Part 16

Dey vent oonto a bicture sale. Of frames wort' many a cent, De broperty of a shendleman, Who oonto Europe vent. "Don't gry - he'll soon pe pack again Mit anoder gallerie: He sells dem oud dwelf dimes a year," Said Breitemann, said he.

Dey vented to dis berson's house, To see his furnidure, Sold oud at aucdion rite afay, Beremdory und sure. "He geeps six houses all at vonce, Each veek a sale dere pe, Gotts! vot a dime his vife moost hafe!"- Said Breitemann, said he.

Dey vent to vind a goot cigar, Long dimes dey roamed apout, Von veller had a pran new sort, De fery latest out "Mein freund - I dinks you errs yourself De shmell ish oldt to me; Dat Infamias Stinkadores brand,"- Said Breitemann, said he.

Dey vented to de virst hotel, De prandy make dem creep, A trop of id's enough to make A brazen monkey veep. "Dey say a viner house ash dis, Vill soon ge-bildet pe, Crate Gott! - vot can dey mean to trink?" Said Breitemann, said he.

Dey vented droo de Irish shtreeds, Dey saw vrom haus to haus, Und gountet oop, 'pout more or less, Vive hoondred awful rows. "If all dese liddle vights dey waste, Could von crate pattle pe, Gotts! how de Fenian funds vouldt rise!" Said Breitmann, said he.

Dey vent to see de Ridualisds, Who vorship Gott mit vlowers, In hobes he'll lofe dem pack again, In winter among de showers. "Vhen de Pacific railroat's done, Dis dings imbrofed vill pe, De joss-sticks vill pe santal vood,"- Said Breitemann, said he.

Dey vent to hear a breecher of De last sensadion shtyle, 'Twas 'nough to make der teufel weep To see his "awful shmile." "Vot bities dat der Fechter ne'er Vas in Theologie, Dey'd make him pishop in his shoorsh," Said Breitemann, said he.

Dey vent indo a shpordin' crib, De rowdies cloostered dick, Dey ashk him dell dem vot o'glock, Und dat infernal quick. Der Breitmann draw'd his 'volver oud, Ash gool ash gool couldt pe, "Id's shoost a goin' to shdrike six," Said Breitemann, said he.

Dey vent polid'gal meedins next Dey hear dem rant and rail, Der bresident vas a forger, Shoost bardoned oud of jail. He does it oud of cratitood, To dem who set him vree: "Id's Harmonie of Inderesds," Said Breitemann, said he.

Dey vent to a clairfoyand witch, A plack-eyed handsome maid, She wahrsagt all deir vortunes - denn "Fife dollars, gents!" she said. "Dese vitches are nod of dis eart', Und yed are on id, I see, Der Shakesbeare knew de preed right vell," Said Breitemann, said he.

Dey vented to a restaurand, Der vaiter coot a dash; He garfed a shicken in a vink, Und serfed id at a vlash. "Dat shap knows vell shoost how to coot Und roon mit poulderie, He vas copitain oonder Turchin vonce," Said Breitemann, said he.

Dey vented to de Voman's Righds, Vhere laties all agrees, De gals should all pe voters, Und deir beaux all de votees. "For efery man dat nefer vorks, Von frau should vranchised pe: Dat ish de vay I solfe dis ding," Said Breitemann, said he.

Dey vented oop, dey vented down, 'Tvas like a roarin' rifer, De sighds vere here - de sighds vere dere- Und de vorldt vent on forefer. "De more ve trinks, de more ve sees, Dis vorldt a derwisch pe; Das Werden's all von whirling droonk," Said Breitemann, said he.

BREITMANN IN POLITICS.

I.-THE NOMINATION

VHEN ash de var vas ober, und Beace her shnow-wice vings Vas vafin' o'er de coondry (in shpodts) like efery dings Und heroes vere revardtet, de beople all pegan To say 'tvas shame dat nodings vas done for Breitemann.

No man wised how id vas shtartet, or vhere de fore shlog came, Boot dey shveared it vas a cinder, dereto a purnin' shame: "Dere is Schnitzerl in de Gustom-House -- potzblitz! can dis dings be! Und Breitemann he hafe nodings: vot sighds is dis to see!

"Nod de virst ret cendt for Breitmann! ish dis do pe de gry On de man dat sacked de repels und trinked dem high und dry? By meine Seel' I shvears id, und vhat's more I deglares id's drue, He vonce gleaned oudt a down in half an our, und shtripped id strumpf und shoe.

"Vhen dey ploondered de down of Huntsville, I dells you vot, py tam! He burned oop four biano-fords and a harp to roast a ham; Vhen he found de rouge und email de Paris, which de laties hafe hid in a shpot, He whited his horse all ofer - und denn pinked his ears, bei Gott!

"Vhen he found dat a blace was ploonder-fool, he alvays tell dem, sure: 'Men, sack und pack! I shoots mine eyes for only shoost an uhr.' Boot if de blace vas fery rich, he vouldt say mit a solemn mien: 'Men - I only shleep for von half uhr more - ve moost hafe tiscipline.'

"He vas shoost like Koenig Etzel, of whom de shdory dell, Der Hun who go for de Romans und gife dem shinin hell: Only dis dat dey say no grass vouldt crow vhere Etzel's horse had trot. Und I really peliefe vhere Breitmann go, de hops shpring oop, bei Gott!"

If once you tie a dog loose, dere ish more soon geds aroundt, Und vhen dis vas shtartedt on Breitmann id was rings aroom be-foundt; Dough vhy he moost hafe somedings vas nod by no means glear, Nor tid id, like Paulus' confersion, on de snap to all abbear!

Und, in facdt, Balthazar Bumchen saidt he couldtent nicht blainly see Vhy a feller for gaddrin' riches shood dus revartedt pe: Der Breitmann own drei Houser, mit a weinhandle in a stohr, Dazu ein Lager-Wirthschaft, und sonst was - somedings more.

Dis plasted plackguard none-sense ve couldn't no means shtand From a narrow-mineted shvine's kopf, of our nople captain grand: Soosh low, goarse, betty bornirtheit a shentleman deplores; So ve called him verfluchter Hundsfott, und shmysed him out of toors.

So ve all dissolfed dat Breitmann shouldt hafe a nomination To go to de Legisladoor, to make some dings off de nation; Mit de helb of a Connedigut man, in whom ve hafe great hobes, Who hat shange his boledics fivdeen dimes, und derefore knew de robes.

2. - THE COMMITTEE OF INSTRUCTION.

Denn for our Insdructions Comedy de ding vas protocollirt, By Docktor Emsig Grubler, who in Jena vonce studiret; Und for Breitmann his insdrugtions de comedy tid say Dat de All out-going from de Ones vash die first Moral Idee.

Und de segondt crate Moral Idee dat into him ve rings, Vas dat government for every man moost alfays do efery dings; Und die next Idee do vitch his mindt esbecially ve gall, Is to do mitout a Bresident und no government ad all.