Part 26

Whilst divines and statesmen wrangle, Let the Rump-ridden nation bite on’t; There are none but we That are sure to go free, For the soldier’s still in the right on’t. Then away, etc.

If our masters won’t supply us With money, food, and clothing, Let the State look to’t, We’ll find one that will do’t, Let him live—we will not damn. Then away, etc.

SAINT GEORGE AND THE DRAGON, ANGLICE MERCURIUS POETICUS.

“The following ballad,” says Mr Wright in the Political Ballads of the Commonwealth, published for the Percy Society, “was written on the occasion of the overthrow of the Rump by Monck. He arrived in London on the third of February, and professed himself a determined supporter of the party then uppermost. On the ninth and tenth he executed their orders against the city; but suddenly on the eleventh he joined the city and the Presbyterian party, and demanded the readmission of the members who were secluded formerly from the Long Parliament. This measure put an end to the reign of the Rump, and immediately afterwards the Parliament dissolved itself, and a new one was called.—(February 28th, 1659.)”—All the notes to this Ballad are from the pen of Mr Wright.

To the tune of “The Old Courtier of the Queen’s,” etc.

NEWS! news! here’s the occurrences and a new Mercurius, A dialogue betwixt Haselrigg the baffled and Arthur the furious; With Ireton’s {50} readings upon legitimate and spurious, Proving that a saint may be the son of a whore, for the satisfaction of the curious. From a Rump insatiate as the sea, Libera nos, Domine.

Here’s the true reason of the citie’s infatuation, Ireton has made it drunk with the cup of abomination; That is, the cup of the whore, after the Geneva Interpretation, Which with the juyce of Titchburn’s grapes {51} must needs cause intoxication. From a Rump, etc.

Here’s the Whipper whipt by a friend to George, that whipp’d Jack, {52} that whipp’d the breech, That whipp’d the nation as long as it could stand over it—after which It was itself re-jerk’d by the sage author of this speech: “Methinks a Rump should go as well with a Scotch spur as with a switch.” From a Rump, etc.

This Rump hath many a rotten and unruly member; “Give the generall the oath!” cries one (but his conscience being a little tender); “I’ll abjure you with a pestilence!” quoth George, “and make you remember The ’leaventh of February {53} longer than the fifth of November!” From a Rump, etc.

With that, Monk leaves (in Rump assembled) the three estates, But oh! how the citizens hugg’d him for breaking down their gates, For tearing up their posts and chaynes, and for clapping up their mates {54} (When they saw that he brought them plasters for their broken pates). From a Rump, etc.

In truth this ruffle put the town in great disorder, Some knaves (in office) smiled, expecting ’twould go furder; But at the last, “My life on’t! George is no Rumper,” said the Recorder, “For there never was either honest man or monk of that order.” From a Rump, etc.

And so it proved; for, “Gentlemen,” says the general, “I’ll make you amends; Our greeting was a little untoward, but we’ll part friends; A little time shall show you which way my design tends, And that, besides the good of Church and State, I have no other ends.” From a Rump, etc.

His Excellence had no sooner pass’d this declaration and promise, But in steps Secretary Scot, the Rump’s man Thomas, With Luke, their lame evangelist (the Devil keep ’um from us!) {55} To shew Monk what precious members of Church and State the Bumm has. From a Rump, etc.

And now comes the supplication of the members under the rod: “Nay, my Lord!” cryes the brewer’s clerk; “good, my Lord, for the love of God! Consider yourself, us, and this poor nation, and that tyrant abroad; Don’t leave us:”—but George gave him a shrugg instead of a nodd. From a Rump, etc.

This mortal silence was followed with a most hideous noyse, Of free Parliament bells and Rump-confounding boyes, Crying, “Cut the rogues! singe their tayles!” when, with a low voyce, “Fire and sword! by this light,” cryes Tom, “Lets look to our toyes!” From a Rump, etc.

Never were wretched members in so sad a plight; Some were broyl’d, some toasted, others burnt outright; {56} Nay against Rumps so pittylesse was their rage and spite, That not a citizen would kisse his wife that night. From a Rump, etc.

By this time death and hell appear’d in the ghastly looks Of Scot and Robinson (those legislative rooks); And it must needs put the Rump most damnably off the hooks To see that when God has sent meat the Devil should send cooks. From a Rump, etc.

But Providence, their old friend, brought these saints off at last, And through the pikes and the flames undismember’d they past, Although (God wet) with many struglings and much hast,— For, members, or no members, was but a measuring cast. From a Rump, etc.

Being come to Whitehall, there’s the dismal mone, “Let Monk be damn’d!” cries Arthur in a terrible tone {57}— “That traytor, and those cuckoldy rogues that set him on!” (But tho’ the knight spits blood, ’tis observed that he draws none.) From a Rump, etc.

“The plague bawle you!” cries Harry Martin, “you have brought us to this condition, {58} You must be canting and be plagued, with your Barebones petition, {59} And take in that bull-headed, splay-footed member of the circumcision, That bacon-faced Jew, Corbet, {60} that son of perdition!” From a Rump, etc.

Then in steps driv’ling Mounson to take up the squabble, That lord which first taught the use of the woodden dagger and ladle: {61} He that out-does Jack Pudding {62} at a custard or a caudle, And were the best foole in Europe but that he wants a bauble. From a Rump, etc.

More was said to little purpose,—the next news is, a declaration From the Rump, for a free state according to the covenant of the nation, And a free Parliament under oath and qualification, Where none shall be elect but members of reprobation. From a Rump, &c.

Here’s the tail firk’d, a piece acted lately with great applause, With a plea for the prerogative breech and the Good old Cause, Proving that Rumps and members are antienter than laws, And that a bumme divided is never the worse for the flawes. From a Rump, etc.

But all things have their period and fate, An Act of Parliament dissolves a Rump of state, Members grow weak, and tayles themselves run out of date, And yet thou shalt not dye (dear breech), thy fame I’ll celebrate. From a Rump, etc.

Here lies a pack of saints that did their souls and country sell For dirt, the Devil was their good lord, him they served well; By his advice they stood and acted, and by his president they fell (Like Lucifer), making but one step betwixt heaven and hell. From a Rump insatiate as the sea Liberasti nos, Domine.

THE SECOND PART OF ST GEORGE FOR ENGLAND.

To the tune of “To drive the cold winter away.” (March 7, 1659.)

NOW the Rump is confounded There’s an end of the Roundhead, Who hath been such a bane to our nation; He hath now play’d his part, And’s gone out like a f—, Together with his reformation; For by his good favour He hath left a bad savour; But’s no matter, we’ll trust him no more. Kings and queens may appear Once again in our sphere, Now the knaves are turn’d out of door, And drive the cold winter away.