins the career of a man. Such a girl has two souls to answer for when her own downfall is a sufficient burden to carry.

Some girls complain of insults from men. There are so many good reasons which could be given for this, but girls would indignantly deny that one reason is that they bring this upon themselves.

They discuss slippery subjects and personal experiences, and "heart longings" which call forth the ever present manly (masculine) sympathy. This often leads to actions afterwards regretted.

Men are good readers of the public bulletin--a girl's face. They see the mark of intoxicants, impure thoughts and other weaknesses as if they were spelled out on the features, and as they are keenly sensitive to projected vibrations, they act accordingly.

Sometimes dusk, or night's darkness is to blame for much mischief. Moral resistance seems to be at low ebb at this time, and an evidence of timidity or other feminine weakness may be misunderstood--read incorrectly as a feminine subterfuge seeking physical contact.

If one will always expect good from men--the men will generally rise to it. Try to believe that every man is chivalrous, but do not put his chivalry to too severe a test.

Curiosity and a too venturesome spirit may lead to mischief and trouble too great to be remedied. One must not think or project impure thoughts, nor must she expect insults and familiarities. Men generally respond to the (influencing) thought. They feel the thoughts and obey them.

Girls must remember that most men talk. Some will tell on girls if it is the last act of their lives, although they may not mean to tell. A newly married man will tell his wife, or another will tell his affinity. Another may drink too much and grow confidential. Some even talk in their sleep. One may not think that she will escape; her indiscretions will follow her to her lifelong regret.

She should not try to be a woman too early in life, and should not marry too early. She should study her physique and her constitution. She should not permit desire and curiosity to control her good sense. Long illness, suffering, operations, and even early death may result from premature responsibility. If necessary, she should consult a physician and look the future squarely in the face.

Girls do not now mature as early as their mothers and grandmothers did, and they have not the same power of endurance and resistance, because times, conditions, and the mode of living have changed.

Long engagements should not be encouraged. If a man wants a girl he will wait patiently without any coddling or coaxing. Long engagements are enervating. Engaged couples feel that they are licensed by public opinion and they tax their powers in a way that married people would not dare to do. Too much liberty in long engagements is so often a serious menace to health and happiness in after marriage relationship. It takes away the charm and bloom of married life because the man learns to know his fiancee too well.

The Religion of the Colored Girl Beautiful.