Part 32

Nota bene. - Dis boem was all written in 1869, pefore de wars; und all de dings prophezeit in it coomed to bass. Herein der Herr Breitmann abbears ash a Seher or Prophet so crate as de cratest ash nefer vas. Der crate ardist, Mishter W. W. Story, for whom dis lied vas written, can proof all dis. FRITZ SCHWACKENHAMMER. [Redaktor.]

LA SCALA SANTA.

"Robusti sono i fatti." - Discorso del Terremoto, del S. Alessandro Sardo. Venetia, A.D. 1586.

IN San Gianni Lateran, Dey've cot a flight of shdairs, More woonderful ash nefer vas, As Latin pooks declares. For you kits your sins forgifen, If you glimes dem knee py knee; It's such a gitten up a stairs, I nefer yet did see.

Now as Breitmann vas a vaitin Among some demi reps, Ascensionem expectans, To see dem glime de steps, Dere came a sinful scoffer, Who his mind had firmly set To go dem holy sdairs afoot, Und do it on a bet!

Boot shoost as he vas startet, To make dis sassy go, Der Breitmann caught him py de neck, Und tripped him off his toe! Und den dere come de skience, A la prenez gardez vous; For he bung his eye and bust his shell, Und shplit his noshe in dwo.

De briests vere so astonish, To see him lam de man, Dat dey shvore a holy miracle Vas vork by Breitemann. Says Breitmann, "I'm a heretic, But dis you may pe bound, No chap shall mock relishious dings Vhile I'm a bummin round.

"Und you owes me really noding, For as I'll plainly show, At last I've found out someding Vot I alfays vant to know. Und now dat I have found it, In de newspapers I'll brag: Evviva! Ho trovato, Vot means a Scala-Wag."

BREITMANN INTERVIEWS THE POPE.

"Altri beva il Falerno, altri la Tolfa. . . . . . . . .

Toscana re, dite Pra ch'io parli dite." - Bacco in Toscano, di Francisco Redi.

"Si regressum feci metro Retro ante, ante retro- Quid si graves sunt acuti? Si accentus fiant muti? Quid si placide, plene, plane Fregi frontem Prisciani?- Sat est Verbum declinavi Titubo-titubas-titubavi." - Barnabae Itinerarium. London, 1716.

VON efenin ash der Breitmann vent from his weinhaus vinkin, So peepy mit Falernian vitch he vas starkly trinkin, He found his hut and goat was gone, - dey'd dook em oud for dryin,- Und in deir blace a priester hut und priester mantel lyin.

Der Breitmann poot de triangel oopon his het, and whistled, Den rop de cloak around his form, and down de Corso mizzled. De beoples gazed mit staunischment as bey dem he go vheelin, He look ganz oltra tramontane, so twisty vas his reelin.

Next tay in Vaticano, while he shtared at frescoes o'er him, Hans toorned und mit amazemend saw der Pabst vas shoost pefore him! Down on his knees der Breitmann vent - for so de law it teaches; He proke two holes in de bavement - und likevise shblit his preeches.

"Ego video," says de Bope - "tu es antistes ex Almania, Est una mala gente et corrupta con insania, Un fons hereticorum et malorum tut terrible, Perche non vultis che ego - il Papa - sei infallibile."

"Sit verbo venia," said Hans, "permitte, Sancte Pater, Num verum est ut noster rum gemixta est mit water? In coelis wo die gotter live, non semper est sereno, Nor de wein ash goot ash decet in each spaccio di vino.

"Sunt mihi multi fratres qui si denkunt ut dicisti, Ego kickerem illos, valide, per sanguine de Christi! In nostro monasterio si habemus nostrum rentum Contra infallibilita non curamus rubrum centrum.

"Viginti nostrorum nuper convenere, In quondam capitulo, simul et dixere; Papa vult Concilium in Romam tenere, Quid debemus super hoc ipsi respondere?"

Et dixit noster presul, "Es ist mir omnis unus, Si Papa est infallibilis, tanquam non sum jejunus, Si nonus est Pius aut Pius est Nonus- Diabolis curat. Non accipio dieser onus.

"Si possum me jacere circum vitrum Rhenovini Es ist mir wurst si Papa est originis divini: Deus se fecit olim homo, et nahm dis irds'che Leben, Et nunc Papa noster will sich selbst zum Gott erheben.

"Ita dixit Breitmann et sanctus Pater respondit: Me piace semper intendere tutto cio che l'on dit, Sed tu dic mihi la sua ragione: Tu non homo natus es, solus mangiar maccheroni.

"Tonitrus et cespes!" dixit Johanes Breitmann. "Si veritatem cupies, tunc ego sum der right man; Percute semper ferrum dum caldum est et malleable, Nunc est tuum tempus te facere infallible.

"In nostra America quum Praeses decet abire, Die ultimo fecit omne quod posset imaginire. Appointet ambasciatores et post-magistros, Consules et alios, per dextros et sinistros.

"Quum Rex Bomba ista Neapolit-anus, Compulsus fuit to shin it - ut dixit Africanus- Fecit ultimo die ducos et countos, vanus. (Inter alios M'Closkey, tuus Hibernicus chanberlanus.)

"Et quia tu es; ut credo; ultimus Poporum, Facis bene devenire, quod dicitur High Cockalorum- Sei magnissimus toad in the puddle, ite caput, magnamente; Et ERITIS SICUT DEUS, nemine contradicente!

"Unus error solus, Sancte Pater commisisti. Quia primus infallible non te proclamavisti, Nam nemo audet dicere: Papa fecit quod non est bonus. Decet semper jactare super alios probandi onus.

'Conceptio Immaculata, hoc modo fixisti, Et nemo audet dicere unum verbum, de isti: Non vides si infallibilis es, et vultis es exdare, Non alius sed tu solus hanc debet proclamare."