Part 22

INSPECTOR I' faith! that I will; I am urgently needed to be at Athens to attend the assembly; for I am charged with the interests of Pharnaces.(1)

f(1) A Persian satrap.--An allusion to certain orators, who, bribed with Asiatic gold, had often defended the interests of the foe in the Public Assembly.

PISTHETAERUS Take it then, and be off. See, here is your salary. (BEATS HIM.)

INSPECTOR What does this mean?

PISTHETAERUS 'Tis the assembly where you have to defend Pharnaces.

INSPECTOR You shall testify that they dare to strike me, the inspector.

PISTHETAERUS Are you not going to clear out with your urns? 'Tis not to be believed; they send us inspectors before we have so much as paid sacrifice to the gods.

A DEALER IN DECREES "If the Nephelococcygian does wrong to the Athenian..."

PISTHETAERUS Now whatever are these cursed parchments?

DEALER IN DECREES I am a dealer in decrees, and I have come here to sell you the new laws.

PISTHETAERUS Which?

DEALER IN DECREES "The Nephelococcygians shall adopt the same weights, measures and decrees as the Olophyxians."(1)

f(1) A Macedonian people in the peninsula of Chalcidice. This name is chosen because of its similarity to the Greek word (for) 'to groan.' It is from another verb, meaning the same thing, that Pisthetaerus coins the name of Ototyxians, i.e. groaners, because he is about to beat the dealer.--The mother-country had the right to impose any law it chose upon its colonies.

PISTHETAERUS And you shall soon be imitating the Ototyxians. (BEATS HIM.)

DEALER IN DECREES Hullo! what are you doing?

PISTHETAERUS Now will you be off with your decrees? For I am going to let YOU see some severe ones.

INSPECTOR (RETURNING) I summon Pisthetaerus for outrage for the month of Munychion.(1)

f(1) Corresponding to our month of April.

PISTHETAERUS Ha! my friend! are you still there?

DEALER IN DECREES "Should anyone drive away the magistrates and not receive them, according to the decree duly posted..."

PISTHETAERUS What! rascal! you are there too?

INSPECTOR Woe to you! I'll have you condemned to a fine of ten thousand drachmae.

PISTHETAERUS And I'll smash your urns.(1)

f(1) Which the inspector had brought with him for the purpose of inaugurating the assemblies of the people or some tribunal.

INSPECTOR Do you recall that evening when you stooled against the column where the decrees are posted?

PISTHETAERUS Here! here! let him be seized. (THE INSPECTOR RUNS OFF.) Well! don't you want to stop any longer?

PRIEST Let us get indoors as quick as possible; we will sacrifice the goat inside.(1)

f(1) So that the sacrifices might no longer be interrupted.