Part 37

Mr. Lavender, whose returning chivalry struggled with unconscious delight, murmured with difficulty:

“Let me go, let me go; it is too heavenly!

“Well, have you finished kicking?” asked the young lady.

“Yes,” returned Mr. Lavender in a fainting voice——“alas!”

The young lady let go of his ankles, and, aiding him to rise from the hammock, said: “I know what's the matter with you now—you're starving yourself. You ought to be kept on your back for three months at least, and fed on butter.”

Mr. Lavender, soothing the feelings of Blink, who, at his struggles, had begun to pant deeply, answered with watering lips:

“Everyone in these days must do twice as much as he ought, and I eat half, for only in this way can we compass the defeat of our common enemies.” The young lady's answer, which sounded like “Bosh!” was lost in Mr. Lavender's admiration of her magnificent proportions as she bent to pick up her yellow book.

“Aurora,” he said, “I know not what secret you share with the goddesses; suffer me to go in and give thanks for this hour spent in your company.”

And he was about to recross the privet hedge when she caught him by the coat-tag, saying:

“No, Don Pickwixote, you must dine with us. I want you to meet my father. Come along!” And, linking her arm in his, she led him towards her castle. Mr. Lavender, who had indeed no, option but to obey, such was the vigour of her arm, went with a sense of joy not unmingled with consternation lest the personage she spoke of should have viewed him in the recent extravagance of his dreaming moments.

“I don't believe,” said the young lady, gazing down at him, “that you weigh an ounce more than seven stone. It's appalling!

“Not,” returned Mr. Lavender, “by physical weight and force shall we win this war, for it is at bottom a question of morale. Right is, ever victorious in the end, and though we have infinitely greater material resources than our foes, we should still triumph were we reduced to the last ounce, because of the inherent nobility of our cause.”

“You'll be reduced to the last ounce if we don't feed, you up somehow,” said the young lady.

“Would you like to wash your hands?”

Mr. Lavender having signified his assent, she left him alone in a place covered with linoleum. When, at length, followed by Blink, he emerged from dreamy ablutions, Mr. Lavender, saw that she had changed her dress to a flowing blue garment of diaphanous character, which made her appear, like an emanation of the sky. He was about to say so when he noticed a gentleman in khaki scrutinizing him with lively eyes slightly injected with blood.

“Don Pickwixote,” said the young lady; “my father, Major Scarlet.”

Mr. Lavender's hand was grasped by one which seemed to him made of iron.

“I am honoured, sir,” he said painfully, “to meet the father of my charming young neighbour.”

The Major answered in a voice as clipped as his grey bottle-brush moustache, “Delighted! Dinner's ready. Come along!”

Mr. Lavender saw that he had a mouth which seemed to have a bitt in it; several hairs on a finely rounded head; and an air of efficient and truculent bonhomie tanned and wrinkled by the weather.

The table at which they became seated seemed to one accustomed to frugality to groan with flowers and china and glass; and Mr. Lavender had hardly supped his rich and steaming soup before his fancy took fire; nor did he notice that he was drinking from a green glass in which was a yellow fluid.

“I get Army rations,” said the Major, holding a morsel of fillet of beef towards Blink. “Nice dog, Mr. Lavender.”

“Yes,” replied Mr. Lavender, ever delighted that his favourite should receive attention, “she is an angel.”

“Too light,” said the Major, “and a bit too narrow in front; but a nice dog. What's your view of the war?”

Before Mr. Lavender could reply he felt Aurora's foot pressing his, and heard her say:

“Don Pickwixote's views are after your own heart, Dad; he's for the complete destruction of the Hun.”

“Indeed, yes,” cried Mr. Lavender with shining eyes. “Right and justice demand it. We seek to gain nothing!”

“But we'll take all we can get,” said the Major.